Feeling Depressed After Empowering Insight

[Vali2003]

I had a fantastic insight by watching a Peter Ralston video on procrastination. I don't remember exactly what he said, but basically it was that when procrastinating we're behaving like a child that acts as though it can't do something even though it definitely could do it. For example, when I'm watching YT and I think

ohh, I would love to do some work, but this YT video is just so compelling, I can't bring myself to stop. 

This is actually false. I can stop, but I just don't want to. I'm lying to myself acting like it's outside of my control, but really, I could just stop.

I realized this, and ever since I have much more control or free will if you want to call it that. I can decide to sleep on time, even though I don't feel like it. I can do work even if I don't want to, etc. I just try to see in the moment that I'm averting responsibility to something outside of myself and then I realize I actually can do whatever I want. 

Sounds great, but ever since I feel a bit depressed. I don't know why. Just like, there's nothing I'm looking forward to. I'm sure it'll pass again, but I thought I would write about it here. 

Maybe someone here could help me make sense of why this is happening.

So what are your thoughts on this?

 

[Miguel1]

Getting clear on top your values and life purpose, and dedicating your life to it solves all of this.

[Vali2003]

@Miguel1 Yes it would be helpful, but I think that's not the reason in this particular case. 

My state directly correlates with the insight I had. It's almost like what I'm facing now is just the emptiness I usually avoid by procrastinating. 

 

 

[Ishanga]

14 minutes ago, Vali2003 said:

@Miguel1 Yes it would be helpful, but I think that's not the reason in this particular case. 

My state directly correlates with the insight I had. It's almost like what I'm facing now is just the emptiness I usually avoid by procrastinating. 

 

 

Lots of us are trapped in loops of coping skills and behaviours, like distraction or procrastinating.. If You truly embrace the Insight as a Real Insight, and You feeling it is empowering, that should reflect in how You feel and experience life.. Problem is Karma is a bitch, Karma is like the Software in a computer, if You don't reprogram the software, it will keep on spitting out the same outputs, so fix the software (Your conditioning, tendencies, habits, mental rehashing and overthinking patterns, etc) and then the experience of Empowerment is real for You and it feels Good!

[Vali2003]

@Ishanga So you say I feel depressed, because my software is to feel depressed when I don't procrastinate.  Which could be translated as saying I feel empty when I stop induldging in my addictions. But, when my software changes (I stop being addicted) via the passing of time and getting used to the new patterns, then the insight will truly be and feel empowering. Did I understand that correctly?

[Ishanga]

Just now, Vali2003 said:

@Ishanga So you say I feel depressed, because my software is to feel depressed when I don't procrastinate.  Which could be translated as saying I feel empty when I stop induldging in my addictions. But, when my software changes (I stop being addicted) via the passing of time and getting used to the new patterns, then the insight will truly be and feel empowering. Did I understand that correctly?

Yes sort of... We are very conditioned people in the societies we live in pretty well no matter what country You live in.. This means we are not free individuals, utilizing our Free Will to decide how we want to feel within ourselves and control the direction of our lives, rather we are told what we should like, how we should live, what we need to do and have to feel happy or healthy.. 

So when You stop being addicted and consciously create not new patterns (cause patterns mean unconsciousness, no clarity, your blind and not aware of what is going on or where life is found), but create firstly how to BE, just BEINGNESS, which is a great sense of Self, what am I, where did I come from, a sense of Completeness and Connectedness with everything living around You, then via that You feel Peace or Bliss naturally, and then from that You go out and perform Action (DO) and get things and HAVE..  so the formula is this BE--->DO---HAVE or BE--->HAVE--->DO ..

Very few ppl today Establish their BEINGNESS first, most go out and DO to HAVE things like ppl, places and objects/materialism/experience hunting, to have a 'sense' of BEING but this quickly dissipates and then the cycle repeats itself. in the end they suffer it!!

[Vali2003]

@Ishanga Ah, ok I understand what you mean better now. 

I think I read about what you explained somewhere in the CWG series. 

I am very much focused on the material right now, and I do struggle with being. I’m currently reading The Book of Not Knowing. Maybe that will help me a little bit, but in general I believe that the being aspect will have to stay lower-priority for me right now, as I’m working on getting my survival in order.  

Do you believe that getting access to BEING should be my no.1 priority, despite being more focused on survival at the moment?

I’m not asking because I’ll blindly follow your advice, but I’m just interested in your perspective on balancing being and survival. 

[Ishanga]

4 minutes ago, Vali2003 said:

@Ishanga Ah, ok I understand what you mean better now. 

I think I read about what you explained somewhere in the CWG series. 

I am very much focused on the material right now, and I do struggle with being. I’m currently reading The Book of Not Knowing. Maybe that will help me a little bit, but in general I believe that the being aspect will have to stay lower-priority for me right now, as I’m working on getting my survival in order.  

Do you believe that getting access to BEING should be my no.1 priority, despite being more focused on survival at the moment?

I’m not asking because I’ll blindly follow your advice, but I’m just interested in your perspective on balancing being and survival. 

Well there is saying "Stomach Empty only 1 problem...Stomach full then there are 100 problems" lol...

If Survival, like real Survival (I have no food, shelter, cloths, security, etc) is an issue, then higher up aspirations like BEINGNESS are less relevant, as they should be, because if Your Dead or Injured/disabled in someway, how can one become Aware of BEINGNESS if it is not already a natural Experience?

So one has to make the priorities.. But there is way to become more Aware of BEINGNESS while trying to Survive and live another day or just living like the avg person making a living going to and from work everyday...

First try to focus on NOW awareness of things, even if doing the most mundane chores or work, focus on it intensely as you can, bring focus on body senses, where the mind wonders off to (bring it back), this is vital...Then Acceptance of What Is, the situation at hand and such.. Acceptance doesn't mean I have to like it, just accept it, this will drastically reduce Stress responses and levels.  3rdly learn to Respond to Life Situations, choose how You respond to stuff, don't react, reacting is unconscious action, responding is conscious action, Consciousness brings about Clarity, Clarity allows You to live life at Ease no matter what is going on around You, if that is in place then BEINGNESS comes naturally!