On my way to see my dying grandmother

[VioletFlame]

Hi everybody, I am currently on an 8 hr road trip from PA to Rhode Island to see my 96 yr old nana who is dying and in hospice now :'( she only has about a week left to live. I am hoping to spend as much time as possible with her during her final days. My nana was an enormous part of my childhood and my life. We did everything together. She taught me everything about good values and morals without even having to explain them, she simply demonstrated them to me consistently. I was so blessed and lucky to have her in my life. She was so special to me and they don't make them like her anymore. Idk what I would've done without her growing up and i'm going to miss her so, so much. I'm going to miss her company and our conversations so much. She represents a part of my childhood which was actually normal & healthy. She always encouraged me to be the best person I could be and to reach my fullest potential. I don't think I would have grown into the kind-hearted, loving, caring woman I believe myself to be without her and her influence. I am truly devastated and life won't be the same without her. I have a long trip ahead of me as the passenger, and it is currently snowing. I am hoping for safe travels. Please feel free to strike a convo, it would help a lot to feel connected to the community at this time or just to get this off my mind, even though that's virtually impossible. Thank you, everyone. 

Edited 19 hours ago by VioletFlame

[LordFall]

Death is an interesting adventure. Scary and calming at once I find. One mom died about 10 years ago that was the person closest to me that's died. Her situation was a bit difference since she died in her mid 40s due to a surgical complication. She ran a book club on the internet funny enough, I was into reading my whole life but started really getting into self-development after she passed, I ended up starting my own online book club. I wish I could've talked to her about some books I read.

I'm curious if your grandmother is at peace with death or wish she could live longer. If topic comes up and you get to ask her I'd be curious on what she says about it. Immortality is a topic of fascination to me, seems like death shouldn't be inevitable. So many things that are possible to experience in a lifetime. 

[VioletFlame]

@LordFall Oh I already know she is afraid of death, as we discussed the topic many times. And knowing that fact alone breaks my heart and worries me because I just want her to go with peace in her heart. Also, I'm sorry for your loss. 

Edited 17 hours ago by VioletFlame

[enzyme]

96 is a helluva lifetime 

From what you've shared, she sounds like she's been an excellent role model for you, that's really all you could ask for.

I'm sure you made her very proud, have a safe journey.

[bazera]

@VioletFlame 

Sorry to hear that.

Loss of loved one is one of the most painful experiences that one can go through, but also a great opportunity to derive important lessens on life such as impermanence, roles of attachment and loss, etc. It all plays out in real-time.

Stay strong 🙏🏻

I lost a father 2 years ago, he was quite young for an unexpected death, and I wasn't able to tell / show him my love the way I wanted. I'm sure your nana already knows that, but if you still have a week to be with her, talk and listen to what she has to say, that's a great opportunity to give much love for her future journey as she goes.

Is she able to listen and talk?

[Natasha Tori Maru]

Heya ❤️

I lost my grandfather in hospice - I stayed by his side for his passing. It was confronting.

He was the predominant male figure in my life. A fine artist who trained me in oils, watercolour, acrylic, pen on paper, pencil and charcoal. I had a creative bond with him in a way I will never have with another man.

His death was the most beautiful thing I have ever witnessed - only met by seeing the birth of my brother, in majesty.

There is so much stigma around death. It wasn't negative. He was purifying before my eyes at the end. The nurses in the hospice made sure he was comfortable. 

He came into such an intense state of being. He was vibrating as he passed. I don't know any other way to describe it. 

As much as his loss was a strike to my heart, I wouldn't have missed it for anything.

He responded to me right up until the end. He seemed to hear all. Your grandmother will love you being present. Love your warm hands on hers. Love the timber of your voice. 

I don't share my grandfather's passing to detract from your challenging time; merely to emphasis just how much this moment will be cemented as a gift in time for you and her to share.

Much love 

[cistanche_enjoyer]

I can recommend watching some of the videos about NDEs on this channel, they are absolutely beautiful and changed my perspective on death: