Where Should I Work?

[Oso]

I tend to overthink a lot and therefore wish to not make this one of those times.

However, after some very big life changing events, I have come to find that one of the things that I really need to anchor me into life is an aligned place of work.

Specifically, I feel that I need a place where I can really weave into a social fabric. 

For example, I used to work at a gym when I was younger. After time, I came to know all of the regulars and really felt like I was at home. Now that such a place has been missing in my life for some time, I have realized just how important it is for my system.

At the end of the day, I like engaging in deeper socialization and relationship building. I’m sensitive, but I’m also relatively mature for my age (22). Take that with a grain of salt obviously.

Starting too young, I dug into a bunch of philosophy and spirituality and somewhere along the way, got caught in the exact trap I was trying to avoid with it. Long story short, I had a nervous system breakdown which was the result of a “dam” building for months, if not years.

That was some months ago now. I’m still rebuilding. I have had a job since then. It was at a cafe, however, it ended up being too overwhelming and fast paced for my system. I was let go and felt relieved about that. 

I have learned enough to know that what I need at this point in my life is that social hub I just talked about with the gym. Doesn’t have to be perfect. I know how problematic chasing that pot of gold is. 

But I DO need a place that I am aligned with. My pickiness is truly a thing, and though I tend to be resilient and moldable, I ultimately work best in a place that is aligned instead of just settling for somewhere that is enough. 

What I’m doing at said place doesn’t concern me as much as how I’m doing it, where, and with whom. I want to be around people like myself in a way. I’d really love to make friends and open myself to the ability of intimate connections. Again, a social web that is more than just casual and not stale with only the same people. 

I am at a point in life where those things are at the forefront of my desires. Not going after them is just foolish to me. Not that I’m even chasing, it is just a system necessity. 

So, yeah.

Basically, what places of work would you recommend? I’m not looking for any spiritual advice or anything. I have no interest in that at this time. 

If you have further questions that’d help extract further direction, feel free to ask. 

I will mention that I’m definitely one who tends to latch onto others for self-authority. It feels very comfortable for me to try and outsource my self to someone or something that feels “higher” up than I am in whatever way that might mean. Health, relationships, money, etc...

I suffered with this problem big time watching a lot of Leo’s videos late into my high school years. Yes, I did benefit in some fundamental ways from watching his content. However, I also, at some point, allowed indoctrination to set in. A big part of that came from listening to what he had to say, digesting it, but not actually acting on it.

Indoctrination is a strong word. I'm not accusing. What I'm saying is that I came to develop a subtle, quiet, but very strong mental framework of beliefs, ideas, visions, etc... 

A lot of that came from Leo's content, because I held it as THE highest content.  

Now? I’m dealing with the fallout of those mental frameworks. However, unlike before, they now no longer apply to me. My system rejects them and I see them for what they are. Simply enough, they just don't fit me. When they appear, it is now a deep rejection instead of a mental cushion.

(I mean no offense Leo. I appreciate what your work has done for me. Even the bad.) 

I only mean to say all of that as context so that I might receive better direction for you, or anyone who wishes to comment. 

I'm looking for places to work based on my specific desires and needs. That is the real question here. I have ideas and have applied to places, but I’d like outside perspective from people beyond myself, family, and AI.

I tried to lay out everything essential here on the table. 

Again, I’m an open book. I'm willing to discuss most things.

Feel free to ask. 

[Ampresus]

D'alright. I was in the same boat as you. Started watching Leo when I was young and am now around your age. Needed a social place to connect to people as well. Maybe I am not as traumatized as you, but different people respond differently to spirituality so that makes sense. 

I am currently 21 years old. To build my social life, I decided to join a BJJ gym. Not necessarily because I have a past in martial arts, but because I always fancied having a hobby that involved self-defense. Leo would perhaps call this just a Red peacocking contest, but for me it is much more than that. BJJ allows me to connect with my body in ways I never experienced from conventionally going to a gym. Besides, I find regular gyms to be terrible places to meet people. In BJJ we actually have to interact with our rolling partners. We start getting to know each other, share our strengths and weaknesses. Before you know it, they are asking you about some job you yapped about weeks ago or you remember that they have a daughter who is sick. BJJ genuinely saved my social life and I wouldn't trade it for anything because unlike a job, people come to the class to have fun. 

