indirect communication

[Olaf]

Coming from the Netherlands, we value direct communication. We are famous for saying things as they are. Whether it is ugly, beautiful, or anything in between, we don't care if we come across as rude, as long as we are honest. Yet I have found this approach to be quite ineffective and, honestly, a bad way to communicate. Imagine if you said everything directly. Instead of hopping on a sales call for an hour or so, you would just have someone tell you in the first minute, "This is the product, this is how much it costs, are you in or not?" It would be an awful way to conduct a sales call. Even calling it a sales call would be too direct; you call it a discovery call, a free coaching session, or whatever.

The opposite of the Dutch, who are very direct, are the Brazilians, who are about as indirect as can be. I think that is why many people find them attractive, because they are flowy, go with the flow, and don't say, "BUY THIS NOW." They slowly get to the point. The only problem with being indirect is if you never get to the point. Imagine a sales call that lasted 15 hours before you ever offered your product. That wouldn't be good either, so I guess there is a balance. At some point, you need to get to the point. Another thing I was thinking about was dogs, lol. They don't just hump each other. They sniff, they play, they become friends, and the male dog might try to show off his dominance by barking or whatever. After enough sniffing each other and playing, they go for it.

Being social is all about being indirect, in my opinion. The idea that being social is therefore dishonest could also be a question to be raised, because you are basically delaying the actual intention behind why you started the conversation. Now, of course, if you have no agenda in the first place, then it is honest because you are not trying to lead it anywhere. But if you have some form of agenda, which I think every sales call and every conversation with a beautiful girl kind of has, then the more indirect you are, the more, in that sense, you are being dishonest. Yet if you are very direct, this doesn't work well, isn't a good approach, and isn't very social.

These are just some thoughts I had today. I thought sharing them would be interesting, and I'd also like to hear what you guys think.

[Miguel1]

If men were fully direct, they would walk up to a random girl and ask straight for sex. Instead they have to play games for hours to get some poon.

Game was developed precisely because that direct and honest communication doesn’t work. Girls (a lot of them) love to chase, they want to feel like sex is a win for them, understandably. Granted, many girls also are seriously looking for relationships and doesn’t want to entertain hook ups.

On top of that, there’s a million social games and rules you gotta play because of social programming, ego, traumas, and cultural unconsciousness — otherwise you are seen as a weirdo or crazy.

We all know this, when we spend time with our families.

Socializing is monkey games, and dishonest. We are hundreds of years away from honest socializing.

Edited 9 hours ago by Miguel1

[Butters]

8 hours ago, Miguel1 said:

Instead they have to play games for hours to get some poon.

Not my experience. My quickest win came at a club where I grabbed a girls hand, we made out and then she asked your place or mine. Was like 5 minutes tops. 

Other times it was more like tinder dates but I never saw that as playing games for hours, just a date. 

What you're describing is inauthentic game, I don't think it should feel like a struggle. But tbh I haven't done a lot of pickup. 

Edited 1 hour ago by Butters

[Miguel1]

@Butters You contradict yourself.

Of course there are exceptions, especially when it comes to drunk horny girls at the end of the night.

[Olaf]

@Butters Probably you were having fun and in flow state, but just cause that happend one time that quick, doesn't mean it happens all the time and everywhere. Don't forget that a club is very different then during the day where people are sober and make more rational decisions than getting carried away in the moment. Also you said it happend one time, does it happen every night? Don't think so.