Posted July 14, 2017 How does a person forgive and let go of the past? All forgiveness, any forgiveness? How to move on and grow from these experiences? Thank you! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 14, 2017 (edited) Forgiveness is a little difficult to understand. Most people think of it as a favor to others. But it's actually a favor to self. The more you're attached to your previous experiences,the more they come back to hurt you over and over. This creates a vicious cycle of self pity where a traumatic or bad incident happens in life and every time you ruminate on it, it gets refreshed and thus the wound inside is not allowed to heal. It erupts again and again and again and comes back like a dark shadow to keep hurting you and follow you wherever you go. You never truly become free of it. Liken forgiveness to freedom. The more you forgive and forget, the more freedom you derive from it. Your mind becomes calm and relaxed and the hurting stops. This clears up your mind and lets you to move on to other better things in life which hitherto remained unattended due to the mind's constant involvement in the trauma-hurt-why only me-victimization-unforgiveness-hurt-memory-selfpity-hurt-constant rumination-hurt again cycle. Thus you're not able to move on or achieve anything in life because you remain stuck in previous experiences all the time. Where is the mind free to think of anything else ?? The incident that occurred is already bad enough. Remembering it and being unable to let go makes it even worse. I suffered a lot because of being trapped in the cycle mentioned above in this answer. I finally forgave my emotional abuser and let go and now I am much better. Certain things that I used to let go and forgive. Mindfulness meditation Focusing and living in the present moment. The NOW is powerful. Spending time with my neighbor's pets. (I don't keep any pets because of the bad memories. ) Realization of the fact that there is much more pain in this world, more than my pain and together we are survivors. Knowing I am subconsciously with them helps. Blocking thoughts of previous memories and engaging in temporary distractions. Metta meditation - every morning I wake up , I close my eyes and say to myself that I am giving lots of love to this planet all humans and animals. I meditate and deeply feel this love going to them and healing their trouble. Listening to soothing music. This thought/Insight helped me tremendously - whatever happened is not my fault. I choose to move on despite the injustice happening to me because I am full of grace and I'm strong. It's his/her/their bad KARMA and not mine. I forgive him/her/them because I am higher in my spiritual pursuit and I realize that bad things happen things happen to good people in this pursuit even though it's not their fault. I am good and my good karma will always lead me to a better place. Self responsibility - Realization of the fact that from now on your life is in your hands. To move on is the smarter option than staying stuck. Independence and freedom. - Practicing Emotional freedom....EFT emotional freedom techniques. Understanding that having emotional freedom right now in this moment is the key to being independent of this world and its good/bad experiences and living like a truly free bird. I hope this helps. Edited July 14, 2017 by Loreena Only ONE path is true. Rest is noise. God is beauty, rest is Ugly Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 14, 2017 Unfortunately, the easiest way to find your self to be all-forgiving is to suffer immensely, in other words to experience hell. Something I recommend? Not at all, but I feel like it should be mentioned. Why? Because you come to realize why people hurt you and why they therefore deserve your forgiveness.To become forgiving of every possible deed done to you, you most first become unconditionally loving to all. This topic is one of those were knowledge won't cut it, you will require insight into the topic to really get anywhere. Try to identify why you hurt others be it by accident or not, then you try to project that into others and try to identity why others hurt each other. It is key that you identify it yourself and don't find the information online, that would only confuse you and distract from the truth. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 14, 2017 @Spiral @Loreena @Prabhaker Thank you! I'll add this advice to my notes. Appreciate these in depth responses. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 15, 2017 Ask yourself. Do you forgive for them or you? Forgiving for them that will be hard. Lots of emotional karma entanglement that's a lot of crap to sort out for one person way to much time for the crap you have already delt with. Or do you forgive for yourself. Because holding onto hate is uncomfortable, painful and it really keeps that enemy close. Because you will draw their energy/consciousness with your obsessive thoughts. I choose to forgive for myself. It feels great. Anyone that doesn't live up to an accepable honor code I don't rush to be around that's all. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 15, 2017 My words in blue. On 7/14/2017 at 1:48 PM, Annetta said: How does a person forgive and let go of the past? Identify yourself with what you have trouble forgiving. But keep it simple. Don't get caught up in the stories/details. For example, my upbringing was an only child with abusive alcoholic father. Lots of stories to not forgive. But I came to realize that my father was abusive when he 'lost the plot'. Then I realized that I have also experienced losing the plot (not in an abusive way). In that identification I was able to forgive my father. All forgiveness, any forgiveness? Yes, if you identify yourself as a person who also makes mistakes, is imperfect, has defects of character and shortcomings. Then what actually happens for forgiveness to occur is you forgiving self which in turn forgives others. As long as you cannot identify what really is to be forgiven in yourself, you will only see differences, judgments, comparisons and criticism. All the makings of unforgiveness. How to move on and grow from these experiences? Experiences are personal, they are subject to our judgment, censorship, and story editing. In other words, they can be re-edited by altering our attitude towards them. A good way to shift old nonsupporting attitudes is to honestly assess your okayness with self. If you can honestly say that you are okay, that you are happy with who you are, Then your experiences (both good and bad) have helped you to become the person your are now. No matter how bad an experience, one can learn something else from it. The first time I came across this lesson came about after reading a book by Viktor Frankl, "Man's Search for Meaning". Journal: Rediscovering Creativity Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
