instant date struggle

[Olaf]

After getting laid this weekend I decided to do a new challenge that I came up with to get better at game. I decided I wouldn't close any numbers or insta's for the next month. So today was my first day doing this challenge. I realised I had completly different goals as I only had this moment, so therefor I only cared about instant dates. So with my wingmen I was in a 2 set some very cute 19 year old girls from Britain, and after a few mins of talking I asked them what they were going to do. Then I invited them to the karaoke bar. They wanted to go and I simply said "lets go" and started walking and they came with. So was very easy. Then in the karaoke bar I had a bit of a struggle, because I was having fun and they were having fun, I even was escalating with the girl sitting next to me, I was touching her leg and arm and she was touching me back.

But we fucked up a little bit or allot, because they wanted drinks, they didn't say we had to buy drinks, but she said to me like "If you would drink you would be so fun" and also they wanted to drink and I said I didn't wanted to drink. They never explicitly said buy me drinks, but anyways I don't know what to do in this situation as I haven't experienced it before. I don't want to buy them drinks and that I am the nice guy who they make use off, but at the same time they left after they said to my other wingmen, "we are gonna go to another bar for cheaper drinks, come with us" he said no, such a douche  all that work for nothing, hahahaha self sabotage at its best  but I wonder what to do next time as I will be trying to get allot of these instant dates this months with this new challenge. 

Edited yesterday at 02:08 AM by Olaf

[thierry]

It sounds like it was a good experience overall, but I think you came across two opportunistic girls. It happens.

I find spontaneous dates really, really tricky, even though I can think of a few that turned out really well for me. It’s a shot in the dark every time.

 

 

[Olaf]

@thierry yes I am new to instant dates, I have no clue what I am doing 

[Zenterus]

Nicely done, man. Seems like instant dates are getting easier and easier. A lot of game is like that. Once you do a thing once and see it's possible, then each time after that it becomes more and more second nature.

As far as buying drinks goes, I respect your boundary. When the girl said that you'd be more fun if you drank, I'd say something like "You're free to go if you're bored" but in a charming, playful and cocky way rather than a serious butt-hurt manner. It's a fine balance. They almost never leave, which builds massive attraction cause you convey a willingness to lose the set.

As for the last part where the girls asked you to go along to another bar, I would've gone with. Netherlands game is different than American game.  Todd V has an old video about this, but Alex Social talks about this a lot too, but women here definitely do the choosing. You can still pull a girl and lead the whole thing all the way to your bedroom. But I've had equal degrees of success just hanging out with a girl who was basically leading us in circles only to eventually end up in her bed (and in her guts). Girls wanna fuck too, they just dont want it to be predictable  and as long as youre a cool dude and are around her long enough, sex will happen.

 

[Majed]

On 11/11/2026 at 3:39 AM, Olaf said:

After getting laid this weekend I decided to do a new challenge that I came up with to get better at game. I decided I wouldn't close any numbers or insta's for the next month. So today was my first day doing this challenge. I realised I had completly different goals as I only had this moment, so therefor I only cared about instant dates. So with my wingmen I was in a 2 set some very cute 19 year old girls from Britain, and after a few mins of talking I asked them what they were going to do. Then I invited them to the karaoke bar. They wanted to go and I simply said "lets go" and started walking and they came with. So was very easy. Then in the karaoke bar I had a bit of a struggle, because I was having fun and they were having fun, I even was escalating with the girl sitting next to me, I was touching her leg and arm and she was touching me back.

But we fucked up a little bit or allot, because they wanted drinks, they didn't say we had to buy drinks, but she said to me like "If you would drink you would be so fun" and also they wanted to drink and I said I didn't wanted to drink. They never explicitly said buy me drinks, but anyways I don't know what to do in this situation as I haven't experienced it before. I don't want to buy them drinks and that I am the nice guy who they make use off, but at the same time they left after they said to my other wingmen, "we are gonna go to another bar for cheaper drinks, come with us" he said no, such a douche  all that work for nothing, hahahaha self sabotage at its best  but I wonder what to do next time as I will be trying to get allot of these instant dates this months with this new challenge. 

@Olaf What i noticed is that pick up mostly doesn't work. I mean don't get me wrong, it can work. But not in most cases and for most people. That's why pick up artists do thousands of approaches. If pick up worked, then you would need a couple approaches before meeting your girlfriend, and then you're done. 

I think dating relies heavily on cultural context. Like if you're at a bar, it's different than if you're at a café or restaurant. Sort of the difference between night game and gaming during day time. 

So this is one factor, another factor, which i think is hugely important is the culture itself, and the customs around dating in your local area. I recommend you check the customs of how things are done in your area and try to work around it. 

Edited 27 minutes ago by Majed

[Olaf]

@Majed don't bring your own failure of pick up onto others. I don't need your negativity in my life. 

[Olaf]

@Zenterus yes I noticed that too, that is why in the beginning it feels hard, because everything is for the first time and you don't know what the hell you are doing. I guess that abundance mindset is great, it is often the desperation that makes people run away, in this case my wingmen had to just go with them to the bar, so I see now how I also need to work on instructing my wingmen better for next time. On the other side I know there will be allot more instant dates so eventually I will get better at it, for now just learning from the little experiences that I have. 

Edited 1 minute ago by Olaf