How Are Ya’ll Really Doing?

[Miguel1]

Closing the year, I want this thread to be a safe place for you to share your true feelings, and to for example, share what you are currently struggling with the most? What is making you sad? Hopeless?

Is there something you are truly proud of and happy about? Maybe something you achieved this year?

Let us try to find more clarity and peace going into the new year.

[Miguel1]

Currently I struggle deeply with integrating the unconsciousness of the world, as I become more conscious. I feel like as an extrovert, this work is much harder because I crave human connections much more than introverts. As the gap between me and the general gravity of the world grows further apart, it makes me more and more sad because of the lack of connection to anyone, especially in real life. Here on this forum, we have like-minded people but it will never be the same as having real life soul-friends to share small and big moments with.

Once in a blue moon, I meet a more solid stage green girl (who dont have too much inner baggage / or has healed them) to share intimate moments with, and that makes me happy. But to mee this person, I have to go through a lot of unconsciousness first. Too much.

On top of this all, I am most likely something along the lines of a highly sensitive person / highly empathetic person etc. I feel the pain of others’ and the world’s intimately deeply. An emotional sponge so to say. Probably the reason why I want to help the world so much. It is very existentially heavy to see so much pain and suffering around.

I also struggle deeply to make conscious business work. I have sacrificed almost everything to make it work, but the devil is always lurking around the corner tempting me with sweets. This is directly connected with the point above where the general gravity of people is at a level where it really is hard to reach them by being more conscious.

That being said, I am happy that I have kept loyalty to Truth, at least much better than I believed I could. I am happy that I have a really beautiful vision with very unique strenghts and traits to reach that — that I can bring something truly unique to the world.

I am proud of myself for growing so much throughout the years. So damn much. How can someone grow this much? I just turned 31 physically but I feel like I am way older mentally and emotionally. The deep inner work for the past 15 years, four extremely painful break-ups, the hard spiritual work and the constant facing of soul-crushing truths about life, human nature and finally, spiritual fantasies. My God. I am surprised I haven’t gone mad and killed myself!

That being said, all these has led me to an ever deeper connection to Truth, God, and Reality. Something I am most proud of.

I have a really beautiful small home on the highest floor (6th) with a full ocean view (near the centrum of Helsinki, which is very rare to have here or probably anywhere on that note). I have showered this home with so much love that it has blossomed into a graceful and elegant flower. It is my safe place.

I love how I treat my body. I live a very healthy lifestyle and that makes me happy.

I am grateful that I can make decent income and live very comfortably by doing work that is fairly conscious. It is just nowhere at the level where I would want to reach with my highly ambitious self. But let us take one step at a time. Many years left in my life.

Finally, I do have a best friend who is Dutch and lives in Amsterdam. His name is Olaf. He also follows the work we do here but not just on this forum. I love you brother, thank you for being my friend all these years and growing together.

How are you guys doing?

Edited 4 hours ago by Miguel1

[integration journey]

Overwhelmed because I’m turning 27 on new years day and survival is biting my ass while I try to align myself with God and truth. 

[Terell Kirby]

In 2025, i'm less dependent on validation from socializing- much of that is a result of this work.

But I do need to be careful not isolate, deep understanding of the structure of reality can make you retreat into your own Mind-there are profound tradeoffs as it relates to human relationships.

I am also an extrovert (ENFP on Myers Briggs to be exact), so I admit I get energy from socializing and relating to humans. Bringing that in balance with time with God is challenging, but a worthy endeavor.

I'm also auditing my career path, getting it more aligned with my value system in 2026

[Entrepreneur]

1 hour ago, Miguel1 said:

Currently I struggle deeply with integrating the unconsciousness of the world, as I become more conscious.

As the gap between me and the general gravity of the world grows further apart, it makes me more and more sad because of the lack of connection to anyone, especially in real life.

I also struggle deeply to make conscious business work. I have sacrificed almost everything to make it work, but the devil is always lurking around the corner tempting me with sweets. This is directly connected with the point above where the general gravity of people is at a level where it really is hard to reach them by being more conscious.

I'd love to understand what you mean here.   Are you just saying you don't meet many people that you feel you really connect with deeply?

I am exceptionally empathetic as you state you are.  And I rarely find someone I connect with fully.   But I don't attribute any of it to being conscious vs unconscious.   I am wondering what you even mean by that.   Can you please explain it to someone who doesn't understand it?

[Miguel1]

29 minutes ago, Entrepreneur said:

I'd love to understand what you mean here.   Are you just saying you don't meet many people that you feel you really connect with deeply?

