Recent experience with embodiment

[caspex]

A few days ago I became lucid and as I did my daily upasana I had a crazy download. It thrust me into a state of non-doership and oneness.

This came after a long time of trying to embody my awakenings.

Only one thing ran in my mind at that moment, "The point of life is not to have fun, be peaceful, be joyful or self-mastery. The point of life is to be GOD." 

What being God meant to me was being a pure vessel, aligning yourself so deeply with God that all your actions happen in alignment with the world. I felt so happy but that wasn't the point, I felt so satisfied but that wasn't the point. The point was that I was GOD.

This lasted for two days. I lost all sense of social anxiety and procrastination. I was very productive, I took on new projects which I otherwise would have rejected. I was very extroverted, made new friends and had so much fun hanging out with a friend. In situations where I would have gotten angry I was very understanding. My friend told me later that he felt guilt at being so selfish about something after seeing me be selfless with him. It was like I had been drunk for two days. I was in heaven, I could lay down in the middle of the street and I wouldn't care man.

 

Yesterday morning I woke up as myself again. I tried getting back but I can't. I am not so productive once again. I haven't asked my deity to make me experience that again yet because I believe that was a gift to show me more. I am not sure what really happened. I feel this is a lighter version of how Krishna felt in his life. It was so fun, there was no internal resistance. Everything I did or thought of doing was so fun, yet fun wasn't the point, it was being God.

 What was especially crazy was I had insane amounts of synchronicity happen to me. I was luckier, or at least felt luckier. 

Is this a sign that I may be able to embody my awakenings soon or do I still have a long way to go? I really want to get back, or maybe that desire is what's stopping me.

[Breakingthewall]

On 15/6/2026 at 10:08 AM, caspex said:

The point of life is not to have fun, be peaceful, be joyful or self-mastery. The point of life is to be GOD." 

I would go further. The point of life is not to take but to give. I don't mean giving as do service and that but like the vector of yourself. If that vector is to inside, to take, you create division, and an ego who suffers lack. If the vector is outside, expansión, yo are one with the reality, the self image blurs and disappear and psychological suffering dissolves. 

Maybe what happened to you is that you adopted that vector for a couple of days and then you got back to your usual orientation, inside , taking, the default mode for any human nowadays 

Edited 12 hours ago by Breakingthewall

[caspex]

1 hour ago, Breakingthewall said:

I would go further. The point of life is not to take but to give. I don't mean giving as do service and that but like the vector of yourself. If that vector is to inside, to take, you create division, and an ego who suffers lack. If the vector is outside, expansión, yo are one with the reality, the self image blurs and disappear and psychological suffering dissolves. 

Maybe what happened to you is that you adopted that vector for a couple of days and then you got back to your usual orientation, inside , taking, the default mode for any human nowadays 

Can you elaborate on what you mean by giving the vector of oneself? 

And yes, I do think I embodied that for a while and came back, now it's hard to even get back. It's like I exhausted a muscle and can't even glimpse it again until I rest for a while. Normally I am able to enter these states on command within 2-5 minutes, but now I just can't.. or rather don't want to at all. It's like I have fatigued a muscle which is recovering.

Is this normal or does this actually mean I am missing something crucial and that my awakening is incomplete? I have never heard of somebody with the same problem, all I have ever heard of is people awakening to a deep enough degree that it alters their baseline permanently. I have been working steadily to raise my baseline instead. 

Edited 10 hours ago by caspex

[Carl-Richard]

I would guess the non-doership could deepen more until you get truly terrified that you are literally not moving or creating a single thing in your experience, just floating like an empty void passing through space, like something else is moving your body entirely. That would coincide with having to let go of yourself, being confronted with your non-existence.

Edited 9 hours ago by Carl-Richard

[Osaid]

23 minutes ago, Carl-Richard said:

I would guess the non-doership could deepen more until you get truly terrified that you are literally not moving or creating a single thing in your experience, just floating like an empty void passing through space, like something else is moving your body entirely.

The idea that you are moving your body is actually the same as the idea that something else is moving your body. The terror isn't of the body, it's the notion of something else. Letting go of the self would just be letting go of the notion entirely. The vacuum of doership doesn't need to be filled, just like Santa's position at his factory doesn't have to be filled when you realize he isn't there. The whole belief in the factory goes with it, just like doership.

Edited 9 hours ago by Osaid

[caspex]

1 hour ago, Carl-Richard said:

I would guess the non-doership could deepen more until you get truly terrified that you are literally not moving or creating a single thing in your experience, just floating like an empty void passing through space, like something else is moving your body entirely. That would coincide with having to let go of yourself, being confronted with your non-existence.

My actions felt like a rock by the side of road, indistinguishable from stillness. I remember being terrified once at my non-existence but in those two days something new happened.

Normally I'd be paralyzed at my non-existence, but in those two days actions happened, thoughts came about and the constructed self existed in heaven. However in each moment I was aware of non-existence and that the constructed self and the thoughts were simply part of the experience. What made this embodiment for me deeper was not only the performance of actions in an otherwise paralyzing state, but also the constant exploding fireworks in my heart for those two days. 

I did not have a head nor a body. I felt entirely non-human. I felt 3 layers of existence simultaneously in those 2 days.

1 - The constructed self, thoughts, body, emotions and mind. Heavily Purified due to a constant stream of energy to the heart
2 - Some unknown non-human self, not quite non-existence but pervading the experience thoroughly, existing in some weird fuzzy space
3 - Non-existence, the absolute truth.

[Breakingthewall]

8 hours ago, caspex said:

Can you elaborate on what you mean by giving the vector of oneself? 

And yes, I do think I embodied that for a while and came back, now it's hard to even get back. It's like I exhausted a muscle and can't even glimpse it again until I rest for a while. Normally I am able to enter these states on command within 2-5 minutes, but now I just can't.. or rather don't want to at all. It's like I have fatigued a muscle which is recovering.

The point is to experience a shift in your center. Normally, because we are social beings, we operate from a social perspective. We define ourselves as who we are in relation to others. It's not that we do it consciously, but rather that we function at that frequency absolutely all the time, and this creates a vector focused to inside, to feed your self image. 

If, through meditation, you begin to step outside of that context and truly perceive yourself as a process occurring in reality, you gradually shift your operational position. It's not that you mentally see yourself as a process, blah blah, but that you truly detach yourself completely from the social umbilical cord and see yourself as a manifestation occurring in the unfathomable abyss of existence, without foundation or knowledge. Without God or anything, total abyss.

This requires a detached and disruptive attitude. At a certain point, you begin to operate this way all the time, and then your psyche ceases to be self-referential and comparative and becomes expansive.

Edited 2 hours ago by Breakingthewall