Are all families f*cked up?

[koops]

The question is this: Do you know ANY conscious family?

 

Yesterday I was chatting with my sister in our garden about this.

The sun was shining and the breeze was whispering softly and the conversation went deep.

So the question came: "Do you really know, not just a conscious family, but a funcional one?"

Crickets..

The conclusion was obvious.

No.

But why....?

 

I told her that now that my gf and I have a baby, we are watching some podcasts and reading some books about parenthood.

She loved the idea but when I tell this other people they looked surprised, like is a weird thing. Some even mock it.

 

So this is the question. 

Do you personaly know ANY conscious family?

Or did you came from at least a heathy family?

Which mistakes you think fuck up families (aside from the big obvious ones)? 

Edited September 2 by koops

[pablo_aka_god]

I've known some pretty good loving families. they are less common but they exist. the world is full of people conscious people with great lives! they are less common but I've been lucky enough to meet people and families like this. People who are winning are often low profile, they don't go around telling everybody on the street how well they are doing. but people with shitty lives love to complain to get attention

Edited September 2 by pablo_aka_god

[Sucuk Ekmek]

1 hour ago, koops said:

 

Which mistakes you think fuck up families (aside from the big obvious ones)? 

False beliefs against other family members. Especially if they are doing business together.

 

I think conscious family is a problematic term.

Like why would I make babies if I want to create a conscious family, adoptation is way to go. Also things like bloodline requirement and states approval for legitimacy  of my family seems very unconscious for me.

I mean by nature a family has to be somewhat unconscious, I suppose, but end goal shouldn't be let's all be conscious.

I don't know I prefer a healthy family over a conscious one.

I am just a single guy tho

[Carl-Richard]

On 2.9.2025 at 3:23 PM, koops said:

Which mistakes you think fuck up families (aside from the big obvious ones)? 

Happenstance. Take the Stoltenberg family: father and mother were famous politicians, son ex-prime minister and ex-NATO general secretary, one daughter ex-head of the Norwegian Institute of Public Health and current head of Norwegian Research Centre AS (NORCE), the other daughter worked in television and stuggled with a heroin addiction and died of a drug overdose (according to her sister, not the official story).

Edited September 4 by Carl-Richard

[Natasha Tori Maru]

31 minutes ago, Carl-Richard said:

Happenstance. Take the Stoltenberg family: father and mother were famous politicians, son ex-prime minister and ex-NATO general secretary, one daughter ex-head of the Norwegian Institute of Public Health and current head of Norwegian Research Centre AS (NORCE), the other daughter worked in television and stuggled with a heroin addiction and died of a drug overdose.

Agree.

I went through some severe trauma - no need to go into it - but in the realm of systematic (years) long psychological abuse and physical abuse. I ended up with a TBI. All my siblings went through similar (although I ended up with the worst physical issues).

I now work as a construction manager and co-manage the business with my Dad. My sister works an accounts job, has severe anxiety, depression, addiction issues and eating disorders. She can not function without outside assistance. My brother has struggled with weed and other substances his entire life as a result. He cannot commit to anything and has job hopped living in squalor for years. Been evicted and kicked out etc. My youngest brother is head carpenter and set to take over the business (with me) when my Dad retires. He owns his own apartment and is with a woman who has a child to another man. But he takes the little one on as his own.

We endured under similar circumstances.

I think personality/genetic variants must come into it.

I am the oldest.

[Carl-Richard]

4 hours ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

Agree.

I went through some severe trauma - no need to go into it - but in the realm of systematic (years) long psychological abuse and physical abuse. I ended up with a TBI. All my siblings went through similar (although I ended up with the worst physical issues).

I now work as a construction manager and co-manage the business with my Dad. My sister works an accounts job, has severe anxiety, depression, addiction issues and eating disorders. She can not function without outside assistance. My brother has struggled with weed and other substances his entire life as a result. He cannot commit to anything and has job hopped living in squalor for years. Been evicted and kicked out etc. My youngest brother is head carpenter and set to take over the business (with me) when my Dad retires. He owns his own apartment and is with a woman who has a child to another man. But he takes the little one on as his own.

We endured under similar circumstances.

I think personality/genetic variants must come into it.

I am the oldest.

There are things about a person or family that you would never be able to predict in a million years. You know the person who died? She met with Fidel Castro, Daniel Ortega and flew in his private plane. She danced with Bruce Springsteen on stage.

I went to the same high school at the same time as two artists who are now both world famous (both have top songs on Spotify with more than 1 billion listens). One of them took the same music classes as me, just one year above me.

Edited September 4 by Carl-Richard

[Elliott]

On 9/2/2025 at 9:23 AM, koops said:

Do you personaly know ANY conscious family?

Very few. But, a lot of healthy ones.

Quote

Or did you came from at least a heathy family?

No

Quote

Which mistakes you think fuck up families (aside from the big obvious ones)? 

Ego

Edited September 4 by Elliott

[Elliott]

"All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way" is the famous opening line of Leo Tolstoy's novel Anna Karenina