My anima doesn't like nice guys

[meta_male]

26 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

In fact I don't have any problems talking to girls, except that I don't meet enough of them

Why are you not meeting enough you think?

[Schizophonia]

17 minutes ago, meta_male said:

Why are you not meeting enough you think?

Because I isolated myself due to very severe insomnia for several years. Right now I'm studying remotely from a small town where I basically can't get a job.

I also invested a lot of time, talking for nearly two years, with someone who lives far away and who turned out to be asexual.
I allow you to think that I'm a simp or something lol what can I do about it.

This fits in well with some limiting beliefs I think I have, for example, sometimes I don't understand why a girl would want me.
A kind of reverse god syndrome, like, okay, I may not be ugly, but I'm still just a tiny human, why would a girl want to ride on cowgirl and then want to hug, be romantic with a pathetic little human ? It sounds like a movie, a scam.

I'm significantly exaggerating here to make it clearer, but I can see how there's a delusion like that embedded somewhere in my belief system.

Edited August 26 by Schizophonia

[meta_male]

1 hour ago, Schizophonia said:

I also invested a lot of time, talking for nearly two years, with someone who lives far away and who turned out to be asexual.
I allow you to think that I'm a simp or something lol what can I do about it.

Sounds like you got stuck in something that confirms your "I'm not wanted" belief..? So even when you try you're not met with enthusiasm and your subconscious takes that as proof that you're just another number. And if she's asexual then there never was real desire reflected back at you anyway.

1 hour ago, Schizophonia said:

but I'm still just a tiny human, why would a girl want to ride on cowgirl and then want to hug, be romantic with a pathetic little human ?

There are some pathetic little humans out there, you don't come across like one, bro. She'd want that simply for the same reason you do too...

[Sugarcoat]

19 hours ago, Schizophonia said:

I describe my current maya, karma, call that as you want yea.

I hope i didn’t sound condescending or something when I wrote that it sounded almost like fairytale. I am also in the illusion of self and in my own version of maya so it’s something we share

[Sugarcoat]

3 hours ago, Schizophonia said:

, why would a girl want to ride on cowgirl and then want to hug, be romantic with a pathetic little human

I think you generally attract people around your own level. And I think you’re AT LEAST average human (whatever that even means, you’re not too common imo you’re a bit unique actually in good way). So you’ll probably attract girls around your level (when she gets to know you, at first glance you can attract all kinds of trash ofc, anyone could) . So even if you’re a little pathetic human, she is too! 

[Schizophonia]

2 hours ago, meta_male said:

Sounds like you got stuck in something that confirms your "I'm not wanted" belief..? So even when you try you're not met with enthusiasm and your subconscious takes that as proof that you're just another number.

I dont have this believe.

Quote

And if she's asexual then there never was real desire reflected back at you anyway.

There are some pathetic little humans out there, you don't come across like one, bro. She'd want that simply for the same reason you do too...

Yes

[Schizophonia]

12 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

I hope i didn’t sound condescending or something when I wrote that it sounded almost like fairytale. I am also in the illusion of self and in my own version of maya so it’s something we share

No pb it takes more than that to hurt me eheh

11 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

I think you generally attract people around your own level. And I think you’re AT LEAST average human (whatever that even means, you’re not too common imo you’re a bit unique actually in good way). So you’ll probably attract girls around your level (when she gets to know you, at first glance you can attract all kinds of trash ofc, anyone could) .

Thanks

 

You have a bit of a mean/violent way of sorting lol 😹I don't think in terms of trash or low-level.
In any case we attract people who are like us yes.

11 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

So even if you’re a little pathetic human, she is too! 

Yea but it's linked to my vision of masculinity, but nevermind I don't operate with this limiting belief, it's something that hangs around somewhere in my belief system that could limit me, but it's not central at all, I found it interesting to talk about it.

