Self-Improvement advice for young people mega thread

[Hojo]

@Carl-Richard Thats how it feels to someone with cancer. Thats why they don't go. If they just say I have it and cry, they will accept it and go.

Please pardon my miss of a capital letter.

The body to a man is schrodinger's cat.

 

Edited June 5 by Hojo

[zurew]

1 hour ago, zurew said:

This might be garbage, but this sometimes works for me - I would just say try to feel (not think) into what your best version would do in this given moment right now. Even if you have 0 idea what "best version" means for you, you will probably have a general  rough intuition about it and you can start to get into that headspace, whatever that headspace is.

Also sometimes one big issue is that you are in storytelling mode. "I should have done xyz , I should have achieved xyz , I should have xyz skills, by now". This creates a lot of unnecessary pain. It doesnt matter what your evaluation is , what matters is what you do with what you have right now.

The other issue is trying to create always the best possible conditions for any given action - you search for having the right feeling, the right amount of money, the right people etc - you know its like the guys who have a 4 hour morning routine and they pretend that they are productive, even though they could have spent those hours actually focusing on the things that makes a difference  - you can use your intuition here, because if you are open, it will tell you generally what you are afraid of and what you are delaying.

 

If you have no idea what you want to do, you still probably have some idea about  some  of  the character traits that you want - take steps that will gradually transform you into the person who embodies those traits. So when it comes a job the question isnt necessarily "What am I getting here?" - the question is (as Jim Rohn said) Who am I becoming here?

Edited June 5 by zurew

[Hojo]

@zurew Yes there are no should and shouldn't, Gods doing life, not us. You cant not smoke if God makes you smoke. You cant self improve, its a scam. You can only fight against what God is doing. Sometimes you get the shit end of the stick sometimes you get the good end. If you get the shit end and try to make it the good end then God says get back on the shit end, you cant have a good end if the shit end keeps trying to be the good end.

The irony of this forum is its a self help forum that openly says the self does not exist to improve on.

Edited June 5 by Hojo

[Carl-Richard]

10 hours ago, Hojo said:

The irony of this forum is its a self help forum that openly says the self does not exist to improve on.

That's just more solipsism delusion of conflating relative and absolute domains. You can improve the self even if you transcend the self. There is no contradiction there, only if you think in black and white NPC terms.

[Hojo]

@Carl-Richard Self help implies God is doing something wrong with reality. Prove free will. Prove you are not an npc. Oh you cant, just like solpisism, the truth.

Whatever happens is the will of God wether you think you can improve on it or not. Now please stop insulting me everytime I say something. I feel like I am being harassed by a mod.

Its not fair to be able to insult me when I cant insult your stupid ideas back at you. You are toxifying the server. At least rebut the claim with something.

Please tell me how you self improve the self to transend it? How can you do that when the self doesn't even exist?

My argument is you do it by ignoring it, you have no control and must accept what happens.

Edited June 6 by Hojo

[Someone here]

@Carl-Richard I don't appreciate your advice .I don't like the tone .I opened up about a serious thing such as potential cancer (as serious as it gets )and you give me this reply? 

 

[Carl-Richard]

2 hours ago, Someone here said:

@Carl-Richard I don't appreciate your advice .I don't like the tone .I opened up about a serious thing such as potential cancer (as serious as it gets )and you give me this reply? 

Excuse my righteous anger, but do you think cancer is a joke that you can use for people to treat you nice and give you attention? If you think you have cancer, the last thing you should do is be an idiot about it. You have more room for that with other things. Go get checked.

Edited June 6 by Carl-Richard

[Aaron p]

On 02/06/2025 at 5:09 PM, Someone here said:

 I had sex exactly 5 times . 3 of them were phone sex with hookers who you pay them charge cards and you get to fuck them through the phone lol. And two times with a girl who fucked me with a strapon in the best night of my whole life but that's a story for another day .

Hahahaha niceee.

On 02/06/2025 at 5:09 PM, Someone here said:

I’m in college studying business..but I don’t know what I want to do for a career. These are supposed to be the best years of my life

Actually just be mindful that the younger years can be some of the worst, especially for men. Women star at the top as their value decreased over time and a lot of men typically start very low (unattractive, poor, underdeveloped etc.) and work towards increasing their value over time. 

