The Ego

[Spiritual Warrior]

The Ego

I've been shining a lot of light on my ego lately and I probably should give this "little guy in my head" some grace because hes just a scared little figment of my imagination that doesn't want to die, but I am as of right now disgusted my him. He is selfish, he is whiny, he doesn't care about others, he gets mad when things don't go his way. I mean come on man, grow the fuck up. 

Of course, when I say this, I am referring to the person that I am or that I identify with. That is what the ego is. At its core, this ego is a hallucination that I have been embodying since the day I was born. But now, at 31 years of age I am really starting to see it for what it is.

And EVERYONE lives this way, everyone. We are all fine and dandy just living in this little dream world that honestly doesn't really give you the fulfillment that you are searching for. Every time I produce some achievement, there is never any real lasting happiness or fulfillment, its just on the next thing. There is something flawed here and I am determined to not live like this. 

Now that im 31 years old, I want to start thinking about if I want to have kids in a few years, do I want to stay at my job long term, etc... but its so hard to decide when I can now see that the ego taints all perceptions of reality in gunk. I want to clear the windshield and see reality exactly AS IT IS before I make any lifelong decisions. 

Edited 4 hours ago by Spiritual Warrior

[Someone here]

There might be a false belief or expectation that life should always work out for you and you should be satisfied all along but consider that this is a totally false assumption and if you are seeking peace of mind , you have to understand that you are not fundamentally here on this earth to always be happy and satisfied. It seems like your direct experience contradicts your false expectations. The sooner you accept this principle the better .

being a father in 31 in my humble opinion is a bit quick and you still need a little bit more of life experience.

[Leo Gura]

Good. Good. Progress.

[Breakingthewall]

Exactly, well said, everyone lives like that, and it's a pretty sad way to live. Remember when you were a child and reality was alive, but at a certain point, without knowing exactly how, everything turned into evaluation, judgment, calculation, the need to fit in, to succeed, and then reality was no longer alive, it was an Excel spreadsheet with chronic anxiety, looking toward a future where everything would be good if a series of requirements are met.

That path is a disaster; the only sensible way is to open up to the living source maintaining the necessary planificación of the adult. achieving it is a difficult equation, but possible.

Edited 1 hour ago by Breakingthewall