Oyashiro

This is true for me, and I am not saying it because I am psychotic right now, but because I have a lot of personal experience with psychosis. I tend to steelman everyone and everything - even total nonsense. And when I am deeply psychotic, any and every thought that pops up in my head is treated as truth. While it may seem counterproductive to personal development, I think temporarily putting yourself in a state where you steelman everyone and everything you encounter can have its benefits. If you permanently put yourself in such a state, you will end up like me and start having breaks from reality. However, I think everyone could use a break once in a while. If I am listening to the news and hear about a deadly police shooting, I could easily start to believe that I was shot to death by police. If my therapist is talking to me about how he cut down a dying tree in his yard, I start to believe that I am a dying tree in need of being cut down. If I am reading about a character in a book, I can easily start to forget that I am not that character.

As soon as I started watching the video, the first thing that popped into my mind was the words of Ram Dass where he suggests that we should all look at each other as if we were looking at trees.

Insightful story. Your post reminds me of the quote "Everyone is a genius, but if you judge a fish by his ability to climb a tree, he will live his entire life thinking his is dumb." Like for with intelligence/dumbness and goodness/badness, I think maturity/immaturity don't exist as a linear spectrum but in some sort of crazy higher dimensional space where each human can be both very mature and very immature simultaneously. For example, I consider my brother to be overall way more mature than me because he's so developed when it comes to running his own business, dealing with finances and constantly appeasing and making friends with super entitled and annoying or rude customers. But as soon as we order food and his food isn't perfect according to his high standards, there will be a massive meltdown for multiple hours with constant screaming and doors slamming.

Of course we can talk and use grammar. I've watched the video and and several other videos about this scientist. Metaphysically speaking, I feel like there were two striking things he said. First, he stressed that attention is more important than anything else. Second, he said, "I felt like I was becoming a bird." Good science is when boundaries dissolve. Law of non-contradiction be dammed.

Nice find; poetry and lyrics can reach more people and perhaps reach more deeply. There's something very divine about drama-and-agenda-free people who write poems and lyrics that are beyond powerful and profound, yet simultaneously maintain that they are just a normal person and there's nothing special about them. People who can talk elegantly about god without knowing they are talking about god, gurus who have no idea they are gurus, highly developed people who have no idea that they are highly developed and always consider themselves to be exactly the same as everyone else. People like this exist, but are so easily overlooked and ignored and underappreciated.

If you present yourself as someone who is really "with it" and if you show you are capable of taking care of your basic needs and have a lot of awareness when it comes to yourself - having a good ability to clearly express yourself - most doctors will be extremely open to at very least lowering all your meds - but only one medication at a time. Keep in mind the last thing you want to do is suddenly stop taking antipsychotic meds, as from my experience this almost always leads to a quick and massive break from reality - even if you weren't fully psychotic to begin with. If you can show your therapist and doctor that you are always improving yourself and thriving in some ways, but also suffering from the side effects, they will be at least open to the idea of slowly coming off all your meds. However, they will always do this at an extremely slow rate, and it could take years. Probaly not the news you wanted to hear... I fully realize how tormenting it is to live on antipsychotics though.

Thank you for posting that video; it gave me a little hope, but scared me a little at the same time. I'll look into it more and talk about it with my doctors in the future, but I am not overly optimistic. I've been taking antipsychotics for over a dozen years straight and at this point I've forgotten what it feels like to not be chemically lobotomized - but without the meds I just stop inhabiting the same reality as everyone around me. Naturally, after watching most Actualized videos multiple times over, I want to entertain other realities, but I also have obligations to stay grounded in this reality.

From my personal experience, Actualized has been vital for me in terms of helping with psychosis, making sense of things, keeping me truthful with myself, and various other things. I was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia quite a long time ago. My doctors and family and I strongly suspect I have autism too. I realize Leo often has many warnings when it comes to people with mental illness, but I honestly think that, for some of them, Actualized can lead to an extremely positive transformation. I am not claiming Actualized cured me; however, without it, I would be a much worse, toxic person who hates everyone and everything. If it weren't for me going down the Actualized Pipeline, right now I'd most likely be drowning in conspiracy theories, paranoia, hatred, and overall just being a net negative in the lives of everyone I interact with. While Actualized is not a panacea for mental illness, it can still be vital to increase the quality of life of sick people. Of course, it should not be forced on sick people.

Leo's taking back conservatism. Funny enough, there are quite a few conseratives in my life who exhibit the good qualities of conservatism a little more than the bad ones.

Ah yes, I think I can understand at least some of your suffering. I've been forced to take antipsychotics and forcefully injected with them a lot. I have a long history of antipsychotic-induced akathisia. From what I've read, the Soviets would inject people with drugs to induce akathisia as a form of torture in gulags. While the doctors who inject you with these drugs think they are helping, for some very unlucky people they are just chemically inducing torture. Then they see you acting restless and being upset due to the constant torment, and respond by giving you even more antipsychotics which just makes it even worse. Even assuming you are lucky and do not develop akathisia, the other side effects are more than bad enough. Abilify was the worst offender for me.

The question concerns me more deeply than it should because I've had multiple breaks from reality and during most of these breaks I've entered what I can only assume to be various hell realms. During one I can remember being in a wheelchair rolled down a long hallway of a psych ward with dozens of yelling demons around me. It felt more real than pretty much any other state I've been in. Anyway, towards the end of the hallway they were rolling me down was a horizontal string of pure white light - exactly at the level of my neck. They rolled me through the string of light and my head fell off into my lap and I catch it with my hands and pass out. No idea what happened after that, but it was one of the realest moments I've ever experienced. The only thing that felt more real was when I can only assume I entered a heaven realm and stayed within it for a few days; it was exactly the same as the way things are now except I was acutely aware that all my problems and all problems in general are illusions, and I could feel nothing but love. But like I said, I only remained in this state for a few days. When I fell out of it, the first thing I did was try to seek it out again, which of course failed and left me feeling lost and as doubtful as ever.

I have a question... If common survival-enabling knowledge is very viral aka memetic, do you think it could be said that actual truth is somewhat antimemetic or perhaps fully antimemetic? This could just be me, but it often seems like the closer to truth something is, the less memetic it is.

This is just my way of doing things, it might not work for you, but: You should believe that you are the one and only unenlightened being in the whole of existence, and every other being in existence is perfectly enlightened and your precious guru. This includes every single person here on the Actualized Fourms, Donald Trump, everyone you've ever hated or found lacking in development: all of them are perfectly enlightened, and you yourself are the one and only being in reality who is lacking in development and unenlightened. All of the seeming bad behavior and seeming lack of development of others is really just a massive performance for your own benefit - fuel for your own development. You must use this massive performance to better yourself. You will likely never be enlightened - but this is fine for you to accept because you are living in a world where literally every being except for yourself is perfectly enlightened and constnatly showing you endless lessons.

Deepest truth.

I think this could be true and that you are onto something. Neurodivergent people can be capable of almost magical things when their needs are met. It's uncommon to see a neurodivergent who is truly thriving, but it's also uncommon to see anyone who is truly thriving these days. (Thriving by the standards of Actualized)