Should I Break Up With My Girlfriend?

[Vali2003]

1 minute ago, Elliott said:

 

Ya, it sucks, REALLY sucks. And it's okay to be there for each other during it.

I feel, maybe I'd be able to do it now, knowing what to expect. But I would never want to go through that if it wasn't necessary or the right thing to do. Of course it's impossible to know  that with certainty.  

I find it mindblowing that most humans go through this pain of breaking up with their partner. It made me realize how much depth everybodies lives have.

[Elliott]

2 minutes ago, Vali2003 said:

I feel, maybe I'd be able to do it now, knowing what to expect. But I would never want to go through that if it wasn't necessary or the right thing to do. Of course it's impossible to know  that with certainty.  

I find it mindblowing that most humans go through this pain of breaking up with their partner. It made me realize how much depth everybodies lives have.

Most people just cheat or start a fight, to try to avoid the pain. You're a great person for not doing that, it's so loving to her and yourself.

Edited 6 hours ago by Elliott

[Salvijus]

It's not about what you want. It's about what Allah wants for you. Every other path is misery and suffering. 

Edited 6 hours ago by Salvijus

[Vali2003]

20 minutes ago, Salvijus said:

It's not about what you want. It's about what Allah wants for you. Every other path is misery and suffering. 

And how do I know what that is? Write an angry letter to God?

[Salvijus]

Just now, Vali2003 said:

And how do I know what that is? Write an angry letter to God?

(p0) Question: How do you know if you are truly being guided?

(p1) Answer: Indeed, beloved friend, this is a question of great importance, though think not that importance requires seriousness. Therefore, understand that as you seek to separate yourself from the roar and the din of the world, from the world mind, from the opinions of those around you, and seek to shift the momentum of the mind back toward the heart, toward the Kingdom of Heaven within you, toward that silence in which the Voice of the Comforter speaks, know well that the very first step is to begin at the end. By this we mean always — and never, ever fail to do this — always begin any such period of meditation or prayer by acknowledging the Truth that is true always, that transcends the shadows, the illusions, the misperceptions of the world. And that Truth is simply this: You cannot be less than what God has created you to be. Separation from God does not exist. And if you find that you exist in this moment, it can only be because you are, indeed, one with that Creative Source that has birthed you in It’s own image and has given you access to all wisdom and all Truth and all support. For you are, indeed, loved above all things.

(p2) Therefore, begin always by acknowledging that this is the Truth. Then, allow the body to relax. And as it does so, look with the inner eye, the mind’s eye, at the situation, the context that seems to be presenting itself to you — whether it be of relationship, career, what have you. Simply, then, look with the mind’s eye upon the context and say, 

This context has no power to harm me. It comes because I have called it in my own desire to grow in wisdom, to grow in strength and power and certainty.

(p3) Then, remind yourself that only the Comforter’s guidance, the inner Voice of the Holy Spirit, can think rightly for you. Ask of That One, 

My Friend, what is this context for? What lesson do I need to learn? What decision truly will carry me in the direction of my deepest commitment?

(p4) And I emphasize the word commitment here, for as you well know, and we have spoken many times, that until the mind, until the soul, until the heart becomes fully committed to awakening from every last trace of illusion, until it becomes fully committed to bringing forth the gifts that have been placed within it by God, life is like a ship without a rudder. Therefore, ask what that decision is that truly serves the commitment that you have made to awakening to the Mind of Christ, to being the embodiment of wisdom and of Love and of peace.

(p5) Now having done that, remember that — at least in the initial stages of the journey — the egoic mind will always speak first. In other words, you have learned to look to the world’s thinking to find the solutions to the contexts, or what you call problems that present themselves. There is a period of retraining the mind in which you become more and more detached from the thinking patterns of the world. But when you begin to enter silence in this way, and ask,

What decision truly serves my highest good, my deepest commitment?

the first voice that you will usually hear is that little voice that says,

Oh, no. Don’t do that. No, no. Don’t do this. This will not leave you safe. And what about this person? And what about that person? And what about all of those things?

(p6) If you are observant, you will notice that when that voice speaks, it creates a restlessness within the body-mind itself, like an ocean churned by an angry wind, so that the waves toss to and fro. The breath changes. The shoulders tighten. There is a restlessness, and it seems as though it is difficult to maintain comfort and ease. The egoic voice, which is the voice of fear, the voice of guilt, the voice of self-judgment, the voice of unworthiness to be what God has created you to be, that voice always creates inner turmoil and loss of peace. Therefore, merely observe it. Do not seek to be rid of it, but just learn to observe it as it is.

Oh, I’ve asked the question within and asked for guidance, and immediately my mind became disturbed, my body’s changed and tightened, and I’m thinking about all manner of things that are ‘out there.’ This, surely, is not the Voice of the Comforter. Therefore, I will simply ask again.

(p7) Simply return to the acknowledgment of who you are and ask again, as we’ve suggested. Begin to observe, then, as the body begins to relax, that you need only say within the mind, 

In Truth, I do not know what a single thing is or is for. I am here to learn what it means to be awake, to be the embodiment of Love. And there is one Teacher given unto me who guides always correctly.

(p8) Merely then, ask your questions again. And notice the effect. Say within the mind,

I am not attached to the answer, for I trust Love to direct my course.

