Met a girl I like but haven't talked for a year

[Consept]

Its not a desperate situation but just curious what the opinions would be. 

So I met this girl while I was in spain on holiday. Met in a bar talked, had good banter, danced, kissed a few times. It was more a fun vibe than a deep connection  but I felt that there could be potential for a deep connection. 

I asked for her number at the end of the night but she didnt give it, we had already exchanged Instagrams though. I felt she was hesitant about the number because obvs she doesnt know me well, but I also thought is that a sign of not as much interest?. 

Anyway I tried to meet up with her, but she only had 2 days left and she was staying with a friend. I actually met both of them with a friend of mine and he was connecting with her friend. Problem was he didnt follow up with her or respond to her text, I feel like the move would've been a double date, build up comfort, have fun etc. 

So she basically said she couldn't meet up but we should meet when were both back on London. Reading back the convo just now, its not actually that bad but I think because she wasn't making an effort to meet I just felt like ill leave it the ball in her court. 

Now basically a years passed and im considering sending her a message. Ive been seeing girls in the meantime which is why I wasn't that bothered with her not getting in touch, but I am curious if theres anything there. 

So question is, is this a good idea and what's the best way to go about it?

I should also add she was suspicious of whether I had a gf or wife or kids lol. Which could be why she wasn't as forthcoming as she could've been, not sure what happens to her before 

Edited Saturday at 10:33 PM by Consept

[theleelajoker]

9 hours ago, Consept said:

Its not a desperate situation but just curious what the opinions would be. 

So I met this girl while I was in spain on holiday. Met in a bar talked, had good banter, danced, kissed a few times. It was more a fun vibe than a deep connection  but I felt that there could be potential for a deep connection. 

I asked for her number at the end of the night but she didnt give it, we had already exchanged Instagrams though. I felt she was hesitant about the number because obvs she doesnt know me well, but I also thought is that a sign of not as much interest? 

Potentially a million reasons for that. Not wanting to get attached, she doesn't feel ready for sth deeper, she just wants superficial fun, not interested enough, acting out of impulse, loyal towards friend etc etc 

9 hours ago, Consept said:

Now basically a years passed and im considering sending her a message. Ive been seeing girls in the meantime which is why I wasn't that bothered with her not getting in touch, but I am curious if theres anything there. 

So question is, is this a good idea and what's the best way to go about it?

 

IMO: just get in touch and find out. 

I had a similar situation, met a girl at a festival, some stuff happened but no sex. Maybe half a year later or so I text her "hey what's up want to do sth?"

Did not end up to be a big love thing (not a good fit) but we met a couple of times and it was fun for while.

Expect nothing out of it, you can only gain even if it's only getting the question "should I?' out of your head.

The girl back then asked me "why get in touch with me after such a long time?" I said "Dont know, you crossed my mind, so I thought I just do it". She was satisfied with the reply.

Good luck 

 

Edited 20 hours ago by theleelajoker

[aurum]

7 hours ago, Consept said:

So question is, is this a good idea and what's the best way to go about it?

I'd say it's unlikely to go anywhere, but it's also pretty low risk.

You could take a shot through IG. I'd probably start with commenting on her stories if she posts those, just to get some familiarity going again.

[Consept]

1 hour ago, aurum said:

I'd say it's unlikely to go anywhere, but it's also pretty low risk.

You could take a shot through IG. I'd probably start with commenting on her stories if she posts those, just to get some familiarity going again.

Actually another point i forgot to put in is that she often, views and likes my stories and posts, which i guess has given me the impression that im at least on her radar, so a message wouldn't be completely out of nowhere. But youre right in that it's low risk however she responds. 

@theleelajoker thanks for the advice and sharing your experience bro 

[aurum]

8 hours ago, Consept said:

Actually another point i forgot to put in is that she often, views and likes my stories and posts, which i guess has given me the impression that im at least on her radar, so a message wouldn't be completely out of nowhere.

That changes things a lot.

She would not be doing that unless there was at least still some interest on her end to continue things.

Just build a little bit of rapport and then shoot your shot.

[museumoftrees]

Yeah message her bro, I don't understand the whole reflexion about it lol

[Jannes]

@museumoftrees You can loose some social ego when you act in a deperate manner. 

But this also holds you back, the fear to fuck up.