[meta_male]

6 hours ago, Schizophonia said:

Right now I'm studying remotely from a small town where I basically can't get a job

How do you survive without a job in France btw? There must be some type of work you can do in your town? Petrol station, checkout etc. Might be less isolating? Just a thought.

[Schizophonia]

14 minutes ago, meta_male said:

How do you survive without a job in France btw? There must be some type of work you can do in your town? Petrol station, checkout etc. Might be less isolating? Just a thought.

I live with my parents.

I've had temporary assignments here and there but it's rubbish, I'm going to take advantage of the seasonal workers leaving their positions to see if I can find one.

[meta_male]

@Schizophonia What you study? You could easily work and study in the french part of Switzerland and make some good money 😏

[Schizophonia]

5 minutes ago, meta_male said:

@Schizophonia What you study?
 

Philosophy, remotely.

Quote

You could easily work and study in the french part of Switzerland and make some good money 😏

Blond swiss cheese feeded women. 😏

I can't work at the border like this.

 

Edited August 26 by Schizophonia

[theleelajoker]

8 hours ago, Schizophonia said:

Thanks

1)The world is a projection.

 

2)What happens on the macro scale is the same phenomenon as what happens on the micro scale, in a fractal model.

 

3)To think that women like x is to admit that the part of myself I project onto women (emotional world) likes the part of myself I project onto men (the law, the symbolic, the structure, etc.) when it is x.

4)In my case, x tends to be toxic, meaning I could have a super cool daily life, but I tended to prefer a boring, if not neurotic, lifestyle, with anger, rumination, etc.; the effect of this phenomenon can be projected as "women like jerks," omitting, of course, all the evidence to the contrary.

 

5)But in reality, it's me who has a masculine side that's too toxic for my anima, that's what I tend to be. If I want girls who like "nice" men, not to be dismissed lol, I have to put myself in a situation, an order, a daily life that corresponds to this frequency.

Again, I'm not even that nice lol, I'm sometimes told I'm dry or something, but my attention shifted to that, and that's what motivated the thread.
There are plenty of possible fixations.

 

Have you ever felt something one could call love towards another person?  Forget about sex, or kissing etc,  can be something much more simple. 

I think of a situation where you walk, sit or lie somewhere with a someone else. You look at him/her, you totally accept this person as he/she is, you wouldn't change a tiny little thing. You know this person is "not perfect", can't do some things, doesn't know some things, is maybe insecure or scared or something else. But it doesn't bother you. Not at all. Quite the opposite. You actually find these traits somehow charming, it's what makes this person unique. You can relate to him/her, you feel a connection and you're not judging. You simply enjoy the presence of this person.  You fully embrace and accept him / her exactly how this person is in this moment.  If given the chance to be with anyone else, or anywhere else, you would choose to be with this person -  right here, right now. 

You know a situation like this?

If yes, you have this feeling towards yourself as well? At least sometimes?

If not, how does it feel to give the same experience of acceptance and love to yourself instead of the other person?

 Or you don't feel like that at all, neither others nor yourself?

Curios if and if yes what maybe happens to your micro-macro projection about girls, toxicity, maya, and your anima if that feeling arises towards yourself and others. 

 

 

[AION]

Relationships are about emotions.  Not about all of these intellectual ideas. Although I’m a fan of Jung and Freud when I’m engaged in relationships I do put them aside and use direct experience and emotions as my guide. I think you also misunderstand anima/animus. If you are a guy you can’t say my anima likes nice guys  unless you are gay. Your anima is your unconscious projected onto females. It is a projection by default and not the reality of female nature. 

[Natasha Tori Maru]

@Schizophonia

Hmmm you strike me as quite aware and interoceptive.

I try to give my perspective and advice knowing I have a different way of doing things.

My personal bias is toward experiential work and testing for real feedback in concrete reality, as a way to confirm insights I have had.

I think for your unique brand of human - your current attention is on interception and pattern recognition. Concepts, frames, ideas.