In fact, the 20's can be some of the hardest years. You've spent your entire life up until this point having mandatory social atmospheres in school and college. As soon as you leave that and become a proper adult all of the easy mandatory social networking disappears and it's completely on you to fund yourself (a lot of the time) and to manually cultivate the social connections for yourself. 

You've essentially been in an incubator tank for  20 years and you've now been released. And that incubator tank can be designed quite poorly to prepare you for the real world in a lot of countries. 

So don't lose heart about the fact you're getting some difficulty now, remember that as a man your value can only really go up. As long as you're doing the right things and making the right moves it can only get better overall. (And it can get really good if you know what you're doing and just keep connecting with powerful and resourceful and wholesome people who can teach you how to go about the right things).

On 02/06/2025 at 5:09 PM, Someone here said:

Also my so called spiritual work lead to me having no sense of self and I don’t know who I am anymore. I'm just conscious being and probably the only conscious being and I'm here and now in this present moment observing this universe aaaaaand...well..that's it? What now lol

Just be careful. If you've ever played elden rain or souls games you know that you need to carefully select which attribute combination you want to scale up in. If you dump all your XP into one and neglect the others your character will have major vulnerabilities. Balance my friend.

Everybody is so different so unless you're speaking with a one to one coach we're not going to be able to give you exact advice. This mode actually be a good idea. Even if you get a terrible life coach or someone who is cheap or free (maybe someone who is trying to become a life coach and looking to get free clients) It's better than no life coach. 

If you have the power and capability, I think psychedelics are really powerful for just completely forcing you to meet reality which can result in a massive existential shift making you more focused. It's kind of like shocking the mind into action or at least recognition. 

It can be super difficult to get traction in general as a young person I know this. You also have other strategies available to your life just completely moving away from your family and throwing yourself completely into the deep end. But once again this only works for certain people and you must do what you know you can. 

Generally implementing strategies that are ridiculously Powerful is a good method for kickstarting anything any young person's life particularly a young man. Just be mindful not to do yourself damage or put yourself in danger. Actually scratch that put yourself in a little danger, just don't get yourself klled lol 😅

 

 

My methods are just exposure therapy, I just throw myself in and forced myself to swim. You have to learn how you solve problems everybody does a differently slightly. Dedicate yourself to the practice of learning who you are and what you are... And not in a specifically spiritual way I mean in a normal way, because ultimately if all you focus on is ego dissolution then you're going to have a very malnourished life. You have to have a healthy ego that is completely healthy and formed before you can transcend it effectively. Find who you are in the subjective social egoic realm. 

Also... Don't believe or disbelieve Leo. But particularly, don't believe him.

[Someone here]

18 hours ago, Aaron p said:

Hahahaha niceee.

Actually just be mindful that the younger years can be some of the worst, especially for men. Women star at the top as their value decreased over time and a lot of men typically start very low (unattractive, poor, underdeveloped etc.) and work towards increasing their value over time. 

In fact, the 20's can be some of the hardest years. You've spent your entire life up until this point having mandatory social atmospheres in school and college. As soon as you leave that and become a proper adult all of the easy mandatory social networking disappears and it's completely on you to fund yourself (a lot of the time) and to manually cultivate the social connections for yourself. 

You've essentially been in an incubator tank for  20 years and you've now been released. And that incubator tank can be designed quite poorly to prepare you for the real world in a lot of countries. 

So don't lose heart about the fact you're getting some difficulty now, remember that as a man your value can only really go up. As long as you're doing the right things and making the right moves it can only get better overall. (And it can get really good if you know what you're doing and just keep connecting with powerful and resourceful and wholesome people who can teach you how to go about the right things).

Just be careful. If you've ever played elden rain or souls games you know that you need to carefully select which attribute combination you want to scale up in. If you dump all your XP into one and neglect the others your character will have major vulnerabilities. Balance my friend.

Everybody is so different so unless you're speaking with a one to one coach we're not going to be able to give you exact advice. This mode actually be a good idea. Even if you get a terrible life coach or someone who is cheap or free (maybe someone who is trying to become a life coach and looking to get free clients) It's better than no life coach. 

