Cool poly example of a man with 2 wives and kids living together

[LordFall]

Seems like a really fun household with everyone happy and satisfied. A lot of people that have many thoughts against polyamory can't imagine this happening so here it is.

To me this is pretty close to my dream dating life but I want more partners on a bigger property and adding some BDSM elements into it. I think it'll requires greater than average communication, emotional intelligence and personal finance skills but once done properly it'll be a fun and fulfilling adventure. 

[Olaf]

@LordFall he even looks a little bit like you, maybe this is the future version of you. I am thinking btw you should probably go to lesbian bars, because I had 2 lesbians who were in an open relationship and looking for a guy, I was just an idiot to not close, because she was hinting with not just her words, but her eyes. But probably more girls out there like that. 

[Valach]

Did we watch the same video? I am not speaking against polyamorous relationships here (though I don't think of them highly either), but the relationship describes in the video is far from a healthy one.

[LordFall]

10 minutes ago, Valach said:

Did we watch the same video? I am not speaking against polyamorous relationships here (though I don't think of them highly either), but the relationship describes in the video is far from a healthy one.

How so? It seemed quite healthy and functional to me. 

14 minutes ago, Olaf said:

@LordFall he even looks a little bit like you, maybe this is the future version of you. I am thinking btw you should probably go to lesbian bars, because I had 2 lesbians who were in an open relationship and looking for a guy, I was just an idiot to not close, because she was hinting with not just her words, but her eyes. But probably more girls out there like that. 

Yeah I think the LGBTQ community is gonna have a lot of my type of women that are also looking for an alternative lifestyle. 

Some black guys are more dominant and confident and thus are more able to reach for the type of relationship they want. Not all of us but it's more common in that community than others. People of all ethnicities do it though, here is one with an all white throuple.

 

[Olaf]

@LordFall yes and white woman seem to have a type for black men. I had the weirdest thing, I was talking to a white girl, because of the lightning she thought I was brasilian and was attracted to me, till I told her I was dutch, instantly she wasn't attracted anymore. So I think some woman really have a type for black men, not to be racist, just what I notice. But the opposite is also true, many south american, black girls are actually interested in white men, this is what I observed with all my wingmen and myself who are mostly white. 

[Ulax]

@Olaf One of my black friends in college told me that white girls would tell him they wanted the black boy experience with him

[Olaf]

@Ulax imagine a guy would say that to a girl, instantly we would call him out for being racist, but when a woman does it, its okay, strange world.

[LordFall]

Yeah, racial preferences and fetishes are definitely a real thing in dating, both ways. Asian women really love white guys for example. I don't think it's really much to do with actual skin color more about underlying psychology based on wanting to try something taboo or dating partner that will look good look with you socially. Humans like to believe we are above this stuff but it drives most of society in all kinds of ways. 

But back to the dynamic, it really comes down to whether you have the presence and leadership to manage multiple personalities without everything falling apart. I don't think it's for every man but many give up on it without even trying it. Due to the surplus of undateable men there is also a surplus of single women so it's a great time to give it a go.

If you're seriously working on yourself, women you encounter will deeply appreciate you for it. 

[Olaf]

@LordFall but 2 woman is relatively easy compared to 5. You said you wanted 5 wifes right? How are you gonna make sure not everything will go crazy? Maybe you should first get 2 girlfriends and see if you enjoy that.

[Valach]

30 minutes ago, LordFall said:

How so? It seemed quite healthy and functional to me. 

The foundation of them starting the polyamorous setting was that he was cheating, his monogamous partner was not happy about it and tried to stop him but he did not, so they decided to open up their relationship for the woman he was cheating with. That is not healthy in the slightest - deep codependence and inability to exercise boundaries from the woman and lack of any values and character from the guy.

They also do not seem to be taking too good of a care of their family - too many kids cramped up in too little space.

Edited 5 hours ago by Valach

[LordFall]

6 minutes ago, Olaf said:

@LordFall but 2 woman is relatively easy compared to 5. You said you wanted 5 wifes right? How are you gonna make sure not everything will go crazy? Maybe you should first get 2 girlfriends and see if you enjoy that.

Yeah, that's the plan!

 I've dated multiple women casually at once before and it was great, so the next progression is cohabiting with two and seeing how that dynamic flows.

4 minutes ago, Valach said:

The foundation of them starting the polyamorous setting was that he was cheating, his monogamous partner was not happy about it and tried to stop him but he did not, so they decided to open up their relationship for the woman he was cheating with. That is not healthy in the slightest - deep codependence and inabilityt to exercise boundaries from the woman and lack of any values and character from the guy.

They also do not seem to be taking too good of a care of their family - too many kids cramped up in too little space.

If you watched the video, the original partner addresses that directly. They worked through that early phase together, she realized she genuinely enjoyed being around the second girlfriend, was sexually attracted to her as well, and now views her as a sister wife. They've been together for 8 years and had a full commitment ceremony. A messy origin from almost a decade ago doesn't invalidate a currently thriving family.

Seems like they're managing fine with the resources they have. I'm sure any couple would like having more cashflow to afford a bigger house but reality is what it is. Personally, I'm looking at literal castles in Southern Europe to buy and renovate, so when my business scales to where it's heading over the next few years, space won't be an issue for a big household and guests.

Each person has to find what works for them and what vision of their ideal relationship looks like and go for it. 

