Should I Leave a Loving Relationship for Growth and Intellectual Compatibility?

[Jirh]

22 minutes ago, LordFall said:

Now make some money and you can afford to settle down with all of them.

For many things, but this is the highlight of insanity.

No quality woman who respects herself will accept this.

[LordFall]

11 minutes ago, Jirh said:

For many things, but this is the highlight of insanity.

No quality woman who respects herself will accept this.

Why not? There are plenty of polyamorous couples raising kids. It has issues and sometimes people breakup but so do monogamous relationships. Its a new relationship paradigm and most people don't have the emotional intelligence for this but it totally works.

An easy way to look at it is most bisexual women would at least consider the idea. Most of them are probably too jealous to make it work but if they have a pleasant time dating you and you have good conflict resolution and communication skills I think probably 25% of them would be down. Maybe more. 

According to Gallup 7% of women are bisexual but according to Gen-z surveys it's more like 16% which matches up to the around 19% of women that report having had sex with another woman. 25-35% of women report being mostly heterosexual as opposed to fully straight.

So you'd end up like 2-10% of all women that would fit a dynamic like this. If your money is really good perhaps even straight women would be down so raise the percentage even more. 

That's why being in abundance is important, both to open your mind to different fun lifestyles that are possible but also even when your eyes are opened you need to be able to attract a wide number of women to screen for the ones that are most compatible for your desired life long term.  

Edited 1 hour ago by LordFall

[integral]

1 hour ago, LordFall said:

What's your MBTI type we clearly have vastly ways of seeing the world. I like to quantify things otherwise we are talking about vague generalities with no way of knowing if we're talking about the same thing. 

INTJ

1 hour ago, LordFall said:

This is a very straightforward statement. If you feel like your partner is 10/10 then you've won. Has nothing to do with what you're owed it's about the vision you have for your life. Some people have different requirements for their perfect 10

No it's not straightforward, it's loaded with a worldview and values. 

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but if your suggestion is that if you find a 7/10 relationship you should be happy then you're coping. 

Coping with what? There was never a vision for a perfect relationship because they don't exist, and I have other things I find far more important to focus on 

It's easy to find people you're compatible with and then after that it's just a relationship. And you have to live a life.

And living that life won't be some Disney story miracle. Living a life is hard.

1 hour ago, LordFall said:

I'm not new to self-development I've been doing this for over a decade.

I was a chess master by the age of 12. I figured out self-development in elementary school.

 

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I think you should find your 10/10 woman no matter what it takes. Then you find another 10/10 and fuck them both at once. Now you're at 20/10. Now you meditate on your life journey and you are grateful that the universe has such abundant blessings, now you're feeling 30/10. Now you work on your business and make a lot of money so you date them both and impregnate them both, now you're at a 50/10. Then you create social circles all around the world so you're not limited to one city and have both more sensual opportunities but really social and business connections throughout many countries, now now you're at 70/10. Why settle for a 7/10 relationship when you can have a 70/10 one? 

I'm exaggerating a bit(but not really this is my legitimate goal) to paint a picture but you get the point.

Okay so you have an extremely specific vision and now you're going to do everything you can to actualize it.

Why did you invent this vision?

Edited 1 hour ago by integral

[LordFall]

32 minutes ago, integral said:

INTJ

No it's not straightforward, it's loaded with a worldview and values. 

Coping with what? There was never a vision for a perfect relationship because they don't exist, and I have other things I find far more important to focus on 

It's easy to find people you're compatible with and then after that it's just a relationship. And you have to live a life.

And living that life won't be some Disney story miracle. Living a life is hard.

I was a chess master by the age of 12. I figured out self-development in elementary school.

 

Okay so you have an extremely specific vision and now you're going to do everything you can to actualize it.

Why did you invent this vision?

That makes sense I feel like I understand you better. INTJs are usually skeptical of INTP ideas because INTPs rely on intuition and leave like 30% of the plan in the air.

I would just say that I think chess is solid in terms of mastering pattern recognition perhaps even logic/reasoning but I don't know that I would draw a direct parallel to it. The main categories that are generally used are wealth, health, love and happiness. You can subdivide them into a lot of things but social development is a massive category of both wealth and love. As in having strong relationships that fulfill your goals in your personal life but also in terms of your impact on society and the world.

