Psychiatry Is A Racket - my experience

[Michal__]

As someone who spent close to 5 months hospitalized this hits close to home.

They misdiagnosed my HPPD as schizophrenia. 

Then they took away my rights for a few long months and gave me some shitty pills. 

Now I have to visit a psychiatrist once a month that gives me a stupid injection and of course even smoking weed is out of the question from their point of view (I have obviously done psychedelics since then and nothing bad happened).

All because my stupid brother didnt like that I was high and meditating. No psychosis,  nothing.

I am now doing a solo meditation retreat assisted by modafinil and I cant even talk about that.

And now I have a permanent medical record that prevents me from getting a lot of jobs. 

At least I can get some free money from the state (I see it more as a reimbursenent for wasting precious months haha).

I used it to get some stress free months of close to retreat level practice (while hospitalized), so at least that part was good. But I was lazy,  so it wasnt like a full retreat.

 

 

[Willie]

Sounds very non-consensual and awful. 

[Michal__]

3 hours ago, Willie said:

Sounds very non-consensual and awful. 

Yeah, it definitely was.

[Carl-Richard]

On 21.12.2025 at 10:53 PM, Michal__ said:

They misdiagnosed my HPPD as schizophrenia. 

What symptoms did you report?

[Bjorn K Holmstrom]

I relate heavily to the OP and the frustration expressed here. I’ve been living a version of this same trap since 2018.

My brief story:

I was a rational materialist engineer (Engineering Physics) who got into yoga and meditation. In 2018, on a flight to Sweden, I had a sudden, massive shift in perception where reality literally looked and felt like the 1980s for several minutes. I was calm, but the disconnect from consensus reality eventually led to a crisis of meaning.

The system’s response was a diagnosis of "Inorganic Psychosis." I’ve been on bi-weekly antipsychotic injections for seven years.

Like many of you, I have questioned whether I still need this medication. I am functional, I build complex systems (I’m currently architecting an open-source project called Global Governance Frameworks), and I haven't had a recurrence in years. But I am trapped in what I call the Conditional Reality Loop.

The Systemic Trap:

It’s not just about "bad doctors." It is a structural design flaw in how our society handles consciousness.

1. The Diagnosis justifies the medication.
2. The Medication confirms the diagnosis (if you stay stable, "it's working").
3. The Diagnosis is the ticket to economic survival (sick leave/benefits).
4. The Trap: If I question the medication, I am questioning the diagnosis. If I question the diagnosis, I risk losing the economic support that keeps me housed.

I literally cannot afford to find out if I am "sane" or not. The price of truth-seeking is the risk of homelessness.

This is why I believe we need Adaptive Universal Basic Income (AUBI). It’s not just about money; it is the necessary infrastructure for consciousness exploration. Until we decouple survival from "patient status," genuine mental health recovery is economically disincentivized.

We aren't just fighting a medical system; we are fighting an economic one that treats consciousness exploration as a liability.

Has anyone else felt this specific economic double-bind? Where you could potentially get better, but the risks of trying are too high?

[Michal__]

6 hours ago, Carl-Richard said:

What symptoms did you report?

None, they just eyed it. Tested my concentration and memory. I did have hallucinations during the rorsach test though. I dont know whether they could tell though .  I wanted to go home asap. 

Also, I told a psychiatrist I had hallucinations for a week after consuming 8 weed brownies.  (A different one, later)

Edited 21 hours ago by Michal__

[Leo Gura]

@Bjorn K Holmstrom

Sorry to hear of your difficulties.

Have you considered switching to an oral antipsychotic and then just not telling your doctor you're not taking it?

Then again, if you don't need the medication then rightly speaking you should not be getting disability money. That money is intended for people who are truly sick. You want it both ways: not to be counted as sick but getting money allocated for sick people.

Edited 21 hours ago by Leo Gura

[Davidess]

@Michal__ If you happen to switch to oral antipsychotic, don't taper it immediately. Your brain gets used to the antipsychotic and if you taper it immediately, you'll get the rebound effect, which is essentially a withdrawal syndrome.

I was on antipsychotic i.m. injection for 2 years and after I switched to oral antipsychotics I stopped taking them immediately and I experienced drug-induced (drug-withdrawal) psychosis, I couldn't sleep for days and I had symptoms of psychosis. Depends on the drug though. 

I had to visit my psychiatrist because the pain of not sleeping was so severe and I had to reveal that I didn't take the pills I was supposed to take and she concluded that it was "the disease" without the pills, not the withdrawal, so now she is even more committed to not stop i.m. injections of the antipsychotic.

Moral of the story: if you happen to switch to oral antipsychotics, study how to taper them. Don't quit taking them immediately.

[Bjorn K Holmstrom]

2 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

@Bjorn K Holmstrom

Sorry to hear of your difficulties.

Have you considered switching to an oral antipsychotic and then just not telling your doctor you're not taking it?

Then again, if you don't need the medication then rightly speaking you should not be getting disability money. That money is intended for people who are truly sick. You want it both ways: not to be counted as sick but getting money allocated for sick people.

