happiness

[Judy2]

2 minutes ago, Ziran said:

May I change the subject?

yes of course:)

[Judy2]

3 minutes ago, Ziran said:

The trauma I'm referring to can't be cured.  Yes, it's remembered.  It's like an engraving.  Even if it's repaired, it's still there in the background.  Nothing changes it.

May I change the subject?

maybe it's not anxiety?  maybe it's adjacent?   Avoidant?  

It seems to be a sort of "open-secret".  You're not happy?  At home?

i'm working on it.  

2 hours ago, Ziran said:

 just staying busy, busy...  if the over-use of a coping mechanism is contributing, it's not a disorder.  It's perfectly natural.  I quoted that part because, if I recall, you've mentioned the chores and mindless tasks in prior posts.

i'd forgotten about it but it's true. always being busy/productive is tempting because i'm not enough yet, so at least i want to feel like i could become  enough.  maybe i should slow down a little and allow myself to be more.

[Judy2]

1 minute ago, Judy2 said:

i'd forgotten about it but it's true. always being busy/productive is tempting because i'm not enough yet, so at least i want to feel like i could become  enough.  maybe i should slow down a little and allow myself to be more.

that's confusing though, because we never really stop becoming. being is becoming. but it's still very easy to forget to be in the middle of it.