How I Found My Purpose

[Olaf]

I have spend 6 months trying to find my purpose realizing that how most people find their purpose didn't fit me.

 I now have found an alligned path for me, but I know many people might have some issues finding their purpose as most peoples purpose is very simplistic and unconscious, like be a firefighter or something simple and a bit stupid, to be honest.

For me it was much more conscious and deep, touching me at my very core, but to get to that, it took me going through allot of resistance, allot of painful humbling moments where I had to realise I had to start from 0 again and that I might have to embaress myself, put myself out there, be couragous, what my ego definitely didn't want to do so it wanted an easy, comfortable purpose.

Anyways enough about me, if you have any questions around purpose let them know below, I might be able to help you get some clairity and insight.

Edited January 4 by Olaf
title change + paragraphs

[Joseph Maynor]

What is your life purpose?

[theleelajoker]

How do you know it's your life purpose?

What are your criteria for declaring it the "right" result?

How do you examine your criteria?

How did you get to these criteria?

What would tell you that you might be wrong? 

How do you know there's a single life purpose instead of rotating one?

How you know that other's life purpose is simple, stupid and unconscious?

What makes you sure that your life purpose is not simple, stupid and unconscious?

Edited January 5 by theleelajoker

[Olaf]

@theleelajoker These are many questions, but I can answer a few as a starter. How do I know ther is a single life purpose? There is no single life purpose in the sense that you will have a purpose forever, some people have a purpose to be a firefighter and after 5 years they don't resonate with it anymore. Therefor even my life purpose might change in 5 years, I would say therefor instead of thinking in words of a final super hero type of purpose, think more of it in what is in allignment for you while giving value. For example, a farmer is giving value, but that doesn't mean everyone resonates with being a farmer. So allignment is key and allignment might change overtime.

Especially when you have a lower conscious purpose like being a truck driver or something, then if you grow you will grow out of that faster then a purpose that is more on the higher scales of consciousness. Doesn't mean you can't be conscious and a truck driver, but its very unlikely that that still will resonate with you. What would tell I might be wrong? I don't look at it from an intellectual point, I looked at what resonated with me, if something resonates with me, its not an intellectual decision, that is the big difference.

How do I know that others life purpose is simple, stupid and unconscious? This is of course a blunt saying of me, maybe exagurated a bit, but I would say that I rarely find someone have a very high conscious purpose, maybe something like getting people get rid of alcohol, but that even to me doesn't sound like it is super conscious, because lets say people are no longer addicted to drugs or alcohol, are you now helping them to be conscious? No, your just helping them with addiction, many people have gotten rid of alcohol and then became a billionaire chasing money like Grant Cardone, in fact maybe you could even say that Grant Cardone getting of of drugs made the world more unconscious, because not only is he chasing money like a dog, he is encouraging others to do so in great quantity.

What makes me sure that my life purpose is not simple, stupid and unconscious? How can you be sure? I guess nothing is full proof, but you can say that if you resonate with something that is beyond ego, meaning status, money, sex, even safety and security, that we are already leaning into a good direction. For example Jesus purpose had nothing to do with status, not only that his status went down, his safety and security was attacked, BECAUSE he had a too high of a purpose for people in the middle ages to resonate with it. It attacked his survival directly yet he never swayed of his purpose, I wouldn't know if I am as hardcore as him, unlikely, but if its not encouraging survival, it is something beyond ego, therefor higher conscious according to me.

[theleelajoker]

On 23.1.2026 at 0:05 AM, Olaf said:

@theleelajoker These are many questions, but I can answer a few as a starter. How do I know ther is a single life purpose? There is no single life purpose in the sense that you will have a purpose forever, some people have a purpose to be a firefighter and after 5 years they don't resonate with it anymore. Therefor even my life purpose might change in 5 years, I would say therefor instead of thinking in words of a final super hero type of purpose, think more of it in what is in allignment for you while giving value. For example, a farmer is giving value, but that doesn't mean everyone resonates with being a farmer. So allignment is key and allignment might change overtime.

Especially when you have a lower conscious purpose like being a truck driver or something, then if you grow you will grow out of that faster then a purpose that is more on the higher scales of consciousness. Doesn't mean you can't be conscious and a truck driver, but its very unlikely that that still will resonate with you. What would tell I might be wrong? I don't look at it from an intellectual point, I looked at what resonated with me, if something resonates with me, its not an intellectual decision, that is the big difference.

How do I know that others life purpose is simple, stupid and unconscious? This is of course a blunt saying of me, maybe exagurated a bit, but I would say that I rarely find someone have a very high conscious purpose, maybe something like getting people get rid of alcohol, but that even to me doesn't sound like it is super conscious, because lets say people are no longer addicted to drugs or alcohol, are you now helping them to be conscious? No, your just helping them with addiction, many people have gotten rid of alcohol and then became a billionaire chasing money like Grant Cardone, in fact maybe you could even say that Grant Cardone getting of of drugs made the world more unconscious, because not only is he chasing money like a dog, he is encouraging others to do so in great quantity.

What makes me sure that my life purpose is not simple, stupid and unconscious? How can you be sure? I guess nothing is full proof, but you can say that if you resonate with something that is beyond ego, meaning status, money, sex, even safety and security, that we are already leaning into a good direction. For example Jesus purpose had nothing to do with status, not only that his status went down, his safety and security was attacked, BECAUSE he had a too high of a purpose for people in the middle ages to resonate with it. It attacked his survival directly yet he never swayed of his purpose, I wouldn't know if I am as hardcore as him, unlikely, but if its not encouraging survival, it is something beyond ego, therefor higher conscious according to me.

Appreciate the time you took to reply. Makes more sense for me re your more nuanced answers.

