My 12-Year-Old Cousin Seems to Be Giving Up on Life

[Monster Energy]

I really need some outside perspective on something that’s been on my mind for a while.

I have a 12-year-old cousin who I’m really worried about.

His parents are divorced and even though he loves both of them a lot the situation between them affects him quite badly. He feels like his mom sometimes tries to make up for emotional stuff with money or gifts but what he actually needs is more emotional support and someone who really understands him.

He loves his dad a lot too but his dad is very smart and puts a lot of focus on school results. My cousin is struggling in school and because of that he’s started to believe that his dad might stop loving him or think less of him if his grades don’t get better.

One thing that really hurts him is that he feels like he’s always the one who has to call his dad. He says his dad almost never calls him first and that makes him feel kind of forgotten or unimportant.

He also says he’s being bullied at school. People call him ugly fat and a lot of other mean stuff. The worst part is that it feels like he’s actually started believing it himself. His self-esteem is extremely low for a kid his age.

Socially he has a hard time too. He struggles to make friends and sometimes says the wrong things without meaning to. He hasn’t been diagnosed with autism or anything but there are some signs that make people wonder. Even so he’s honestly one of the kindest kids I know.

He really doesn’t like talking about feelings and gets upset or shuts down when the topic comes up so it’s hard to really understand what he’s going through.

Something else I should add is that he seems very attached to me. He often says that I’m the person who understands him the most and doesn’t judge him and that he feels safe talking to me. Because of that he wants to spend a lot of time with me and tends to stick very close to me whenever we are together.

Lately though what worries me the most is that he seems like he’s just giving up a bit. He talks like he doesn’t see a good future for himself anymore and he’s said things that make it sound like he thinks it would almost be better if he wasn’t here.

It’s really hard to see someone that young feel that way.

I guess what I’m asking is what can you actually do in a situation like this How do you help a kid who’s lost so much hope in himself and doesn’t really open up

Any advice would mean a lot!

 

[Sugarcoat]

Something needs to be done about the bullying at school. Unfortunately sometimes it’s the one being bullied that is forced to switch schools, but ideally the bullies and their parents should face the consequences instead. At that age it’s basically impossible to feel fine if you’re being bullied like that so it’s need change 

If it’s accurate description how the parents act then something needs to change there too. Seems he lacks healthy enough support and love from both parents . Being pushed to perform well in school while being bullied makes it seem like the father doesn’t even know what’s going on, becuase if he did why would he prioritize the grades . 
 

Besides from another adult communicating clearly with the parents, I can’t come up with more ideas now than getting help from the social services . Doesn’t necessarily have to end up in him being moved away from his parents, but maybe they could do something and make it clear to the parents that it’s a serious situation, sometimes the involvement of the social services can trigger people to think through things . I think

Since he feels good around you, you have opportunity to support him by spending time with him . But ofc you have to prioritize yourself too, so it’s just to the extent you feel works for you, but it’s kind of a short term thing that could help meanwhile the other stuff haven’t been solved yet , or if there is also someone else he feels good around. 

Also this is assuming that all the boy is saying is true, sometimes children can twist the truth, just putting that out there. 

Yea some thoughts. 

Edited 1 hour ago by Sugarcoat