How do you cope with man-children?

[Alexop]

There was a thread about treating women like children but I wasn't really on board with it mainly because of subjective experience bias. I live in Sweden where most men are not actually men. They were brainwashed from a young age to ignore the masculine-feminine polarities. 

Due to this madness, they were not properly forged into men and my experience was the women were actually more mature to some extent. 

Yes, in a sane society, Leo's statement makes more sense. Women not focusing on difficult survival tasks because they let their men take care of that instead is cute and healthy. But what do you do in a society who cancels the shit out of you for even trying to mention such idea?

I am deeply introverted, if I am not intellectually or emotionally stimulated and being forced to listen to small talk nonsense instead is like torture for me. I have lots of fun with Swedish women because we stimulate ourselves emotionally but the guys are unbelievably boring due to the years of indoctrination into being good boys and not bothering others with opinions or hurting feelings with spice and jokes without knowing the person well.

How do you guys who live in post-modern "nice guy" environments deal with other guys?

I personally treat everyone like children unless proven wrong.

 

 

Edited May 21 by Alexop

[BlueOak]

To keep it simple: You coping with other people would be a feminine quality at best, or a victim mentality at worst depending on the approach.

A masculine quality would be more single-minded in focus. Note I don't mean you harm others, but you take care of your own business regardless. I suppose if you wanted to engage more, you could put yourself in positions of leading or at least showing a way of life by example.

Not that I consider anything wrong with a certain amount of feminine qualities in a man, I think excessive polarities are detrimental to social order, culture and cohesion, because life is not black and white. At the moment, people are becoming very fragile, largely because they are living online in a cerebral experience of life, as opposed to just coming together socially and living in flesh and blood communities where things even out over time and things drift toward a collective norm naturally. This isn't something that takes a lot of effort in the way human beings are designed to live, a parity tends to happen when people live more socially and naturally, and then institutions are designed around that norm, rather than the other way around.

Edited May 21 by BlueOak

[Alexop]

@BlueOak by coping I mean dealing with them in daily life because you have no option. Personally I gave up making guy friends, but I still deal with them at work, at parties etc. 

If I take them seriously, I get angry/disappointed. Since I gave up trying to make friends and treating them as children it worked much better for me. I take them from where they are at and see what they can offer, if they prove my skepticism wrong, good for them. But I interacted with hundreds of guys in my whole life and 99% of them disappointed me. We don't build men anymore, we build idiots.

I also grew up in the online world, I also had traumas and so on, but I fixed myself, and that is what a man does . You don't do that and follow a sheep herd instead, you are not a man. I don't give a shit about their vipassana retreats, about their theories, about any of that shit. It is just a cope they do to mask the fear, laziness and unconsciousness.

 

Edited May 21 by Alexop

[SwiftQuill]

Men are betacucks these days and it's ugh. But I don't blame them. Society demonizes most forms of masculinity these days.

Nowadays the ideal male is:

• Feminist
• Soft spoken
• Respectful
• Asexual 
• Politically correct

And if you dare go outside the ideal norm by one milimeter you are called a "toxic male".

And the hypocrisy is that the same people who were against the traditional masculine role, for being "oppressive" and "restrictive", rather than ending that role, they created a replacement for it. It's completely reversed but in terms of structure the situation is the same.

In the past, if you didn't dominate your wife, have big muscles and have a moustache, you were a "weak man".

Nowadays, if you watch Joe Rogan, or express your interest in women, or you swear a lot or like something violent and edgy, or are politically incorrect, you are a "toxic male".

So really I neither blame the betacucks, nor the cuckservatives. It's just society's stupid standards.

Just fuck these restrictive ideas of how men should be. Be authentic.

And also I suggest giving every individual a chance before dismissing them. Don't assume all men are betacucks. You might be going a bit far to start off treating everyone as a child.

Edited May 21 by SwiftQuill

[Alexop]

12 minutes ago, SwiftQuill said:

 

And also I suggest giving every individual a chance before dismissing them. Don't assume all men are betacucks. You might be going a bit far to start off treating everyone as a child.

I never say never man, they have my respect and I don't see them as idiots, I see them as a byproduct of a sick society. 

Actually, women don't like them, but they have no other option. What would be the other option? A macho jerk that manipulates and bullies them?

Lost the count of swedish/expat women who told me how boring men are. And I didn't even push the subject, it is a deep frustration they have.

[Raze]

What you’re describing isn’t a man child. Children are wild and love to provoke. 

[BlueOak]

Living online comes out in the often lack of tolerance toward others, but also in the neutering of the masculine and feminine natural polarity you are speaking about. In simple terms: Men and women act more like men and women when you put them together and let nature take its course. It's biological, energetic, etc, its expressed by socialising. You won't get the interplay of social aspects or gender polarities you are seeking if people are not social, or living together and relating. Do you understand? It's all the same problem.