I have a job too, in customer service. The people are nice and I definitely can just behave and get along. Yet I feel like that core intimate connection that you seek, and I also seek, comes from a shared passion. Not necessarily just the right setting like a job could provide. For me that happens to be BJJ. Our martial arts gym also offers tons of other sports like boxing, muay thai, yoga, judo, karate etc. I also attend judo and stretching which allows me to meet even more new people. I absolutely love this gym because of its variety and different people you meet depending on the class. Definitely recommend picking up a hobby to meet people rather than trusting your job to provide it. 

Leo is indeed not the all knowing spiritual guru you and many others made him out to be. There are plenty of things he has been wrong about, but at least he himself can admit that too. I heavily disagree with any general health advice that he gives. I remember for the longest time how he would deny needing to go to a gym, because his diet alone would be enough to sustain his health. I have seldom heard something as ridiculous as that, but in the end he is still human. He also taught me self-inquiry, which throughout the years opened my crown chakra and gave me premonition. Since recently I can actually sense when something happens before it does, and frequently see visions of the future in my dreams. None of that would have been possible without him. 

Since I no longer see him as the holy grail, I shifted to Spiral Dynamics. Yellows teaches us that no system is perfect and integration is the fundamental challenge for longevity. See your life as a giant system. You need social connections to feel fulfilled, but you need isolatory spiritual work to become aware of God. This yin and yang is what all of life is about. You and I are still very young, we have plenty of time to discover whatever Leo discovered much later down the line. For now, enjoy your youth while you can. Finish school, set yourself up for a nice career, find a hobby you don't mind spending 10 years practicing, learn a language, go party, find love, travel,  keep learning and keep becoming aware. Life is not a rat race, contrary to what many people would like you to believe.

In January I went to Panama with my girlfriend. Not because we are drowning in money or because I know anyone from there, but because we are young. Now I can still enjoy the thrill of being far away from home, figuring everything out on my own and actually enjoy the beautiful beaches without nagging kids. Our last few days in Bocas del Toro we made some memories which I will forever cherish. I have never felt as free as I had on that trip.

Sincerely find what makes you tick. Try different hobbies. I tried hiphop dancing for a year before I changed it to BJJ. Everyone is different, but deep down you have always had some core interests which you never fulfilled. For me it was learning self-defense, what is it for you?

[Natasha Tori Maru]

When I was your age - I recall having many jobs and jumping often.

I knew many didn't fit. 

My only guiding force during this time was 'whatever I do, go hard or go home'. I never wanted to waste my time. So even when I worked a shit job, I worked to my own high standards, regardless of how I felt about the job and if I was proficient. Or if it was the right role or fit. I just made sure to go hard.

This ended up meaning I was always promoted up quickly.

Because of this, new connections opened. New job opportunities in different areas. I worked in fields that typically needed qualification, but this was disregarded due to aptitiude and work ethic. 

I ended up finding the right job for me this way.

Not saying what I did was correct. Not even sure that it will help; but even if you have a job that's temporary. That you know isn't a career yet. Work at it. Work hard at it. Speak your truth through action. Earnest, focussed, conscientious & diligent work will get you noticed, and open up doors you never thought possible. 

And just maybe - one of those doors will be the dream job.

So better do something while you figure it out, and go hard at it 👊

Edited yesterday at 11:01 AM by Natasha Tori Maru

[Jordan of the Shire]

Hello there fellow Oso

If you're interested in a safe method of practice, there's a method called Dissolve and it's taught by Andy Mack. If you're interested, see if that research gives you something safe and gentle to work with. It's what I've been focusing on and it's really helped.

It's hard to find the alignment. I understand. Takes time.

Take your time, have faith, believe in yourself, do your best, it's okay to fail. 

Consider what you value, put it down on paper, attach behaviors to those values, and then see where that could fit into a job. Then enjoy the process. 

Volunteering at a foodbank could build meaningful connections, or a book store, for calm yet meaningful conversation. A hobby craft store, or boardgame shop. Joining a yoga studio, or finding a hiking group. Social connection could come from your job or something you do recreationally.

Edited 18 hours ago by Jordan of the Shire