TRIGGER WARNING, Uncomfortable experience about Dating

[AION]

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

This is just not how most women behave. Women are loyal to a fault. You have to do something seriously off for a woman to replace you once she has fallen for you.

Your view of woman nature is highly biased and not representative. If you want to have healthy relations with women you need to deconstruct this warped, biased view of them. Or it will really fuck you up.

 

Who is going to tell him🤣

Quote

I have never had a problem with girlfriends being disloyal.

Because she couldn't get any better.

Hypergamy is hard wired in their biology for survival.

And it is not good or bad, it just is.

Edited 5 hours ago by AION

[Jannes]

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

This is just not how most women behave. Women are loyal to a fault. You have to do something seriously off for a woman to replace you once she has fallen for you.

Your view of woman nature is highly biased and not representative. If you want to have healthy relations with women you need to deconstruct this warped, biased view of them. Or it will really fuck you up.

I have never had a problem with girlfriends being disloyal.

I was always a feminist in my bones, thought they were the more ethical gender. I was always more comfortable around women, when men played ego games, women had emotional depth and maturity. I vibed more with them. 

When I first made the experience that a women would cheat with me or replace their bf with me I thought it was a rare case. She must have been in a toxic relationship, at a bad place emotionally, something like this ... so I could maintain my positive view of women. But this positive view of women I tried to maintain got broken again and again and again as I made more experiences to the point that I cant even picture a women who wouldnt cheat or replace her bf when the opportunity is great enough. I know ONE girl with such a character and I would marry her if she was my type physically. 

For my mental health I am biased towards seeing women as pure angels lol.

Not saying women just jump off the moment a better opportunity arises, but only because it takes a lot of time to built a relationship so the cost is too high oftentimes. 

[Jannes]

On 26.1.2026 at 11:58 PM, Joshe said:

My last gf sent me a letter in the mail to tell me she had met someone new (she was in rehab at the time - and yes, she left me for a junky, lol). I'll never forget reading the letter on the porch swing - sun was shining. I just smiled and felt relief, like a new man with the world as my oyster.

Thats beautiful and poetic in a way. Can relate. 

[nerdspeak]

@AION no they’re hard-wired to be loyal to their male partners to preserve group cohesion. If you want to use evolutionary psychology you should read actual evolutionary psychology, not online BS. 

Women (speaking generally) are almost as loyal as puppies. Of course if you abuse them or neglect them, gradually they’ll distance themselves and eventually move on. 

You might experience that as her not being supportive during a crisis, but looked at objectively, probably the crisis caused you to (emotionally) abuse or neglect her.

Of course, there are exceptions.    

Edited 4 hours ago by nerdspeak

[Jannes]

On 27.1.2026 at 9:52 AM, meta_male said:

Women cheat, men cheat, so how come YOU don't cheat? Can you see from that alone that there are women who don't cheat as well? Plenty of people have a secure attachment style, work towards developing that yourself. You definitely don't need an ego death for this.

Thats the thing, I was insane for not letting her cheat. I was basically accepting serious emotional pain, being alone without anyone holding me. Which I got. And I only made this decision because of some inner spiritual compass which guided me towards truth.

Afterwards it became effortless, but building that muscle was insane. 

On 27.1.2026 at 9:52 AM, meta_male said:

Learn to feel deeply without using other people to regulate and stabilize you, go to therapy if that's not otherwise possible, don't drag this step out forever. That alone will put you in a much better position to meet healthier people. You can't think your way out of your current worldview.

I have adhd, so much of it is genetic unfortunately. 

[Rishabh R]

@Jannes Suffering is inevitable in life no matter what you do . As per my experience as a 25 year old single and having been rejected by many girls (also seeing many relationships start and end in front of my eyes )you can improve your situation by asking yourself : What is the purpose of my suffering ?

Just a bit of emotional regulation here.😂

[Kid A]

39 minutes ago, nerdspeak said:

@AION no they’re hard-wired to be loyal to their male partners to preserve group cohesion. If you want to use evolutionary psychology you should read actual evolutionary psychology, not online BS. 

Women (speaking generally) are almost as loyal as puppies. Of course if you abuse them or neglect them, gradually they’ll distance themselves and eventually move on. 

You might experience that as her not being supportive during a crisis, but looked at objectively, probably the crisis caused you to (emotionally) abuse or neglect her.

Of course, there are exceptions.    

Exactly. This is perfectly explained in this episode of my favourite documentary series:

 

[Jannes]

28 minutes ago, Kid A said:

Exactly. This is perfectly explained in this episode of my favourite documentary series:

 

Seems very solid so far but a bit old ?

Edited 3 hours ago by Jannes

[Kid A]

16 minutes ago, Jannes said:

How old is this?

We have reached a few milestones in the meantime.

It’s 16 years old. On average, women have roughly the same amount of casual sex relative to men these days as they did around 2010, so I wouldn’t say the world has changed so much in that regard. 

[Jannes]

3 minutes ago, Kid A said:

It’s 16 years old. On average, women have roughly the same amount of casual sex relative to men these days as they did around 2010, so I wouldn’t say the world has changed so much in that regard. 

What I dont like about this video is the focus on biology. Its important yes, but it also gives explanation for why women would happily go for casual sex now. "Just sleep with Chad and get child support and get an ugly Cuck bf and you maximized your genetics." 

[Kid A]

39 minutes ago, Jannes said:

What I dont like about this video is the focus on biology. Its important yes, but it also gives explanation for why women would happily go for casual sex now. "Just sleep with Chad and get child support and get an ugly Cuck bf and you maximized your genetics." 

They’re not claiming that it’s all biological. The recurring theme of this documentary (including this episode) is more like correcting general false assumptions that some traits are 90–100% environmental and showing that the genetic component is often as much as 50% or even more.

Edited 2 hours ago by Kid A

[Jannes]

2 minutes ago, Kid A said:

They’re not claiming that it’s all biological. The recurring theme of this documentary (including this episode) is more like correcting general false assumptions that some traits are 90–100% environmental and showing that the genetic component is often as much as 50% or even more.

I am hearing that it is all biological

[AION]

2 hours ago, nerdspeak said:

@AION no they’re hard-wired to be loyal to their male partners to preserve group cohesion. If you want to use evolutionary psychology you should read actual evolutionary psychology, not online BS. 

Women (speaking generally) are almost as loyal as puppies. Of course if you abuse them or neglect them, gradually they’ll distance themselves and eventually move on. 

You might experience that as her not being supportive during a crisis, but looked at objectively, probably the crisis caused you to (emotionally) abuse or neglect her.

Of course, there are exceptions.    

You are in for a hard awakening 

[Kid A]

19 minutes ago, Jannes said:

I am hearing that it is all biological

Watch from 34:20. He says in the conclusion: "Even though culture undoubtedly has an effect, I find it unlikely that evolution only separated the genders with dissimilar genitals and not with a little dissimilar taste and psychology." The subtitles are not the best...

[Butters]

3 hours ago, Jannes said:

I know ONE girl with such a character and I would marry her if she was my type physically

Lol 😂 

[meta_male]

3 hours ago, Jannes said:

Thats the thing, I was insane for not letting her cheat. I was basically accepting serious emotional pain, being alone without anyone holding me.

You have integrity. I wouldn't let a girl cheat on her boyfriend with me, that's pathetic.

3 hours ago, Jannes said:

I have adhd, so much of it is genetic unfortunately. 

Most of my friends have ADHD, I myself probably have ADD. It doesn't matter though, you are not doomed.