(p9) When you begin to observe that the mind, your beingness, is less and less attached to the outcome that you’re looking for, then the Voice of the Comforter can begin to speak to you. You’ve heard it often said that God speaks to you as a small, still, quiet Voice. This is the opposite of the world’s thinking. Therefore, as you cultivate the ability to rest in silence, to be detached from any need to have the answer look a certain way, more and more you will access that place in the depth of the mind, or the heart, in which the Comforter dwells at One with you.

(p10) Remember that the Holy Spirit is merely right-mindedness. Right-mindedness, correct seeing, correct feeling, is that that is aligned with the Will of God. That right-mindedness was placed within you by God Herself, if you will. So you are truly listening only to the depth of your own being, what we have referred to often as the heart, as a way of drawing a distinction from the thinking, restless mind.

(p11) It is in silence that the Voice of the Comforter speaks. And silence comes when you are no longer invested in the outcome of the contexts or decisions that confront you. You will know that you are truly guided when a picture, a thought, even a voice, a feeling in the heart, comes and your whole being resonates with it. Therefore, there is no conflict. There’s no tug of war any longer. There’s a moment of simple knowingness. It is not the kind of thing that needs to be explained to anyone. It is not the kind of thing that you question or mull over in your mind. It is a simple, immediate knowing.

This is the right decision. 
This is the journey I must make. 
This is the book I must read. 
This is the relationship I’m to be in, or not to be in (it doesn’t matter). 

(p12) The point is, you feel in your beingness a clarity, a resonance, that indicates you have stepped into a state of wholeness. You know what you know, and there is only certainty.

(p13) Then, of course, the next step is to follow through. The voice of the ego will rise again a thousand times, debating with you. And why? Because the voice of the ego, again, is that voice made up by you as a result of your guilt and fear and your belief that you are unworthy to be One with God, that your innocence has been tainted, that, therefore, the Creator has forgotten you. This is never the case. You are loved wholly. You have never sinned. And you remain as you are created to be. And your Creator merely waits for you to awaken from the dream of unworthiness and to take up your rightful place as His creation, that the good, the holy, and the beautiful can be extended through you in the very act of creation.

(p14) Beloved friend, guidance is something that is learned in the field of time. It occurs to the degree that you are willing to stop thinking for yourself. It comes to the degree that you are willing to set aside the guidance of everyone around you — and if you open yourself to that, you’ll find there are many just waiting to tell you what you should do. It comes as the result of your willingness to begin to turn every decision over to the Friend, the Teacher, the Comforter, that has been placed in the depth of your mind and your heart by God. And God is but Love.

(p15) Therefore, to cultivate tuning into, resonating with, listening, and then following that Voice in the depth of your heart means that you are learning to let Love be your guide, Love be your teacher, Love be your friend. And that Love is universal. That Love is eternal. And that Love is within you now! You cannot be alone at any time. And all power under Heaven and Earth is given unto you to guide and shape your journey through time. And over time, you will become a master of tuning into guidance. 

(p16) Making the direction toward the Kingdom of Heaven, you will learn to go only to that altar and not to the altar of the world. And as miracles occur, as success builds upon success, you will learn that after all is said and done, the world has been wrong. You are not alone. You do not need to make your way. Your way will be made for you by a Power and Love and Intelligence that birthed you in the first place and has only your highest good in mind.

(p17) Practice well then, beloved friend. Look to see how you can begin to turn decisions over. Begin with those that are quite simple, so that fear does not arise. Begin, for instance, by simply asking, 

What would be the best thing I could put in my body for breakfast? 
Which of these two movies would I most enjoy?

(p18) And then, practice listening for the inner guidance. Again, in this way, you begin with situations that are fairly ‘safe’ for you. And then you can progress to ‘bigger’ decisions, until, ultimately, every decision is turned over — even the most ordinary decisions. Not in a way that anybody will see or notice, but your mind has been corrected, so that in each moment, you’re quietly asking, 

Father/Mother God, what would you have me do? For only your plan works, and only your pathway is strewn with the flowers of miracles, and wisdom, and peace, and the fulfillment of my soul.

(p19) Begin practicing, beloved friend, making the decision to turn every decision over to the quiet place within where the Friend, the Teacher, waits for you.

[Vali2003]

53 minutes ago, Elliott said:

Most people just cheat or start a fight, to try to avoid the pain. You're a great person for not doing that, it's so loving to her and yourself.

Thank you. 

I'm afraid I'm too scared to turn inward and find out what the truth is about if I 'should' stay with her or break up. In the end, both decisions are good, I just should make sure to quit this 'in-between' space.

[Vali2003]

@Salvijus Thank you. Where is that from?

[Vali2003]

3 minutes ago, Elliott said:

I don't see how you will possibly choose to stay. She has growing to do, and may never do it.

 

 

I also have faults. She is interested in growing and personal development and has grown a lot over the last three years. That isn't a breaking point for me. But, in the end, you're probably right regardless.

[Salvijus]

40 minutes ago, Vali2003 said:

@Salvijus Thank you. Where is that from?

It's called "The way of mastery" by Jayem. 

It's 35 lessons to accelerate one's enlightenment and awaken to love conciousness. 

Edited 5 hours ago by Salvijus

[Elliott]

5 hours ago, Vali2003 said:

 I've been seriously thinking about breaking up for 1,5 years -- 

19 minutes ago, Vali2003 said:

I also have faults.

You breaking up has nothing to do with how good you are, that's up to her whether it's good enough or not for her.

19 minutes ago, Vali2003 said:

She is interested in growing and personal development and has grown a lot over the last three years. That isn't a breaking point for me. But, in the end, you're probably right regardless.

She may definitely grow. If you end on a good note, your paths may cross again.