Danielle

Not Wanting

6 posts in this topic

Lately I've been feeling blank, totally indifferent to everything. It's like all my desires vanished and my goals don't feel true anymore. Last time I had this occur I was in the midst of the dark night of the soul, but this feels different. Most of the time I feel peaceful and just blank. When I ask myself what do I really want out of life, old answers come up, like becoming a good public speaker, developing unconditional love etc but they don't feel true anymore. Any answer I come up with feels wrong, except nothing. I want nothing.

Does anyone have experience with this disorienting state? Is this what people mean when they say falling away of personal will?


Having no destination, I'm never lost. - Ikkyu

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It's a good thing to want nothing. To want is to be trapped. I also have this for some time now, instead of wanting anything i just let life happen to me and see what society makes me to be although I still have a mask I put on occaisonally for the convinience sake in society. I mean would be wierd if people ask you why are you even here in this school, at this job and you don't have any goals to tell someone. Yet there are things that interest me but this doesn't mean i want to achieve anything in them. 
You already have everything inside, this becomes experiential or apparent at some point, thats why you don't want anything.
This is atleast the case if you don't feel really depressed then it might be the other way around that you are very far from your true being.

So now is time to use this playground of life to have some fun in the perspective of this being.

Edited by LaucherJunge

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@LaucherJunge  thank you for sharing, that resonated. I don't feel depressed at all, just confused because it happened in a snap of a finger and made me question a lot of things. 


Having no destination, I'm never lost. - Ikkyu

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im a fan of desire without suffering.   takes a quited mind.  i think you may have expanded your consciousness and are aware of more so to speak, and finding some peace in the beauty and perfection of things.  Ime, wanting has a way of coming back.  Enjoy both as experience.   


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6 hours ago, Danielle said:

Does anyone have experience with this disorienting state? Is this what people mean when they say falling away of personal will?

Yes that is the falling away of personal will and it can be quite a challenge. I have no good advice for you except just let it happen. Don't let your life fall apart too much. Some things just need to be done whether the desire to do them is there or not. Just do it!

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@Danielle Yea I feel you. Its a state where I feel completely okay with everything, good or bad. No goals, no desires. Just life happening and flowing, like a transparent cloud. 


The art is to look without looking 

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