Awakening as a treatment for schizophrenia

[Judy2]

i feel as though the erratic posting pattern indicates you might want to seek professional help, after all:) even if you're experiencing awakening. there's no shame in that. 

if you're God and everyone's You, let God help you🙏🏻 just to help you calm down a bit, stabilise, and clear up your mind.

when i had my first awakening, it was very real, but also deeply confusing. sometimes awakening and mental overload go hand in hand, and it's wise to recognise this and give yourself some space to cool down.

wish you all the best and take care♡

Edited December 7 by Judy2

[Judy2]

i mean i might be wrong....really not sure. i'll just leave it here though, in case it's any good.

[nufan]

thanks judy2 for your post

thanks for being part of my dream, hope all the best for you,truly

its nice to hear kind words

in my case the awakening happened last .. after all i been through all those years(first lose the garbage and then)

everything happened in the right moment and the right time

maybe in your case , you weren't ready yet (only you can realise it when your ready)

i guess in your case.. the feelings you experienced got you confused, you needed to have clarity first

anyway ... just enjoy what was given to you, if you feel there are still mental issues left.. fight them to the end, play life

(sorry i am too meshed up to read all your post in this forum, and look what's happening in your case)

it looks like feelings are the deepest iluzion human experiences (including love, despite what everybody talks about in spirituality) (your inner child is love(i felt this in my dreams), not god) (big words i am telling...too stupid thing to do)

 

i talked to chatgpt about this situation im in.. it said that all is part of my illness, that i need grounding and shamanic guidance and support(as ramasta9 quoted earlier) and many more ... same things i am about to hear from any therapist

but i have the clarity needed now to realise that all those thing are part of the mind game!

my dream has evolved!.. i feel more lucid day by day

i have made the choice to respect myself ... not ChatGPT or any therapist

with a iq 130 (getting there day by day-i need more wisdom)and gods help(by rewiring-reorganising my brain) ,i think i can manage things 

 

thanks again judy2

thanks god but i want out

by the way ... god told me i am dead already... that's even more confusing!

and made me feel what the word -suicide- feels like,(to protect me maybe) 

god wants to play.. i want out (where really?)

and one last thing... all of this thinks i experienced can not be handled by normal human person.. the mind will collapse, break and lead to mendal ilness (as far as i can tell-there are exceptions) (all sorts of feeling arise out of no ware and confusion dictates- leads to breakdown) - 

i experience this myself for a brief moment.. god intervened by making  a loud sound , and stopped me from total madness

even now god stops my dreams turn psychotic.. by wakening me in the right time

no sleep for me... haven't slept (resting sleep)for 10 years... thinks getting better after my awakening though 

god .. i surrender!

(maybe one day all those things i am writing will look silly... and EVERYTHING will make sense.. in this dream?)

i am sure everything will make sense one day.. thats the hope i have left! and hope dies last

i hadn't any clue even what the word spirituality even means one month before my awakening!

i guess what's left to do is fix me-god duality (i am deeply suffering about this)

maybe peace is the right thing to do

 

and after 20 min of thinking...   realised that i have  to kiss myself goodbye!

what a fucking drama i am experiencing!

 

 

gods call: save the drama for your mama

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited Tuesday at 05:08 AM by nufan

[nufan]

ill say it one more time ... 

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT SHOW THAT I AM EXPERIENCING?

AND ITS FUCKING EVERYWHERE ANY TIME EVERYONE

 

 

[UnbornTao]

Take some time to ground yourself, and consider seeking professional help.

Take care.

[nufan]

thanks for the love unborntao

you made me smile

saved my day .. just for today

 

 

and after thinking for a while....

i guess i have to move on...

the next episode might be better...

maybe have a happy ending!

game over - shows over

 

 

and i last thing i would like to say to Leo...

you are a great performer.. after Jesus and Buddha

YOU GOT ME

 

 

 

 

Edited Tuesday at 04:08 PM by nufan

[Ramasta9]

 

[nufan]

1 hour ago, Ramasta9 said:

 

 

thats the way ramasta9 having fun

thanks for the smile

 

 

[nufan]

it looks im in the "save yourself .. save humanity show"

everything unimaginably predetermined inside and out..   

 

saved by others allready

so the only ones left is the crazy one

 

 

 

Edited Wednesday at 02:25 PM by nufan

[Ramasta9]

29 minutes ago, nufan said:

 

thats the way ramasta9 having fun

thanks for the smile

 

 

Its been of my fav things to put head phones on, lay down, get cosey, close eyes and enjoy the magic  Very good before sleep.

