Start Praising Good Forum Posts

[Mellowmarsh]

Zen isn’t about the false attributes of maya. It’s about doing away with all that shit staining drama.

 

 I’m loving being a nobody, nobody wants to be a nobody. That’s the problem. People prefer the lie to the actual raw unfiltered truth.

 

I’ll see my self out. Nat. Save you the bother of having to clean up this nasty shit. 

[enchanted]

1 hour ago, Mellowmarsh said:

 

 

Thanks for telling me I’m not good enough, and that I need help with that to get better. Thanks for not accepting me. And for thinking I’m bothersome. And thanks for telling me I’m nasty, and uncaring and disrespectful. It’s was very helpful of you to make that analysis on an online forum. You must feel so much better for helping me. I’m indebted to your humbling presence.

I thought you enjoyed "raw naked truth" 😉.

All kidding aside, I enjoyed the dialogue and interaction. What I've learned over the years is that we truly are all the same in so many ways.  Peace dude

[caspex]

Lmao I certainly appreciate the spice @Mellowmarsh you bring a very important point to light. Here's what I think

I do not advocate politeness, what I ask for is gratefulness and love. Politeness is not authentic when all you do is polish your words to make them sweeter. No, the point is living from a place of gratitude.. more importantly the embodiment of Love. This doesn't always mean sweet words.

One's words can be very rude at the surface but if one is embodying oneself from a place of Love that Love oozes out of their being.
In real life this Love can be detected through actions and tone. Even your very energy gives away the amount of love you embody despite how unpolished the words are. I love that authenticity, yet there is also a form of authenticity where the person isn't direct but rather playful. There words are not direct because their authentic Love manifests as feeling. There are many ways to express love and I commend you to pick one and are going with it Mellowmarsh.

The problem arises when we converse on an online forum. Here, much of the other cues are striped away. The only source for that Love to present itself is through words. Maybe not explicitly, but implicitly such as how much interest you show in somebody's idea. Your authenticity which may come off as rude precisely does so because there are no other cues present. This would be my guess if you are truly being authentic.

It is very important to note that if anybody reads this thread and decides to be more grateful, they do so from a place of genuine appreciation and not a place of sugarcoating.

When I say I love something, and when I say I appreciate something I mean it truly genuinely. These words I write here are exactly my authentic feelings. 

 

Quote

I would add that while silence can imply agreement, we also need to practice not automatically reacting to things we disagree with. This is a classic toxic parenting and leadership style where negative behavior is accidentally rewarded with attention. When a child or team member learns that acting out is the only way to get a response, they keep doing it. A good parent or leader intentionally reacts to good behavior with more enthusiasm and attention than bad. Perhaps this is a skill we can practice cultivating here so that this forum can become less toxic and also helps us be better members of our communities IRL. 

If we encourage good behavior, instead of ignore it, maybe by asking genuine questions, we get more of it and actually learn about where other users are coming from in greater detail. This is what collaborative and constructive group dynamics looks like. There's a great short book by an Australian author called The Advice Trap by Michael Bungay Stanier that talks about this I really liked.

@enchanted I agree with this. The main focus is group dynamics. Engaging with quality posts more often from a place of gratitude will encourage more quality posts. Even when I praise somebody I make sure the praise is real and not shallow. I do not praise people unless I feel they deserve it. The reason I did not praise people even when they deserved it earlier was because I did not operate from a place of love. When I see a person with a good outfit, I praise them because I genuinely mean it, not because praising them will gain me imaginary social points. Same with this forum. 

[enchanted]

33 minutes ago, caspex said:

 

@enchanted I agree with this. The main focus is group dynamics. Engaging with quality posts more often from a place of gratitude will encourage more quality posts. Even when I praise somebody I make sure the praise is real and not shallow. I do not praise people unless I feel they deserve it. The reason I did not praise people even when they deserved it earlier was because I did not operate from a place of love. When I see a person with a good outfit, I praise them because I genuinely mean it, not because praising them will gain me imaginary social points. Same with this forum. 

YES AND... I agree gratitude is great, I'd add that disagrement is also ok as long as it's done with respect and to clarify an area of contention so both parties can come away with more knowledge, perspective, and understanding. That's what stage yellow is. 

Otherwise right on my dude.  I feel like we are operating on similar wavelengths and glad you made this post. 

Edited 3 hours ago by enchanted

[Natasha Tori Maru]

I normally roll with "you are entitled to your opinion, but that doesn't mean it's free from critique" 

[Sincerity]

Let's not crap on a good thread guys. How about that?

It's a good insight. 😃 I try to do that.

It's very good practice overall when relating to people, especially e.g. in a romantic relationship.

[Mellowmarsh]

1 hour ago, enchanted said:

I thought you enjoyed "raw naked truth" 😉.

Not that you. Raw naked truth isn’t a truth belonging to a “ someone” 

 

Oh never mind.