I want to hear a womans opinion

[Joshe]

1 minute ago, Olaf said:

@Joshe big dick privilege

😂

[Inliytened1]

4 minutes ago, Joshe said:

I found the key to make women like you is to actually listen so you can engage them in ways they've never been engaged before. But since you gotta big dick, maybe that makes up for it? lol 

Yeah but I'm gonna toss you a secret even Adyashanti can't give you.  If you listen one out of the five, when you actually do listen and seriously engage, they cream over it because you really leaned in.

Edited 10 hours ago by Inliytened1

[Joshe]

1 minute ago, Inliytened1 said:

Yeah but I'm gonna toss you a secret even Adyashanti can't give you.  If you listen one out of the five, when you actually do listen and seriously engage, they cream over it because you really leaned in.

Ahh yes!! Scarcity! There's actually something to that. 

Edited 9 hours ago by Joshe

[Inliytened1]

1 minute ago, Joshe said:

Ahh yes!! Scarcity! There's actually something to that. 

😀

[Inliytened1]

Where's the Aussie lately?

Edited 9 hours ago by Inliytened1

[Inliytened1]

8 minutes ago, Olaf said:

and if you have a tiny one you got to listen extra carefully 

😀😃 

[Inliytened1]

26 minutes ago, Olaf said:

and if you have a tiny one you got to listen extra carefully 

Hogwash. It's never tiny. Besides- you gotta get there before you even worry about that.  And if you get there in the first place..you probably have nothing to worry about.   Ask @Emerald

Edited 9 hours ago by Inliytened1

[Olaf]

@Inliytened1  I don't even know what your talking about hahaha

[Inliytened1]

1 minute ago, Olaf said:

@Inliytened1  I don't even know what your talking about hahaha

Yes you do.  Oh. You mean it's not tiny? Then you have nothing to worry about. Heck you don't even have to listen. 

Edited 9 hours ago by Inliytened1

[Olaf]

@Inliytened1 I guess you assume I am packing a tiny one, come and see for yourself 

[Inliytened1]

Just now, Olaf said:

@Inliytened1 I guess you assume I am packing a tiny one, come and see for yourself 

I updated my post..I caught on.  

[Inliytened1]

5 minutes ago, Olaf said:

@Inliytened1 I guess you assume I am packing a tiny one, come and see for yourself 

We got the legendary @Emerald to chime in now we need the Aussie. Maybe she found her rooster.

Edited 9 hours ago by Inliytened1

[Olaf]

@Inliytened1 I think we are making all the woman uncomfortable with all this dick talk 

[Inliytened1]

2 minutes ago, Olaf said:

@Inliytened1 I think we are making all the woman uncomfortable with all this dick talk 

All the women? How many do you see here anyway? They all went with the roosters. All kidding aside I don't wanna run the few here off.  So..yeah pipe it down Peter 😀

 

 

 

Edited 9 hours ago by Inliytened1

[Emerald]

43 minutes ago, Joshe said:

Never thought about it like that, but that tracks perfectly. There was a period in my life when I was involved in a social situation very similar sounding to yours, and shortly after that ended, I wound up in a bad group. I was getting girls in both situations but the first was effortless and the latter was much darker. In fact, mostly what led to the destruction of the healthy social group was me cheating on a girl in it with 8 other girls and then bragging to another dude about my "accomplishments", lol. There was abundance, then there was struggle. 

That is one of the drawbacks. You have to keep your reputation up in a social group, or you can end up with demerits against you.

Of course, cheating can do that. But also, behaviors that might work in pick-up can do that too.

Like, I knew a guy that was close friends with my closest guy friend. I'll call him Dan, but that's not his real name. And he wasn't a bad-looking guy. And he wasn't unkind or anything. Like, he was genuinely okay to be around in a social setting most of the time.

But he had a reputation of being "the guy who tries to get in everyone's pants." And this made him look kind of perverted and desperate.

And while he did get plenty of girlfriends and plenty of sex from some girls who would be judged in the wider circle as equally gross, he was a guy that most of the girls would get yucked out by and tell other girls to avoid. And girls would swap stories about him and his flirting attempts.

Contrast that with another guy named Randy who was very close friends with both my closest guy friend AND my then-boyfriend.

And he was probably equal in physical attractiveness to "Dan"... and (as a young guy, of course) he was very interested in girls. 

But he wasn't in the slightest bit pervy about it. And he'd just be a riot in all the social settings he was in... and tons of girls were always all over themselves about him, just because his behaviors weren't dictated by seeking any outcome other than having a good time and making sure others had a good time.

Like, he wasn't the slightest bit calculating about his actions from the outside. His behaviors were just unfiltered fun-seeking.

I remember the first time I met him through my then-boyfriend (who wasn't my boyfriend yet). 

He had an emo hair-cut at the time (it was 2005). And he was talking about how he had to have surgery to get a tumor removed from his chest. (He had breast cancer which is rare for a 16 year old male).

And then, he had the first line of a 50s song stuck in his head and he'd repeat it randomly at the funniest times. He'd just sing, "Drivin' around in my auto-mobile!"