Thanks Leo, I appreciate the concern and the suggestion.

Regarding the oral meds: The system here is rigid. They use injections (depots) specifically to enforce compliance. Switching to oral usually requires 'earned trust' or stability that my current doctors (I get a new one almost every time I renew my sick leave permit/valdation (once per 3rd month)) aren't willing to grant yet (unlike one of my previous doctors, who was ready to take me off entirely before he was replaced).

On the 'both ways' point: You are right in principle. I don't want to live on sick pay if I am well. The catch-22 is that the depression has been very real, but it wasn't just random biology. It was largely triggered by the deep existential friction of trying to force myself into applying for 'normal' work. That felt completely meaningless, like an eternal loop of endless job applications. That misalignment is actually what initiated my hospitalization in the first place.

I am actively trying to build my own exit ramp, though. I'm currently applying for innovation grants for a civil resilience infrastructure project (CivicBase). That feels like the most honest way out—transcending the patient role by building something of value, rather than just fighting the diagnosis.

AUBI (or UBI) would be the game-changer here—not just for me, but for anyone who breaks because they can't fit into the standard boxes. It would allow us to contribute through alignment rather than crashing into compliance.

[Michal__]

13 minutes ago, Bjorn K Holmstrom said:

Thanks Leo, I appreciate the concern and the suggestion.

Regarding the oral meds: The system here is rigid. They use injections (depots) specifically to enforce compliance. Switching to oral usually requires 'earned trust' or stability that my current doctors (I get a new one almost every time I renew my sick leave permit/valdation (once per 3rd month)) aren't willing to grant yet (unlike one of my previous doctors, who was ready to take me off entirely before he was replaced).

On the 'both ways' point: You are right in principle. I don't want to live on sick pay if I am well. The catch-22 is that the depression has been very real, but it wasn't just random biology. It was largely triggered by the deep existential friction of trying to force myself into applying for 'normal' work. That felt completely meaningless, like an eternal loop of endless job applications. That misalignment is actually what initiated my hospitalization in the first place.

I am actively trying to build my own exit ramp, though. I'm currently applying for innovation grants for a civil resilience infrastructure project (CivicBase). That feels like the most honest way out—transcending the patient role by building something of value, rather than just fighting the diagnosis.

AUBI (or UBI) would be the game-changer here—not just for me, but for anyone who breaks because they can't fit into the standard boxes. It would allow us to contribute through alignment rather than crashing into compliance.

How long were you hospitalized for?

And btw how did you get profile bio to display?

[Bjorn K Holmstrom]

36 minutes ago, Michal__ said:

How long were you hospitalized for?

And btw how did you get profile bio to display?

I have had two hospitalization episodes, one 2019 (initial emptiness with job search, leading to the diagnosis 'inorganic psychosis' a broad term they seem to use when they don't really understand the circumstances) and one 2023 (depression, not taking care of myself).
Each time I was around a month, or a bit longer in the wards.

The bio is the Signature, available under Settings->Account Settings (click your name in the top right corner of the forum page to find the menu)
 

[Carl-Richard]

7 hours ago, Michal__ said:

None, they just eyed it. Tested my concentration and memory. I did have hallucinations during the rorsach test though. I dont know whether they could tell though .  I wanted to go home asap. 

Also, I told a psychiatrist I had hallucinations for a week after consuming 8 weed brownies.  (A different one, later)

As far as I know, HPPD specifically refers to small visual disturbances, notably the "visual snow" which is given an increased intensity and may involve colors. If you have fully formed object or auditory hallucinations, that's something else.

Edited 14 hours ago by Carl-Richard

[Michal__]

46 minutes ago, Carl-Richard said:

As far as I know, HPPD specifically refers to small visual disturbances, more specifically the "visual snow" which is given an increased intensity and starts overlapping your visual field and may involve colors. If you have fully formed object or auditory hallucinations, that's something else.

I'd probably call it temporary weed induced psychosis. Or not even that, just getting too high and not botheting anyone. 

One of the effects I am enjoying to this day is the ground moving like on LSD while sober. 

Edited 15 hours ago by Michal__

[Carl-Richard]

49 minutes ago, Michal__ said:

I'd probably call it temporary weed induced psychosis. Or not even that, just getting too high and not botheting anyone.

So why did you go to the psychiatrist?

[Michal__]

10 minutes ago, Carl-Richard said:

So why did you go to the psychiatrist?

I didnt. My brother called the ambulance . 

He also stole 1500$ from me (which is a months wage in my country).

[Carl-Richard]

Just now, Michal__ said:

I didnt. My brother called the ambulance . 

He also stole 1500$ from me (which is a months wage in my country).

Why would he call the ambulance unless you're in immediate danger?

[Michal__]

12 minutes ago, Carl-Richard said:

Why would he call the ambulance unless you're in immediate danger?

In our country the laws to commit someone are a bit weird. Out of mallice - we got into a fight. 

Edited 14 hours ago by Michal__