interest and effort

[Olaf]

I am noticing that if all the effort and interest is coming from me, there is too much on my side, it needs to balance out. If I don't text a girl for 1 day, she will be the one starting, instead of asking a question I make a statement and she starts asking me questions, I think that we are taught to invest and put in so much effort when many times I see the opposite working in my favor. And sometimes even the opposite: showing disinterest, I told a girl the other day I need to vomit, because I really needed to, it almost made her feel like I am being real for the first time. Not this mask of being "perfect" and putting in effort and interest. What do you guys think about this?

Edited Saturday at 11:27 PM by Olaf

[Lyubov]

You have to put basically no effort into women if you clear the bar in their mind if you are in their fuckzone or not. Effort and pandering is what guys do for women they aren’t able to pull. This is what I’ve been saying here. She knows if she wants to fuck you in 15 minutes after meeting you. The rest is you dancing like a monkey for her enjoyment OR getting out of your own way so you don’t sabotage it and kill her attraction for you. What women say they want “effort, men doing everything, etc” is very different from reality, that effort they only want from guys in the fuckzone and even then too much of it gives too much of your power away and kills the sexual tension. 

Your batting average is the girls you can pull and what women make it easy for you to sleep with them. Rarely a girl may give pity sex if like they’re broke and you’re always there for them but it’s not a route to lean on or the way to go. 

Edited 6 hours ago by Lyubov

[Olaf]

@Lyubov I think your speaking some facts here

[Puer Aeternus]

Sounds like experience is revealing some interesting things to you! 

Too many ideas are yucky icky, too many ideas and you are not playing it closer to what's there but rather by some partial reality in your head. 

Can you be connected to yourself? Can you be in the moment with her? Sounds like you got a little taste of something beyond that high interest tactic.

But I don't think intentionally showing disinterest will bring you what you think you want. You're just switching tactics, express your interest if you have it, express your disinterest if you have that, be responsive and open if you can find a way to do that.

Can I ask what is your goal of all of this is? 

[Olaf]

@Puer Aeternus For now I am learning attraction through my experiences, what girls respond to and what they don't respond to, I would say that it is a superficial game, but without understanding, without it I can't go to the next phase with a girl, first there needs to be attraction, before it leading anywhere else. As Lyubov said, after the first 15 mins you are either in or out of the fuckzone. 

[Miguel1]

There is a reason assholes do so well with girls

[Joseph Maynor]

8 minutes ago, Miguel1 said:

There is a reason assholes do so well with girls

But sometimes the girl is the asshole too.  This is kinda taboo to say.  Every person has pros and cons.  

[Miguel1]

1 minute ago, Joseph Maynor said:

But sometimes the girl is the asshole too.  This is kinda taboo to say.  Every person has pros and cons.  

What does that have anything to do with what I said

[Joseph Maynor]

Just now, Miguel1 said:

What does that have anything to do with what I said

Notice how you are treated by asshole girls.  

[Puer Aeternus]

3 hours ago, Olaf said:

@Puer Aeternus For now I am learning attraction through my experiences, what girls respond to and what they don't respond to, I would say that it is a superficial game, but without understanding, without it I can't go to the next phase with a girl, first there needs to be attraction, before it leading anywhere else. As Lyubov said, after the first 15 mins you are either in or out of the fuckzone. 

Ahhhh I see! Yeah don't personally think I have the experience to help you much with that one! So I shall bow out!

BUT from how you've worked through this so far though?! I do generally get the vibe that you're going to figure this out, have a lived experience of what you want, and it's going to take you where you need to be. Learning from the trial erroring is truly the best 🤝