Enjoy your time and good luck with your (changing) life purpose(s)

[Joseph Maynor]

On 1/22/2026 at 3:05 PM, Olaf said:

@theleelajoker These are many questions, but I can answer a few as a starter. How do I know ther is a single life purpose? There is no single life purpose in the sense that you will have a purpose forever

I found this to be not true for me.  My life purpose has never changed.  It's very odd because I would expect it would change.  People kept telling me it would change.  This is where you have to listen to yourself and take others' opinions with a grain of salt.

[Olaf]

@Joseph Maynor I think that is great news for you, probably you have found a purpose that is on the higher scale of consciousness therefor even if you grow, your probably still gonna feel alligned to it.

[Olaf]

@theleelajoker Yes I hope everything is clear now

[BlueOak]

To me, a dilemma is where two equally viable options emerge. In the past I have always combined them.

How do you choose between them in this context? Imagine they were radically different, and led to different life outcomes, to the point that combining them appears difficult to imagine. I will refrain from describing them, because it's the process you'd go through that I am interested in rather than a bias toward one or the other.

@Olaf

Edited 2 hours ago by BlueOak

[Joshe]

On 1/22/2026 at 6:05 PM, Olaf said:

There is no single life purpose

I find term "life trajectory" more fitting than "life purpose". The idea of a single life purpose can make one blind to alternative, potentially more aligned paths. To double down on a single purpose seems a mistake to me. 

A big insight for me was realizing purpose doesn't survive as a feeling. If purpose is built on felt meaning, it will eventually collapse, at least for me. 

I had an interesting discussion with AI about this a while back, and found following interesting. 

---

Phase 1: Purpose chosen from feeling (the common failure)

The insight moment

Evan has a strong experience—maybe a book, a conversation, a realization during a quiet night.

His internal state:

• “Holy shit. This explains everything.”
• “This feels true.”
• “This is what I’m supposed to do.”

Let’s say the insight is: “My purpose is to help people see truth.”

At this moment:

• His mind feels integrated
• Anxiety drops
• The future feels coherent
• Identity snaps into place

This is felt bigness.

The decision he makes

Evan thinks: “Since this feels this clear, it must be my life purpose.”

So he declares it:

• To himself
• Maybe to others
• He reorganizes his self-image around it

Crucially, the purpose is stored as:

• A story
• A self-concept
• A motivational idea

It lives in his feelings and narrative, not his structure.

Phase 2: Normalization (where confusion starts)

Months pass. Then a year.

The insight hasn’t become false.

But it has become:

• Familiar
• Obvious
• Emotionally quiet

Internally, Evan now notices:

• “I don’t feel driven by this anymore.”
• “If this were really my purpose, wouldn’t it still feel powerful?”
• “Maybe I was just high on insight.”

Here’s the key mistake his mind almost always makes: He interprets loss of feeling as loss of validity.

So now: 

• He questions the purpose
• He reopens the option space
• He starts browsing alternatives again

At this stage, he’s vulnerable to:

• New “big” insights
• New identities
• New purposes

This is the purpose churn loop.

Phase 3: The correction (where maturity enters)

Eventually—either through reflection or pain—Evan notices a pattern:

• “Every purpose I choose feels huge at first… then normal.”
• “But some paths feel wrong even when I’m uninspired.”

This is the turning point.

He stops asking: “What feels meaningful?”

And starts asking: “What breaks me when I violate it?”

Phase 4: Purpose rebuilt as a constraint

Evan revisits the same domain—truth, clarity, systems, whatever—but now watches his actual behavior.

He notices something specific:

• When he avoids shallow work, he’s fine
• When he avoids people-pleasing, he’s fine
• When he avoids performative bullshit, he’s fine

But:

• When he lies to himself → anxiety spikes
• When he works on empty status goals → energy collapses
• When he suppresses his need to understand → resentment builds

These reactions happen without motivation.

So he reframes his purpose like this:

Not: “My purpose is to help people see truth.”

But: “I cannot live a life that requires me to lie to myself or operate in bad faith.”

This is no longer inspirational. It is exclusionary.

Phase 5: How this changes daily decisions (the real-life effect)

Now watch what happens.

Old mode (feeling-based)
A job offer comes in. Evan thinks:

• “Does this align with my purpose?”
• “Does it feel meaningful enough?”

He debates.
He rationalizes.
He second-guesses.

New mode (constraint-based)
Same offer. 
His thinking is shorter:

• “This role would require me to pretend to care about things I don’t believe in.”
• “That’s not survivable.”

Decision made. No inspiration required.

The crucial difference

Feeling-based purpose:

• Needs to be refreshed
• Needs to feel alive
• Needs reinforcement
• Competes with boredom

Constraint-based purpose:

• Operates automatically
• Persists through boredom
• Narrows choices over time
• Becomes stricter, not weaker

Evan doesn’t wake up thinking: “I’m living my purpose today.”

He wakes up thinking: “Some options are off the table.”

The takeaway: A real purpose doesn’t motivate you — it makes certain paths impossible.

---

Analogy: 

Imagine someone who used to eat junk food freely, then later can’t.

Not because of willpower.
Not because of beliefs.

But because:

• Their body reacts badly
• Inflammation
• Brain fog
• Mood crashes

Now junk food is “impossible.”

They can eat it.
But they won’t say: “I just don’t feel inspired to.”

They’ll say: “It fucks me up.”

That’s the same mechanism. Purpose works the same way when real.

Why motivation language confuses this

Motivation is episodic.
Constraints are homeostatic.

Motivation:

• Pushes from behind
• Comes and goes
• Requires energy

Constraints:

• Pull from ahead
• Operate silently
• Reduce degrees of freedom

 

Edited 1 hour ago by Joshe