For me I'd say I became really results oriented after I became a top 0.01% challenger player in League of Legends. I was bad at the game before and then I read a forum post in like 2011 that just said most people think they are good or decent at the game and that holds them back a lot. They are actually shit at the game and when you realize that you can start to improve. That really changed my mindset because in LoL there is a victim mindset concept called ELO hell where basically people believe their team is holding them back because it's a 5v5 game but it actually makes no sense because you can have 4 bad players on your team but 5 on the other ones so if you're better than people you climb easily.

I then started being an ELO booster so getting played to improve people's rankings and I thought the psychological phenomenon was very strange but it's really everywhere in real life. If you make most things a skill ladder then most people think they are way higher than they are. When I was in high school I read a lot of pickup forums and when I was 19 I started taking seriously and you see the same thing there. People think they are high value dudes and can get hot girls and then get their egos crushed when they go to the club and either can't muster up the courage to go up to a girl or even when they do they get rejected and can't even attract women they're not attracted to.

The more I improved myself in that regard the cooler opportunities I got and the more obvious these concepts became to me. One that stands out in terms of status is in 2022 for my birthday my roommate that's a club promoter had a booth at rebel the biggest club in Canada and one guy took a group of hot girls brought them up on the booth and said hey this is Kyle he's a really cool dude you should makeout with him and the hottest girl in the group madeout with me within like 10 seconds. I was doing a lot of cold approach at that time and never had those results that quickly and definitely not with a girl that hot.

So if you've never had a pickup journey and even if you had but haven't played around with social circle/social media and fame game you can't understand the power it has. You will have the hottest women in the world be super down to fuck you pretty quickly. So when I read guys say that it's not a real thing, or shallow or just manipulation I think they don't understand how this works and have probably never tried themselves. A lot of times you can make it pretty binary if your dream women were stuck in a closet with you would they have the time of their life or have a traumatic experience and often times the answer is obvious. 

So when OP talks about getting a nice decent relationship but not being satisfied with it my answer is gonna be obviously bro you gotta go on the full journey it's so worth it. 

 

[integral]

35 minutes ago, LordFall said:

i would just say that I think chess is solid in terms of mastering pattern recognition perhaps even logic/reasoning but I don't know that I would draw a direct parallel to it.

The reason I said that was because for a child to become a chess master takes a massive amount of work in self development. I'm pointing to years of sustained continuous focus and effort in mastering one's own minds and application. Children are not doing this.

I'm talking about unlocking self development as a concept, understanding how to apply that to a larger domain of your life

Vast majority of people are not doing basic self development.

35 minutes ago, LordFall said:

So if you've never had a pickup journey and even if you had but haven't played around with social circle/social media and fame game you can't understand the power it has. You will have the hottest women in the world be super down to fuck you pretty quickly. So when I read guys say that it's not a real thing, or shallow or just manipulation I think they don't understand how this works and have probably never tried themselves. A lot of times you can make it pretty binary if your dream women were stuck in a closet with you would they have the time of their life or have a traumatic experience and often times the answer is obvious. 

So when OP talks about getting a nice decent relationship but not being satisfied with it my answer is gonna be obviously bro you gotta go on the full journey it's so worth it. 

The intoxicating effects of power.

 

Someone with power and Status gave you a hot girl to sit on your lap and have sex with. Obviously that's exciting, fun and intoxicating.

So you're addicted to this lifestyle and now your whole life purpose and vision is about it?

 

If you want to have a threesome that's perfectly fun and great but now you want to have two pregnant women? The real world requires actual responsibility and effort. You'll have to actually commit to these people and if they don't turn out to be the 10 out of 10 relationships that you want them to be there's no going back.

The real world of impregnating two hot girls in a polyamorous relationship is going to be very difficult. People are unstable, having relationships is hard enough as it is and you're making it out to be a fairy tale of power and ecstasy.

Edited 7 minutes ago by integral

[integral]

@LordFall are you implying that the reason I'm pointing to chess is because I think I'm now skilled in everything in life?

Why would I make that conflation?

This is what would have to happen give me the benefit of the doubt and assume I've been doing self development my entire life like you have.

So that we can have a proper conversation.

Reaching 0.01% at everything in life is a stage orange value.

Anyone can maximize any Dimension once they unlock basic self development in high Orange.

I view this as so natural and obvious it doesn't even have to be said.

Being able to master skills does not define you and your self-esteem and your entire Vision in life.

I view developing skills as Rudimentary, you have a goal you pursue it and you master it.

Edited just now by integral