Doing Day Game in Small City is Demoralizing

[Miguel1]

I might miss some context with Valach and LordFall, but I don’t see an issue with girls you don’t find attractive to practice your social skills, as long as you don’t lead them on.

There is no need to hurt anyone while practicing your skills. You can always make friends with them. And if you wanna practice your attraction generating skills with not attractive girls, then just come up with an excuse later that doesnt hurt them:

”I really enjoyed your company but I want to be honest with you, upon thinking further, right now I am seeing a girl with whom things are getting a bit too serious for me to see other girls and feel good about myself”.

You are never going to be perfectly 100% ethical and selfless in this world. Just you existing will cause other forms to disappear.

[Valach]

1 hour ago, Miguel1 said:

I might miss some context with Valach and LordFall, but I don’t see an issue with girls you don’t find attractive to practice your social skills, as long as you don’t lead them on.

I think we missunderstood each other. I assumed (wrongly) that he is suggesting to try to flirt with woman you are not interested in the first place. I met guys who just practiced game by running it on everyone no matter if they were interested or not. Which fundamentally is missunderstanding of social dynamics in the first place and also unethical in my opinion.
 

 

1 hour ago, Miguel1 said:

There is no need to hurt anyone while practicing your skills. You can always make friends with them. And if you wanna practice your attraction generating skills with not attractive girls, then just come up with an excuse later that doesnt hurt them:

”I really enjoyed your company but I want to be honest with you, upon thinking further, right now I am seeing a girl with whom things are getting a bit too serious for me to see other girls and feel good about myself”.

You are never going to be perfectly 100% ethical and selfless in this world. Just you existing will cause other forms to disappear.

Of course you can't be purely good in this world. But you can do as much as you can to prevent it. Maybe starting with this approach right here. Woman are not objects to practice our social/seduction skills on them. Approach only if you really want to meet her. Of course, no problem just generally socializing with woman you are not attracted to, but be mindful of your intention and the way your actions impact others.

 

Edited 10 hours ago by Valach

[Miguel1]

24 minutes ago, Valach said:

Of course you can't be purely good in this world. But you can do as much as you can to prevent it. Maybe starting with this approach right here. Woman are not objects to practice our social/seduction skills on them. Approach only if you really want to meet her. Of course, no problem just generally socializing with woman you are not attracted to, but be mindful of your intention and the way your actions impact others.

This is ideal. But you don’t understand how bad it is for some guys starting out. Have empathy for them, at least they are trying.

For guys that are struggling heavily, it can be impossible to practice on girls they find attractive as first step. Later on, of course they should do that.

I see not much harm created if you practice approaching and initial stage of conversation with a non attractive girl, and even taking their phone number. If you take them on multiple dates, then there’s too much harm, yes.

[Valach]

12 minutes ago, Miguel1 said:

This is ideal. But you don’t understand how bad it is for some guys starting out. Have empathy for them, at least they are trying.

For guys that are struggling heavily, it can be impossible to practice on girls they find attractive as first step. Later on, of course they should do that.

I see not much harm created if you practice approaching and initial stage of conversation with a non attractive girl, and even taking their phone number. If you take them on multiple dates, then there’s too much harm, yes.

Then get into situation that you meet sufficient amount of attractive (for you) woman. Like you don't need to go around approaching 20 woman if you do not like 18 of them. Just approach the two you like. It's simple.

Edited 9 hours ago by Valach

[Miguel1]

39 minutes ago, Valach said:

Then get into situation that you meet sufficient amount of attractive (for you) woman. Like you don't need to go around approaching 20 woman if you do not like 18 of them. Just approach the two you like. It's simple.

Have you heard of anxiety?

Even someone who hasn’t dealt with anxiety in years, I can still remember how bad it is.

Edited 9 hours ago by Miguel1

[Valach]

14 minutes ago, Miguel1 said:

Have you heard of anxiety?

Even someone who hasn’t dealt with anxiety in years, I can still remember how bad it is.

Of course I have. I still have anxiety when talking to a woman I like. Nothing wrong with that.
 

Like if you "need" to talk to a lot of woman to get in state to feel worthy of the attention you want from attractive woman (which is in itself a flawed inner game), build a momentum by talking to people in friendly way or just find places (like night clubs) where there are a lot of woman you are attracted to.

Edited 8 hours ago by Valach

[Miguel1]

1 minute ago, Valach said:

Of course I have. I still have anxiety when talking to a woman I like. Nothing wrong with that.

Yes, but some guys have extreme level of that.

[Valach]

1 minute ago, Miguel1 said:

Yes, but some guys have extreme level of that.

Sorry, I responded in the edit in the above comment.

Generally speaking I do not believe that trying to seduce woman you are not attracted to will help you with anxiety. This is inner game issue.

[Miguel1]

1 minute ago, Valach said:

Generally speaking I do not believe that trying to seduce woman you are not attracted to will help you with anxiety. This is inner game issue.

Generally speaking, taking action is a more efficient way to improve inner game. 

[Valach]

7 minutes ago, Miguel1 said:

Generally speaking, taking action is a more efficient way to improve inner game. 

Taking right, aligned action, yes. I do not think flirting with woman you do not like is part of that.  But taking action is just part of inner game.

I am quite radical but I believe most people who enter in pickup should get through quite a lot of therapy as well.

Edited 8 hours ago by Valach

[Miguel1]

4 hours ago, Valach said:

I am quite radical but I believe most people who enter in pickup should get through quite a lot of therapy as well.

Correct.

But again, for an extremely hard case, giving them a practice of asking someone for the time or direction, is crucial part of his journey.

Did he really need help with time or direction? No.

[Valach]

1 hour ago, Miguel1 said:

Correct.

But again, for an extremely hard case, giving them a practice of asking someone for the time or direction, is crucial part of his journey.

Did he really need help with time or direction? No.

Sure. But you know there is some context difference between this. You asking for time, even if not honestly, will not trigger some emotional reaction from the other side unlike with flirting etc. It is basic empathy, really. 

[Miguel1]

1 hour ago, Valach said:

Sure. But you know there is some context difference between this. You asking for time, even if not honestly, will not trigger some emotional reaction from the other side unlike with flirting etc. It is basic empathy, really. 

It is just some harmless flirtin. It happens all the time. You are making too big of a deal out of it.

Getting a girl’s number doesn’t mean anything, especially if the guy is new to game, he most likely won’t be getting any solid numbers anyway.

[Valach]

14 minutes ago, Miguel1 said:

It is just some harmless flirtin. It happens all the time. You are making too big of a deal out of it.

Getting a girl’s number doesn’t mean anything, especially if the guy is new to game, he most likely won’t be getting any solid numbers anyway.

If it is in a nightclub setting, then yea, whatever. Daygame approaches are definitely not some harmless flirting, specially when you get her number. I have heard numerous times of woman being disappointed by the guy not reaching out. And that also translates back into dating scene maybe by them becoming more closed off and that sort of thing.

I propose to be more intentional around dating and meeting people.

General good rule of thumb to ask yourself in such situations is: "Will my action increase or decrease the amount of 'goodness' in the world".

You yourself complain a lot about the low consciousness and "gamey" nature of socialization. Yet here you are, defending it.

Edited 1 minute ago by Valach