LPC: difficulty getting clear on my values

[Judy2]

in the life purpose course, i've finally arrived at the section on values assessment last week. i've tried to do some of the exercises but find that it's difficult to get clear on my values.

the hardest part is probably that i am supposed to imagine what my "ideal" self would value, which is driving me more into hypothetical "should" territory where i imagine some picture book version of myself....it's hard to say if this would be the authentic me though. 

for example, i can't get quite clear on how much i actually value community. is it just social anxiety that's in the way, or is my desire for engaging with other people in a communal way naturally low, or something inbetween? it's also really hard to determine if a value is mildly important vs the thing everything else hinges upon for me.

and i have the same issue with many other core values as well. i guess it's a bit of a catch 22 because you need to know your ideal self to know what you value, but you need to know your values to know your ideal self. and then this usually culminates in me trying to analyse myself like some omniscient narrator, rather than connecting with myself.

any advice on how to gain a bit more clarity? is there any method to make this inquiry simpler, rather than drifting off into too theoretical territory?

Edited 1 hour ago by Judy2

[Judy2]

and with truth/consciousness/love/... it's really hard to say if these should be grouped as one value or as individual values, and if i should pick just one of them or several.

Edited 35 minutes ago by Judy2

[UnbornTao]

Sure, the main method is to get clear for yourself. What do you value? Not what you'd like to value in an imagined scenario, but what values already underlie your choices and actions. You can make a list - beauty, health, connection, fun, learning, and so on.

What do you deliberately spend your time on? What are your interests? Which activities do you enjoy? What moves you in life? What would you like to create or learn or contribute to the world? I'd say, focus on that.

[Judy2]

@UnbornTao but i thought the idea is also that many of my current values are potentially inauthentic? like safety, comfort, and wanting to be liked/approved of?

 

but i guess it can't hurt to think about this, thank you:)

4 minutes ago, UnbornTao said:

What do you deliberately spend your time on? What are your interests? Which activities do you enjoy? What moves you in life? What would you like to create or learn or contribute to the world? I'd say, focus on that.

there are probably still many authentic values that are already a part of my life, i just need to be more conscious when i spend time on them/when they "move" me.

😇