[Valach]

19 minutes ago, LordFall said:

If you watched the video, the original partner addresses that directly. They worked through that early phase together, she realized she genuinely enjoyed being around the second girlfriend, was sexually attracted to her as well, and now views her as a sister wife. They've been together for 8 years and had a full commitment ceremony. A messy origin from almost a decade ago doesn't invalidate a currently thriving family.

Seems like they're managing fine with the resources they have. I'm sure any couple would like having more cashflow to afford a bigger house but reality is what it is. Personally, I'm looking at literal castles in Southern Europe to buy and renovate, so when my business scales to where it's heading over the next few years, space won't be an issue for a big household and guests.

Each person has to find what works for them and what vision of their ideal relationship looks like and go for it. 

I did see that. I don't buy that for a second. So many people claim their relationships work fine while it is clear they are not. What people often mean by "working things out" is "I suppressed myself in the relationships to keep it going in order to not get my traumas triggered again (abandonment in this case)"

Noone, who is secure and has a healthy sense of self esteem would tolerate this behaviour.

[Ulax]

4 minutes ago, Valach said:

I did see that. I don't buy that for a second. So many people claim their relationships work fine while it is clear they are not. What people often mean by "working things out" is "I suppressed myself in the relationships to keep it going in order to not get my traumas triggered again (abandonment in this case)"

Noone, who is secure and has a healthy sense of self esteem would tolerate this behaviour.

Be careful making universal claims

[Olaf]

42 minutes ago, LordFall said:

Yeah, that's the plan!

let us know how it goes! You might have inspired me to get a relationship with multiple woman and now that I got an invitation from that girl, I can start to see this as a real possibility now. You just got to be at the right place, at the right time, but I think you will get it. 

[Ulax]

@LordFall I look forward to seeing your first French Chateau Polyamory vlog one day

[LordFall]

1 hour ago, Valach said:

I did see that. I don't buy that for a second. So many people claim their relationships work fine while it is clear they are not. What people often mean by "working things out" is "I suppressed myself in the relationships to keep it going in order to not get my traumas triggered again (abandonment in this case)"

Noone, who is secure and has a healthy sense of self esteem would tolerate this behaviour.

If you decide in advance that anyone living outside standard monogamy is secretly traumatized or lying to themselves, you'll never see reality clearly. You’re projecting your own standard onto a dynamic that has demonstrably worked for them for nearly a decade.

Obviously if you yourself would be looking to start dating multiple women at once I would tell you to be completely upfront and honest from the start and not spring it upon people. Real life is messy and couples form under all sorts of circumstances. What matters is how they communicate and work through the challenges with the people that they choose to spend their life with. The fact that they've been together for years and are all living in the same house with the kids seeming well-adjusted and happy speaks volumes to the success of their throuple. They say themselves that many of the monogamous couples they knew have already broken up by now. 

32 minutes ago, Ulax said:

@LordFall I look forward to seeing your first French Chateau Polyamory vlog one day

It's gonna be sick, I think 5 years will be a good timeline to work towards acquiring the castle but I'll start out the poly stuff next year. If my game is strong expect a poly vlog with 2 girlfriends around May 2027. 

https://search.savills.com/property-detail/bvi77026

Some of these properties are quite affordable so it's really gonna depend on how big I can scale the brand. Ideally I want an oceanfront estate but that pumps up the price like 5x. If I can launch my game and it's commercially successful and I manage to retain most of the equity, then I think I could do it in 5 years, even the oceanfront one.

You've never seen an IP like this, I want to host real-life balls for a European aristocracy-inspired game at the actual castle I own. I think it might pay for itself at that point and I'll be in profit from purchasing the property. One step at a time though, for now winter is almost starting in Montreal and all I got to warm myself up is a very well functioning central heating system and dreams of castles in the south of France.

What about you, what type of dating vision are you working on actualizing for yourself? 

@Olaf Awesome, if it appeals to you I think you can 100% do it. I don't believe in the right place at the right time, I believe in intentional strategies that scale over time and produce exceptional results.

My dating strategy has only gotten better in the past 5 years and it's looking like the fruits are only gonna get sweeter over the next 5.

I wish you the same success brother! 

Edited 4 hours ago by LordFall

[Emerald]

@LordFall Why is that the specific vision that you gravitate towards?

What does it mean to you (or about you) to be the guy who has a castle and five wives? 

And how do you imagine that your daily life is going to look like in 10, 20, 30+ years.

Will you still want these wives when you're all in your 70s or 80s?

[Olaf]

@Emerald What is there to hate about it? sounds like every guys dream. Maybe at 70 or 80 it gets different, but then you got to live it up while you are still young.

[Emerald]

2 minutes ago, Olaf said:

@Emerald What is there to hate about it? sounds like every guys dream. Maybe at 70 or 80 it gets different, but then you got to live it up while you are still young.

I'm trying to get a sense of how much it's a fantasy... and how much of it is a decisions being made with the reality in mind.

Most men would fantasize about it... and most of those same men would get fed up with it quickly because it isn't the idyllic vision they had in their head.

Edit: Also... a marriage isn't meant to be something you do when you're young and not when you're old. If you marry someone, you marry every age they are thereafter.

So, if he's not okay with being an 80 year old with 5 wives in their 70s and 80s, then he's just operating from a fantasy. 

Edited 1 hour ago by Emerald

[Olaf]

@Emerald yes but I think he will first start with 2 girlfriends to see if it works for him, he will let us know!