10 years of dating advice in one minute - Mark Manson

[enchanted]

this is good advice...enjoy!

[Ulax]

Good tips, but Mark conveniently leaves out the pick up journey he went on to be able to have a very good dating life.

[enchanted]

1 hour ago, Ulax said:

Good tips, but Mark conveniently leaves out the pick up journey he went on to be able to have a very good dating life.

Very true. It may seem like an oversight I don't think so. The reason it's not mentioned is because relationships and pick up are way different. 

Relationships are easy to get into but pick up is hard. Pick up is about quality, quantity, and speed. Whereas the average person stumbles into relationships all the time. 

An average guy should have no problem finding an average girl to form a relationship with. The problem is when average guys tries to get the top 1% of women through the promise of pick-up.

Edited 13 hours ago by enchanted

[Valach]

29 minutes ago, enchanted said:

Very true. It may seem like an oversight but the truth is relationships and pick up are way different.

Relationships are easy to get into but pick up is hard. Pick up is about quality, quantity, and speed. Whereas the ugliest and dumbest people stumble into relationships all the time. 

Pickup is almost an anti thesis of good relationships.

Edited 12 hours ago by Valach

[enchanted]

59 minutes ago, Valach said:

Pickup is almost an anti thesis of a good relationships.

For sure. It's not a coincidence there is a whole industry around it that has a reputation for being toxic.  

@Ulax ths only "pick up" advice people need is have somewhat good small talk/conversation skills and just enough self confidence to ask to hang out again somewhere. 

Edited 12 hours ago by enchanted

[Ulax]

7 hours ago, enchanted said:

Very true. It may seem like an oversight I don't think so. The reason it's not mentioned is because relationships and pick up are way different. 

Relationships are easy to get into but pick up is hard. Pick up is about quality, quantity, and speed. Whereas the average person stumbles into relationships all the time. 

An average guy should have no problem finding an average girl to form a relationship with. The problem is when average guys tries to get the top 1% of women through the promise of pick-up.

I get where you're coming from. For example, pickup is based around having success in casual dating usually over a one or two night period, and relationships over a much longer period and there are many more serious parts to it.

However, every relationship also has a beginning period. A first meeting. A first date. And pickup is all about making that first period go really, really well. And making that first period go so well, means you have MANY more options, and are able to choose someone who is more of an actual match.

[Ulax]

5 hours ago, enchanted said:

For sure. It's not a coincidence there is a whole industry around it that has a reputation for being toxic.  

@Ulax ths only "pick up" advice people need is have somewhat good small talk/conversation skills and just enough self confidence to ask to hang out again somewhere. 

Conversational skills are part of pick up for sure. 

But that isn't enough, you also need to know how to make things man to women for example.

[Basman]

Relationships and pick-up are different skillsets, but it's funny going "adress me 🐘" to the former pick-up guy. They won't let you get away with going normie.

[LordFall]

9 hours ago, enchanted said:

For sure. It's not a coincidence there is a whole industry around it that has a reputation for being toxic.  

@Ulax ths only "pick up" advice people need is have somewhat good small talk/conversation skills and just enough self confidence to ask to hang out again somewhere. 

This is a delusional mindset. Everything that's counter-culture has a bad reputation by definition. 

Pickup is a wide industry as well. Plenty of pickup coaches talk about relationship game as one of the most important things to master so you don't fuck it up with your actual wife when you get one. 

They talk about it in this polygyny conversation here at 4m40 seconds : 

 

[Joseph Maynor]

It is funny just how much being respectful works. 

[LordFall]

7 minutes ago, Joseph Maynor said:

It is funny just how much being respectful works. 

I don't think it worst very well, most men are respectful by default and have mediocre dating lives and can't attract a woman that they don't know to save their life. 

That's the whole idea of the blue pill vs the red pill. Men offering the bare minimum which is having a job and being nice to women doesn't really work that well because the marketplace has globalized in competition and increased in complexity. 

Edited 2 hours ago by LordFall

[Joseph Maynor]

3 minutes ago, LordFall said:

I don't think it worst very well, most men are respectful by default and have mediocre dating lives and can't attract a woman that they don't know to save their life. 

That's the whole idea of the blue pill vs the red pill. Men offering the bare minimum which is having a job and being nice to women doesn't really work that well because the marketplace has globalized in competition and increased in complexity. 

It helps to be more mature as a guy.  But you need to balance that with being respectful.  

[LordFall]

Do you find yourself attracting particularly beautiful and overall high quality women? 

[Joseph Maynor]

1 minute ago, LordFall said:

Do you find yourself attracting particularly beautiful and overall high quality women? 

Use your direct experience.  

[LordFall]

Yes that's what I said. In my direct experience what you're saying is not true and idealism. 

[Joseph Maynor]

1 minute ago, LordFall said:

Yes that's what I said. In my direct experience what you're saying is not true and idealism. 

Don't worry about what I say.  Just strike up a conversation with people.  

[LordFall]

Yeah I mostly figured out what I wanted to in terms of attracting women. I'm just correcting what you're saying because it sounds misleading to other people. 

[Joseph Maynor]

Just now, LordFall said:

Yeah I mostly figured out what I wanted to in terms of attracting women. I'm just correcting what you're saying because it sounds misleading to other people. 

The first step is approach with conversation.  

[LordFall]

Sure but by approaching and being respectful I doubt you'll even hook a woman on the street without being particularly charismatic.

I think at like a work function or speed dating event that advice could be sufficient but even then you have to be charismatic and interesting otherwise you'll bore an attractive woman with options and only get the more desperate ones. 

[Joseph Maynor]

Just now, LordFall said:

Sure but by approaching and being respectful I doubt you'll even hook a woman on the street without being particularly charismatic.

I think at like a work function or speed dating event that advice could be sufficient but even then you have to be charismatic and interesting otherwise you'll bore an attractive woman with options and only get the more desperate ones. 

My goals are to meet people I resonate with.  But sometimes I approach people who have different agendas.  And we might come around to like each other too.