If you have the power and capability, I think psychedelics are really powerful for just completely forcing you to meet reality which can result in a massive existential shift making you more focused. It's kind of like shocking the mind into action or at least recognition. 

It can be super difficult to get traction in general as a young person I know this. You also have other strategies available to your life just completely moving away from your family and throwing yourself completely into the deep end. But once again this only works for certain people and you must do what you know you can. 

Generally implementing strategies that are ridiculously Powerful is a good method for kickstarting anything any young person's life particularly a young man. Just be mindful not to do yourself damage or put yourself in danger. Actually scratch that put yourself in a little danger, just don't get yourself klled lol 😅

 

 

My methods are just exposure therapy, I just throw myself in and forced myself to swim. You have to learn how you solve problems everybody does a differently slightly. Dedicate yourself to the practice of learning who you are and what you are... And not in a specifically spiritual way I mean in a normal way, because ultimately if all you focus on is ego dissolution then you're going to have a very malnourished life. You have to have a healthy ego that is completely healthy and formed before you can transcend it effectively. Find who you are in the subjective social egoic realm. 

Also... Don't believe or disbelieve Leo. But particularly, don't believe him.

So first of all thanks for this response and input mate ..appreciate it 🙏. 

I want to extrapolate about the points you quoted . 

First of all I want to let you know that Leo is my role model in life (maybe also CR7) .I actually privately messaged him a life coaching request and he just replied coldly "I don't do coaching anymore ". I also have publicly on the forum asked him to talk to to him on Skype or WhatsApp or anything but he completely ignored the message twice .then I tried a third time with provoking statements " omg Leo I didn't know that you are so much introverted ". He didn't respond either . You know these weird times when Leo ignores your post directed towards him ? Double that by a 10000× and you get my feeling .

About saying these are supposed to be the best years of my life is because when the fuck else am I going to enjoy life ? The more you age the more you lose zest for life . I'm already feeling it and I'm only approaching my 30s. I don't wake up hungry to eat the world with my energy so to speak .I wake up like "oh wow I had a series of vivid crazy dreams..now it's time to show up for the craziest one 😂 "

You see people start to get "old " starting from age 40. After that life literally gets frozen . You can't make new neural pathways in your brain . If you are addicted to something it becomes especially difficult to quit .it becomes especially difficult to change your habits or routine.and when you get to 50s and 60s then it's time to think about death and what the fuck has this life of mine been all about . So it's only in 20s and 30s where you can get them money.. cars.. girls.. yachts and shit . Now or never for me .

About putting the cart before the hourse by pursuing spiritual things instead of working on practical life . I want you to know something..I spend my entire day thinking what the hell is anything. Its literally out of my control . You notice me posting countless threads on the spirituality section about topics from this ilk . It just doesn't make sense to me at all why I exist or really anything at all. I've been lucky to stumble upon Leo Gura and Robert Adams..also maybe Osho and Peter Ralston .these people I feel share the same wonder I have towards existence and that's why I'm here doing what I'm doing .

 

[Aaron p]

You've a good heart bro. Remember just, leo is a king pin supplier of wisdom, he doesent have time for every small quarrel and street beef that's why he has mods to be his lieutenants. And ultimately he has already spoon fed us too much already, you have to do some of the leg work yourself and contemplate. 

To me it sounds like you need to implement a method that I call "smash it". Which is where you essentially come to a point where you recognize that you're not going to make significant progress without seriously altering the structure of your situation. You just have to make some dramatic moves and they have to be Central to your entire Modus operandi. You need a central nervous system overhaul. To me it kind of sounds like psychedelics could be useful to you. While your pussy footing around yourself and making small gains, you're really not going to make progress. You got to smash it up, break it down and crush it into a fine powder so that you can reshape it powerfully (your life).

Edited June 7 by Aaron p

[Aaron p]

Also btw @Someone here  I don't know about you but I think my 40's to my 60's are going to be the best years of my entire life. I intuit that I'll probably have to wait till then to start seriously pursuing enlightenment...rn I'm only playing games

[Carl-Richard]

 

 

Edited June 15 by Carl-Richard