I am exceptionally empathetic as you state you are.  And I rarely find someone I connect with fully.   But I don't attribute any of it to being conscious vs unconscious.   I am wondering what you even mean by that.   Can you please explain it to someone who doesn't understand it?

As an extreme example, think of a highly empathetic stage green person trying to connect with a very violent stage red person. How would the stage green person feel? Except in this case, the person doesnt even get triggered / angry at the lower developed person because they understand where they are at, and that that’s what they need.

So in a way, it’s almost a complete disengagement.

Another way you can look at it is how do you feel around children? Yeah they are cute, innocent, and all but there’s not much to connect with on a deeper level. On top of that, in this case the children are not cute, nor innocent, and they carry guns with lots of selfish and unconscious selfish drivers and triggers!

So it is not really a complete disengagement as you have to engage with them and their unconsciousness in order to survive, and try to do your best to help them grow up and clean up, otherwise they will cause massive suffering to everything and everyone on the planet.

Hope this answered you. And why don’t you take this moment, and express to us your current feelings and thoughts about your life, as we enter the new year?

Edited 2 hours ago by Miguel1

[Entrepreneur]

12 minutes ago, Miguel1 said:

As an extreme example, think of a highly empathetic stage green person trying to connect with a very violent stage red person. How would the stage green person feel? Except in this case, the person doesnt even get triggered / angry at the lower developed person because they understand where they are at, and that that’s what they need.

So in a way, it’s almost a complete disengagement.

Another way you can look at it is how do you feel around children? Yeah they are cute, innocent, and all but there’s not much to connect with on a deeper level. On top of that, in this case the children are not cute, nor innocent, but they carry guns with lots of selfish and unconscious selfish drivers and triggers.

So it is not really a complete disengagement as you have to engage with them and their unconsciousness in order to survive, and try to do your best to help them grow up and clean up, otherwise they will cause massive suffering to everything and everyone on the planet.

Hope this answered you. And why don’t you take this moment, and express to us your current feelings and thoughts about your life, as we enter the new year?

Thank you for the explanation.   It makes more sense now.

I don't resonate with the whole spiral dynamics model of human values or societies.   I find it inferior because I think the assertion that Green, Yellow, or Turquoise are any more evolved in any way than Red, Blue, or Orange is just wrong.   I see them as choices based on a person's circumstances and upbringing, but having zero to do with being more developed or less developed.   I also realize that is probably a very unpopular view on this forum.   Just saying what I honestly believe from studying humans my entire life.   If you buy into the spiral dynamics explanation, then yes, I could see why you think these other people around you are "less developed".   I just don't see them that way.  I merely see them as people who have made different choices because of how human beings are designed.

Thank you for asking about my feelings and thoughts about my life as we enter the new year.

Honestly, I feel a deeper sense of satisfaction and gratitude in my life than I ever have.  I have made vast progress on many goals that most of you would label as being stage "Orange" goals.   But I chose, and continue to choose, similar ones after deep contemplation over many decades.  I am a spiritual person, but it is not at the top of my Pyramid.   What the Greeks call "Eudaimonia" is.   So I seek more of it from many different sources.   And the more of it I bring into my life through these so-called stage "Orange" pursuits, the happier and more satisfying my life has become.   So, I intend to stay on this track.

One thing I would like to make further progress on is practicing radical acceptance of those things in life that are upsetting, yet outside of my control.

[aurum]

I will soon be launching another personal development product. This is the first time I've done so in years.

I'm very excited about it. I deliberately did not create any paid products for a long time because they did not meet my standards. Finally, I have something that feels ready. It's my best work by far. It feels like the culmination of years and years of work for me. Maybe a handful of people on the planet are in a position to produce this besides myself.

[CARDOZZO]

I'm work hard to integrate stage orange and stage yellow. 

Archetypes: Warrior, Monk, Pioneer, Innovator, Inventor.

[Bjorn K Holmstrom]

@Miguel1 I resonate deeply with what you call the 'general gravity' of the world.

I am currently building infrastructure for civilizational resilience (a digital platform for crisis coordination). The struggle isn't the work itself (I love the building). The struggle is the 'Cassandra Complex': trying to sell fire insurance to people who don't believe in fire.

I oscillate between two modes:

Being an architect: Feeling the immense weight of the 'Omega' (the systemic collapse vectors) and the urgency to build the lifeboat before the storm hits, kind of like Noah.

Being a ghost: Feeling invisible because the ideas I am working on seem too heavy or too abstract for the current market, which wants quick dopamine hits.

Becoming a beaver: My challenge for 2026 is to stop trying to convince the river to stop flowing, and just focus on building the dam. To trust that when the rain starts, the value of the work will become self-evident.

But yes, building the future in a world clinging to the past is lonely work. Thank you for this thread.