Recent experience with embodiment

[caspex]

A few days ago I became lucid and as I did my daily upasana I had a crazy download. It thrust me into a state of non-doership and oneness.

This came after a long time of trying to embody my awakenings.

Only one thing ran in my mind at that moment, "The point of life is not to have fun, be peaceful, be joyful or self-mastery. The point of life is to be GOD." 

What being God meant to me was being a pure vessel, aligning yourself so deeply with God that all your actions happen in alignment with the world. I felt so happy but that wasn't the point, I felt so satisfied but that wasn't the point. The point was that I was GOD.

This lasted for two days. I lost all sense of social anxiety and procrastination. I was very productive, I took on new projects which I otherwise would have rejected. I was very extroverted, made new friends and had so much fun hanging out with a friend. In situations where I would have gotten angry I was very understanding. My friend told me later that he felt guilt at being so selfish about something after seeing me be selfless with him. It was like I had been drunk for two days. I was in heaven, I could lay down in the middle of the street and I wouldn't care man.

 

Yesterday morning I woke up as myself again. I tried getting back but I can't. I am not so productive once again. I haven't asked my deity to make me experience that again yet because I believe that was a gift to show me more. I am not sure what really happened. I feel this is a lighter version of how Krishna felt in his life. It was so fun, there was no internal resistance. Everything I did or thought of doing was so fun, yet fun wasn't the point, it was being God.

 What was especially crazy was I had insane amounts of synchronicity happen to me. I was luckier, or at least felt luckier. 

Is this a sign that I may be able to embody my awakenings soon or do I still have a long way to go? I really want to get back, or maybe that desire is what's stopping me.