I have been diagnosed with dissociative identity "disorder" and now know why I was "a

[Cubbage]

Yeah. Pretty mad. Makes a lot of sense. I never felt like I had a sense of self. This has been hell for most of my life but awakening made me realise I already had a foot in the door for pursuing spirituality. I am at peace (relatively). What are your guys thoughts on DID and awakening? On top of all the other disorders relationship with this stuff. 🍻 

[Cubbage]

Did not mean to write such a bad title sorry lol my phone made it look like I had written a full title. Definitely a skill issue as well tho.

[Yimpa]

Hi Cubbage! I’ve been meeting more people with DID especially in the past year or so. I’d love to hear more about your experience. I am shy so I don’t know what to ask 🙈

[Cubbage]

Yo! My main insight into this state of consciousness is that it is only a "disorder" if you are living the conventional, neurological lifestyle. I'm a YouTuber and freelance voice actor, so I am living an alternative life which allows me to be at peace with my own mind. For anyone who is in a similar position with a debilitating mental condition, I would encourage them to carve out their own path by tapping into the type of creativity that only your type of mind can produce. This is when neurodivergence becomes a "superpower". It shouldn't be romanticised though, as if you are not living aligned with your own values and ambitions, this condition is 100% a disorder and generates an unfathomable amount of mental and sometimes physical suffering. 

 

Hope this was insightful.

[Cubbage]

21 minutes ago, Yimpa said:

Hi Cubbage! I’ve been meeting more people with DID especially in the past year or so. I’d love to hear more about your experience. I am shy so I don’t know what to ask 🙈

Interesting! How would you describe the people you meet with DID, like what sort of behaviour do you observe/intuit? I'm more interested in awakening-coded people's opinions on the condition than regular society haha normies aren't very helpful. I haven't pursued treatment because my whole life has been self-treatment with meditation and psychedelics.

[Cubbage]

Regarding psychedelics, I'd agree that extreme neurodivergents like myself and schizophrenic types should be especially careful with psychedelics, but if you can wisely and healthily interface with them, they are genuinely the best way to understand your condition. My friend xoradmagical is a schizophrenic content creator and he has a plethora of psychedelic experience which helped him be at peace with his hallucinations.

 

 

 

 

[Yimpa]

21 minutes ago, Cubbage said:

My friend xoradmagical is a schizophrenic content creator and he has a plethora of psychedelic experience which helped him be at peace with his hallucinations.

i really enjoyed ur interview together! would love a part 2 one day 

[Yimpa]

26 minutes ago, Cubbage said:

How would you describe the people you meet with DID, like what sort of behaviour do you observe/intuit?

I feel a deep connection with them, but the connection doesn’t last very long and then we “forget” about each other 😭

Quote

I'm more interested in awakening-coded people's opinions on the condition than regular society haha normies aren't very helpful

Yeah, I struggle with masking a ton and try to act like a normie, which doesn’t help. But when we are able to unmask, that’s when the magic happens.

Quote

 I haven't pursued treatment because my whole life has been self-treatment with meditation and psychedelics.

I was on psychiatric medicines when I was younger, but they were only short-term solutions. I feeling more open on the medical cannabis.

[Cubbage]

48 minutes ago, Yimpa said:

I was on psychiatric medicines when I was younger, but they were only short-term solutions. I feeling more open on the medical cannabis.

Me too! Medical buds have been a lifesaver for me. I was addicted to ketamine (makes sense considering the dissociative angle) for a long time until medical ganja allowed me to tap into a lot of my psychological problems and also allow my body to relax. Glad they work for you mate 🍻 

[Yimpa]

[Cubbage]

Really appreciated your latest blog post @Leo Gura it was especially illuminating to further understand my condition ✌️ 

[Leo Gura]

@Cubbage How many personalities you got?

[Yimpa]

16 minutes ago, Cubbage said:

Really appreciated your latest blog post @Leo Gura it was especially illuminating to further understand my condition ✌️ 

Weeda illest my G  

[Cubbage]

15 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

@Cubbage How many personalities you got?

Infinity 🤓 jk, at this point in my life I have mostly stabilised into an amalgamation of all of them, but some days I slip into that of something different without even knowing it. There is a manic identity that sometimes emerges "randomly" (I don't think it is random but experientially it feels like that) but I have learnt to control/alleviate that through meditation. The other week I slipped into some strange identity that resulted in me walking through the forest naked in the middle of the night because it felt like what I had to be doing in the moment (something "normal" me would never do). This was all done consciously and I didn't disturb anyone. I have thankfully tapped into how to alleviate my DID by healthily channelling my various other identities that emerge, rather than suppressing them. Suppressing them is what has caused the bulk of of my suffering in life.

[Cubbage]

1 hour ago, Yimpa said:

i really enjoyed ur interview together! would love a part 2 one day 

We'd love to do it. I'm going to visit him in person and do a talk someday.

[Jirh]

You might enjoy the Unbreakable Trilogy.

[Cubbage]

2 minutes ago, Jirh said:

You might enjoy the Unbreakable Trilogy.

Funnily enough I started watching Split last night and it was scarily close to home haha I've not seen the other one's.

[Cubbage]

I always related to this a lot as a kid:

 

[Cubbage]

Oh I forgot to mention I do have one very distinct personality that has mostly softened called Jimmy (my mates call him that) who is almost like the hedonistic, animalistic version of my baseline ego. He's verbose, vulgar and as equally as annoying as he is entertaining (from what I've been told, it's not fun actually being Jimmy). Jimmy has caused most of the problems in my life. Ironically, Jimmy is ME, I just hadn't integrated him. Now we're sort of at peace and I am no longer addicted to drugs (experientially, in my mind I feel like I am on drugs all the time and pursue sober activities that produce the feeling of drugs like rock climbing, playing music, writing, voice acting etc.)

I am fairly certain that if I didn't actually discover psychedelics, this work and meditation I would have ended up as a criminal, homeless or worse.

[Jirh]

7 minutes ago, Cubbage said:

Funnily enough I started watching Split last night and it was scarily close to home haha I've not seen the other one's.

It works this way too. The first two movies are not in real order.

But leave Glass to the end.