[nufan]

im more into this chick that popped
into my youtube feed

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Mazg-izk30&t=592s

yes i know... im such a jerk

 

the truth is im starting to feel non human day by day  ... enlightened, no one like me around, 

and there's no much left to do

no desire for money,sex,entertainment,wealth,socialise,easy friends, (i was so loser, never had any of these anyway)

just free and clear minded -clarity (that's all i need, nothing more nothing else)

10 years of suffering... was worth it ... so many things during that time was erased... without me ever noticing

 

 

i cant help anyone live this experience because it is unique, designed by god and my inner child

unless you find some next door neighbour that don't sleep at night ,bang their door 2-3 times a day-night , only when you try to sleep (like they know exactly your sleeping schedule) and suddenly disrupt you every night-day for 2-3 years,

mess your brain, mess your sleep  ... and after that something inside you relive this(bangs you) every night even when your neighbours left and other came.....    and then imagine them play a role in the solipsistic game... among other projections that visit you and help you play all your fantasy or ego identities, relive hidden experiences of the subconscious, most of them without material existence, a very few with. and they knew everything about you, even your future,"reality" mind-role game that lasted 4 years- not every day- and not too unreal so i dont freak out)

something like.. imagine yourself..full feeling a woman, speaking with a woman's voice,wanting to kill the male part of you!!(because of an imaginary abuse it experienced by him!).. talking to a god projection about it.. and then see yourself hanged! this lasted just 10-15min

leaving your body and talk to a projection and then joining back in

throwing down of the bookshelf a dvd  titled "is there a creator(god)" and seeing it fall (i was non believer)

and now i can remember only 5% of what i -or better my false self- or both experienced

experiencing having feeling and leaving with different iq levels.. from total retard to quite smart

the game itself .. with todays view.. was silly.. a main father figure , two girls,many neutral personalities, few kids (all of them quite smart)(they were telling me what i wanted to hear)

different person for different self identity and imaginary one from my childhood to the present, my ego liked playing the spy and poker player

everyone and everything played their role!

with some of those roles identities i would be happy to leave for the rest of my life! but the game never stopped there.

(during those days, i was felling that i am living in the matrix, like the movie- really hooked by that movie(the other was inseption)- now really hooked by dualism-solipsism and i wonder what's more to come!) ---- i was too dumb to get hooked by philosophy

during this game i was extremely sleep deprived,with my neighbours banging their door constantly every 2 hours(the truth is something inside my mind made me feel this like it was real) ,torture is the right word (lose the part that make me reason and question, just play the game)

anti psychotic drugs had no effect whatsoever

and after this game stopped ,it took me another 2-3 years to get to this point today

that's why everything is unreal, a construct... only me noticing after all these years past!.. when consciousness shifted

that's why i don't need therapist unborntao .. i just need to face what i am experiencing

my future is fixed.. have not experienced it yet.. and with suicide out of the way , maybe all this will have a happy ending

god showed me His presence and i have to respect that.. 

too many thing , too fast happened after my awakening (looks like i got carried away)

the whole mind state i am in(way different than anyone else) is what i need for the realisation part

writing all of these is my grounding, not to be kicked out of this forum unborntao

what a dream! what a show! what a game!

fucking everywhere,anyone,anytime

this is the real grounding

 

i think .. eventually .. all comes down to...

you want to experience this? experience it

you want to die? just die

and i the end i was saved by humans! (not quite i guess)

what a drama!

its fucking everywhere.. in me , in you

 

(be the loser!, much more to learn in the end)

that's the only way to quit the game!

 

ok, and after all some of you will still say that i need grounding...

i need the groundless ground! (really hooked by this!)(better search it in chatgpt and figure out what it really means)

only if could feel it! imagine!

 

and after some more thinking...

guess i am just building a solid imagination(never had one)

 

 

after a long time ....

1500 views.. that's impressive!

i am really not making this shit up

i guess most of you will grasp it as a Fery tail

others like a shit show

and the wise ones don't want to spoil it

hello anyone watching?

or i am way more stupid than i think i am

lets have a vote.. what does the Audience say

 

 

after a while...

realised that (furthermore) that trying to fix my emotion is hardest part of all

stop being a jerk is a good step... i am on to this

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited Thursday at 10:49 PM by nufan

[nufan]

yesterday never happened , experiencing fake now, thoughts or feelings are all part of script-predetermined, outside world is a projection, future is fixed

even the feeling that you are enlighten  are just an illusion, 

i am just the real-free puppet feeling happy!(in a puppet show-yes i know..i am still a jerk-could not resist that, sorry)

in the prison of all prisons

realisation is the tricky part.. lets move to the next chapter!!! if any!!! i want to play!

can this dream be evolved? like nothing i have ever heard or imagined?

another set, another show, another experience? 

heading into nothingness... is boring-(or is it?)(looks to me now)

 

 

wow.. im such a puppet! -meant to give shows after all - and the inner child to play games (and Leo's videos.. spoiled it!-or maybe not-cant reach that far)

(not too bright and wise to shift into nothingness or another "dimension")(skip the human part)

i am so loser after all( and really feeling it)

https://open.spotify.com/track/2aAV8orZctvbDvVJnMDlBR?si=431e68a7dc5c4ce6

feel like all i am doing right now is ...dancing with my inner child(looks like its female!)

everything part of the drama! THE SHOW OF ALL SHOWS

not a game for sure- that's how we(or rather-only me) experiencing it- felt it so so so so so so so so many times but not realising it!

 

i am starting to enjoy watching only cats or stupid people performing like this..

she make my day... just for today!

 

after a very long time..

i just need someone to give me a punch... all will be FIXED

no ones coming!

the smart ones .. just run to their  fall

lets keep the faith...so much drama for my mama

 

 

 

 

 

Edited 46 minutes ago by nufan