(shrooms, LSD) - How to work through trauma on psychedelics

[Tboy]

I've had a couple of trips recently that have led me to the same place. One was on Mushrooms and the other LSD, I have been working on a core trauma for a while now, its a shame-based trauma that I have come to realise has ruined my life and my families lives, it affects our behaviour so deeply and I'm the only one who has become aware of it. 

The thoughts and emotions of this trauma can be very hypnotizing (though I have let go of a lot of it already), basically a lot of self-attacking thoughts come up and I essentially find ways to resist any pleasure or love that comes my way and I get myself into a more and more uncomfortable state. 

I had a mushroom trip that was very profound, during which I felt like I broke through into some new level of consciousness. Shortly after that part of the trip, however, the trauma pattern came up and I got lost in it for hours, it seemed to be a backlash/resistance to the new consciousness I'd experienced.

A few months later I experienced a very similar thing on LSD, a beautiful first 3-4 hours of the trip and then dragged back into the trauma pattern and this time hastily reaching for dopamine hits like a drug addict. 

What should I do with this? Do I lower my dose? How do I use these substances to work through this trauma that is coming up? Do I stay at the same dose and if the trauma comes up should I just work to remain aware of it and keep myself conscious despite it? Should I meditate through it? Or contemplate it?

 

I'm just looking for different opinions on this, preferably from people who have some experience working through trauma on psychedelics - ideally not from people who haven't, thank you. 

 

And @Leo Gura as well if you have time to provide your thoughts that would be very helpful, thank you.

 

I hope all of your journeys are going well

[theleelajoker]

My experience with trauma and psychedelics is:

• It did help - sometimes and to some degree. Other times my system was not able to process properly. (first time LSD was breakthrough experience, first time Ayahuasca was intense but not 'healing" for me)
• Doing it all by my own was not the solution. Is part of your trauma that you try to do things on your own because there is shame or because you don't think anyone else can help you or sth similar? If yes, I would take some distance from psychedelics for a while. Built relationships with people that are on a similar journey. Life will support your when you set the intention 
• I had more lasting effects with long meditation retreats then with taking psychedelics over years many times. The difference for me is that with the first, you learn to let go while with the latter you are kinda "forced to let go"
• I have seen people doing psychedelics many times and they are still the same. Others benefited. Everybody is different. Trust your intuition. Be patient. Learn what your body tells you sober & while tripping. Gradually learn where your intention is right here & right now and gradually learn how to bring it gently within your body 
• Integration after trips is key. In my experience: Less tripping, more integration efforts is good. Have professionals or very knowledgeable people around you after trips and express what has been kept inside 
• When you trip: Do you have some you trust, sme you feel comfortable around, someone that can provide a loving, accepting presence for you? If yes, cuddle while tripping. Maybe sounds strange but give it a shot if it resonates 

Edited June 18 by theleelajoker

[samijiben]

I agree what @theleelajoker said.

Focus in on the resistance that is left within you, use it as springboard to dive into deepest aspect of yourself.

 

[Tboy]

thank you so much for sharing guys

[Tboy]

One of my problems right now is that I do need to build more relationships - I'm not bad at making friends but the issue is finding people who are actually growing in their lives so are a good example for me. I find it hard to find these people, I can be more resourceful though. 

[Tboy]

I also do do a lot of meditation as well so yeah doing both

[theleelajoker]

 

15 hours ago, Tboy said:

One of my problems right now is that I do need to build more relationships - I'm not bad at making friends but the issue is finding people who are actually growing in their lives so are a good example for me. I find it hard to find these people, I can be more resourceful though. 

• Express yourself as authentically, as openly, as honestly as you can
• See what happens

 

[Lynx]

As someone facing the same chanllenges with trauma healing I can say that psychedelics will lighten up your trauma and what you need to work on but they won't do the work for you,
 

so you may experience more of your trauma during the experience or the days after, this is not a bad thing though, you're just getting showed what you need to change, everything about it gets enlightened so you get a better understanding of the mechanism of your trauma, but then it's up to you to take the steps to change it, and it can be good to get some help depending on your issue.