If I were in your direct shoes I would be attempting to empty this out and really jump into society, work, and interaction with others. I would be testing out these insights every day in contrast to my direct experience. Obviously I have some views and frames on anima/animus and integration - but I feel you have a nice little addiction to concepts you are feeding. So my advice might be to just strike out into the world with as much authenticity and lowered fear as possible. You need to experience the direct friction that arises with in social domains - because that friction will be the area you need to investigate to integrate any shadow you currently feel is coming from you. Pay attention to when you are feeling something intensely in a situation - there is self and ego there, attachments, shadows.

I could be wrong - maybe you do get into societal domains for hours every day. 

I do very much approach the world having loved and immersed myself in concepts and philosophy. But I had to throw it all away and jump without fear. 

Sort of like learning the system, then going out and checking reality so you can get direct feedback - and then with that wisdom knowing exactly what rules can be bent or broken with little consequence...

Anyway not sure where I am going with the above - shooting in the dark really  

I would start with throwing away all beliefs - go out in a state of not knowing - because those beliefs you have are like a cataract over reality. They will be completely inhibiting you from seeing the true message needed to be received.

Also - are you really clear on what you are seeking/trying to achieve at this present moment? If you are unclear about what experience you are chasing - you hamstring yourself  

[Sugarcoat]

14 hours ago, Schizophonia said:

You have a bit of a mean/violent way of sorting lol 😹I don't think in terms of trash or low-level.
In any case we attract people who are like us yes

Toxic people, I don’t judge them, it’s just a label for simplicity sake

14 hours ago, Schizophonia said:

 

 

Yea but it's linked to my vision of masculinity, but nevermind I don't operate with this limiting belief, it's something that hangs around somewhere in my belief system that could limit me, but it's not central at all, I found it interesting to talk about it.

You can recognize you’re a little pathetic human without it having a negative charge in it emotionally

[Schizophonia]

12 hours ago, AION said:

Relationships are about emotions.  Not about all of these intellectual ideas. Although I’m a fan of Jung and Freud when I’m engaged in relationships I do put them aside and use direct experience and emotions as my guide. I think you also misunderstand anima/animus. If you are a guy you can’t say my anima likes nice guys  unless you are gay. Your anima is your unconscious projected onto females. It is a projection by default and not the reality of female nature. 

I didn't say or suggested that; anima is just my feminin side.

It's not even the sharing of the same phenomenon between two polarities, as if I were 70% masculine and 30% male.

In the Lacanian epistemiology that I love, the anima would be the imaginary order, the emotional, the movement, and my masculinity the symbolic, with which I identify because I am a heterosexual man.

The more I embrace, feel, my anima, the more I am in fact masculine because I am projected into the symbolic.
A bit like a camera, there is where the camera can film and where the camera is; the more I film the feminine, take it as an object, the more I am in the place of the masculine.

[Schizophonia]

@AION @Natasha Tori Maru @theleelajoker

There's no point in telling me about a contradiction between "theory and practice". I'm writing this thread for the pleasure of intellectualizing things; that's the point in itself.
I don't have a problem in practice.

[Schizophonia]

5 hours ago, Sugarcoat said:

Toxic people, I don’t judge them, it’s just a label for simplicity sake

You can recognize you’re a little pathetic human without it having a negative charge in it emotionally

Ok

[Sugarcoat]

If you could summarize this post in a few sentences what would you write? (If you want)

[Schizophonia]

@Sugarcoat I saw the comment.

You don't want other actualized women be interested eh 😾

26 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

If you could summarize this post in a few sentences what would you write? (If you want)

Yes.

What I think about women is a projection of my relationship to the internal phenomena that I associate to them (emotional...)

If I don't allow myself to be emotional and my life is boring, I'll think that women are distant, if I'm angry, that women are annoying or even hysterical, if it's generally negative, that women like bad boys, etc.

Edited August 27 by Schizophonia