And he had such a unique personality and was always the life of the party... and just overall a really good guy. 

So, he was always very popular with the girls (very attractive and discerning ones too)... and well liked and respected by pretty much everyone. 

But he'd always just have one girlfriend at a time, despite his abundance of options. And he's been with his current partner for like 15+ years now. 

So, if you have a social circle that really appreciates the way that you are where you're very well-respected, it can lead to a ton of opportunities to meet women in shared social spaces.

[Olaf]

@Emerald 2005 damn I was 6 years old. It sounds like you're still in love with him. I guess social circle really works then. Its so much work to create a new social circle, but maybe it is worth it. 

[Inliytened1]

18 minutes ago, Emerald said:

That is one of the drawbacks. You have to keep your reputation up in a social group, or you can end up with demerits against you.

Of course, cheating can do that. But also, behaviors that might work in pick-up can do that too.

Like, I knew a guy that was close friends with my closest guy friend. I'll call him Dan, but that's not his real name. And he wasn't a bad-looking guy. And he wasn't unkind or anything. Like, he was genuinely okay to be around in a social setting most of the time.

But he had a reputation of being "the guy who tries to get in everyone's pants." And this made him look kind of perverted and desperate.

And while he did get plenty of girlfriends and plenty of sex from some girls who would be judged in the wider circle as equally gross, he was a guy that most of the girls would get yucked out by and tell other girls to avoid. And girls would swap stories about him and his flirting attempts.

Contrast that with another guy named Randy who was very close friends with both my closest guy friend AND my then-boyfriend.

And he was probably equal in physical attractiveness to "Dan"... and (as a young guy, of course) he was very interested in girls. 

But he wasn't in the slightest bit pervy about it. And he'd just be a riot in all the social settings he was in... and tons of girls were always all over themselves about him, just because his behaviors weren't dictated by seeking any outcome other than having a good time and making sure others had a good time.

Like, he wasn't the slightest bit calculating about his actions from the outside. His behaviors were just unfiltered fun-seeking.

I remember the first time I met him through my then-boyfriend (who wasn't my boyfriend yet). 

He had an emo hair-cut at the time (it was 2005). And he was talking about how he had to have surgery to get a tumor removed from his chest. (He had breast cancer which is rare for a 16 year old male).

And then, he had the first line of a 50s song stuck in his head and he'd repeat it randomly at the funniest times. He'd just sing, "Drivin' around in my auto-mobile!"

And he had such a unique personality and was always the life of the party... and just overall a really good guy. 

So, he was always very popular with the girls (very attractive and discerning ones too)... and well liked and respected by pretty much everyone. 

But he'd always just have one girlfriend at a time, despite his abundance of options. And he's been with his current partner for like 15+ years now. 

So, if you have a social circle that really appreciates the way that you are where you're very well-respected, it can lead to a ton of opportunities to meet women in shared social spaces.

All of this is nice. But you really hint at social acceptance here. And literally none of that matters.  The guy getting a million girls where everyone was skeezed out by may be just as happy now as your Randy. It doesn't matter what those people thought.  I'm not justifying either way- I'm just trying to tell you the social circles aren't what makes you happy.  Or what justifies anything.   Maybe he came around to be a great guy to someone.  

Edited 9 hours ago by Inliytened1

[Joshe]

10 minutes ago, Emerald said:

He'd just sing, "Drivin' around in my auto-mobile!"

My baby beside me at the wheel. lol

But yeah, there were guys like that in my group as well and even ones that weren't particularly attractive were getting good-looking girls. The "how" was obvious: because how fun/interesting they were. 

As an introvert, those guys kinda gave me permission to come out of my shell and have the courage to play around be goofy, and to my surprise, it worked. 

[Inliytened1]

8 minutes ago, Joshe said:

My baby beside me at the wheel. lol

But yeah, there were guys like that in my group as well and even ones that weren't particularly attractive were getting good-looking girls. The "how" was obvious: because how fun/interesting they were. 

As an introvert, those guys kinda gave me permission to come out of my shell and have the courage to play around be goofy, and to my surprise, it worked. 

In a social circle like she is depicting, you are dammed if you do and dammed if you don't.  If you're the cool guy, you're an asshole. If you're the dork, you're getting nothing. No attention. Notice because she said Randy had the same looks as this other guy.  But if you're Randy. It's stars.  How is that fun.  Does only Randy get to live happily ever after.  Now.  That's why social perception is a bunch of bullshit. I bet there were plenty of guys like Randy who never got the attention  because they didn't have the looks or the talk.

Edited 8 hours ago by Inliytened1

[Emerald]

8 minutes ago, Joshe said:

My baby beside me at the wheel. lol

But yeah, there were guys like that in my group as well and even ones that weren't particularly attractive were getting good-looking girls. The "how" was obvious: because how fun/interesting they were. 

As an introvert, those guys kinda gave me permission to come out of my shell and have the courage to play around be goofy, and to my surprise, it worked. 

That's exactly how he made everyone he was around feel. He kind of brought the party to life.