But also when people isolate, they often lose tolerance for other perspectives in that isolation, because they are not interacting with it much. Not only tolerance but a healthy social framework. Whereas if we were for example in the room together talking, there would be a million different ways our perspectives might intersect and build a rapport, as opposed to flat text over an internet screen. Which is more like a slice of consciousness or life than an accurate representation.

As for people acting like children, I think part of that is because you've grown up, and some people haven't. There are childlike aspects in most people, that's been true forever, we are just more aware of it now and can highlight or observe it in a person and why.

If you want a good way to fully engineer the changes you are seeking for lasting change, rather than just preaching to the same choir or remaining in perpetual opposition, look for or encourage a liberal version of it. Some people touch on that here, but it's obvious that'll be the subsequent step when society has adjusted again (or just swung the opposite way as it always does), although it'll probably be outside of my lifetime. Otherwise what happens is one side of the political spectrum will remain antagonistic towards you, when instead they could be working with you for example, or ensuring that change is grounded to remain.

Edited May 21 by BlueOak

[Alexop]

2 minutes ago, Raze said:

What you’re describing isn’t a man child. Children are wild and love to provoke. 

Good point. It is an insult to children.

[Raze]

23 minutes ago, Alexop said:

Lost the count of swedish/expat women who told me how boring men are. And I didn't even push the subject, it is a deep frustration they have.

Yeah but it’s kind of their fault. Had they been behaving differently they’d be complaining the men are too aggressive and demanding reforms to get to this point again. 

[BlueOak]

I want to also say you can see the problems inherent in getting men and women into physical dating situations now, (hopefully from a few perspectives if you watch them) but that's the key to solving all of this, only it needs to be weekly or daily interactions as opposed to once every few months or a year.

[Alexop]

2 minutes ago, Raze said:

Yeah but it’s kind of their fault. Had they been behaving differently they’d be complaining the men are too aggressive and demanding reforms to get to this point again. 

Lol what do you mean? I mean of course woman's behaviour plays a role in it but still.. when thousands of women say the same thing you start to wonder.

[Raze]

Just now, Alexop said:

Lol what do you mean? I mean of course woman's behaviour plays a role in it but still.. when thousands of women say the same thing you start to wonder.

That’s because society became feminized and feminized them

[Alexop]

@BlueOak  yeah I mean it is not rocket science for why is this happening.

-lack of accountability 

-lack of role models

-lack of challenges 

-lack of proper theory in what a man is and isn't 

-social media/isolation/video games/porn etc...

[Alexop]

3 minutes ago, Raze said:

That’s because society became feminized and feminized them

I love feminine women

[SwiftQuill]

[BlueOak]

14 minutes ago, Alexop said:

@BlueOak  yeah I mean it is not rocket science for why is this happening.

-lack of accountability 

-lack of role models

-lack of challenges 

-lack of proper theory in what a man is and isn't 

-social media/isolation/video games/porn etc...

My life is full of challenge You can always find challenge! I think it would be the adversity to challenge, but the point is taken.

Yeah lack of accountability definitely; that's one thing this period of time is correcting. This generally comes about from an immature parent or absentee parent and/or an overly abusive mother/father who instils a fear of authority as opposed to a respect of it (these are by far the biggest factors).

Parenting classes, alongside financial classes, would completely change society within 80 years, and mean people weren't dealing with issues for 80 years that a basic class at birth could address. Sadly, nobody who holds strong beliefs of any kind, that I've ever seen, is capable of creating a politically and ideologically neutral template for things parenting classes or the education system. 

Role models exist, but i'm going to be straight with you: their perspective is often narrow and so only reaches a certain audience. This is why I mentioned in the last post about the people wanting this, needing to step outside of their own perspective to reach a wider audience. The truth is the people who usually hold rigid or strong beliefs are often bound to them.

More cerebral theory really isn't needed. The opposite is needed.

 

Edited May 21 by BlueOak

[Alexop]

@SwiftQuill i am a feminist then.

90% of men suck

9% suck even more

1% is good 

[Hojo]

Spank them and send them to their room.

Society is teaching men not to be men because its bad then expecting them to magically know what it means to be a man.

Society can't work if men acted like men its literally a cuck device. If a man has a problem he deals with it. If he's in a society he can't deal with it. There is nothing out of a man's hands except what God can do and government cucks him out of doing 

If men were left to their own with no guidance they would automatically become men or die.

We are too feminine cause thats what we were taught.

How to deal with them? Walk away if you cant walk away because they hold you there fight them. If you cant beat them up you aren't a man either.

If society had 50 percent real men it would just collapse instantly so they have to trick you into being a woman's version of a man. That means beta cuck weak sensitive  fragile crying wimpy bitch. Thats where government wants the men of their society.

Then every now and then you can protect them from a belligerent drunk and feel like a man. Or slave your life away and feel like a man.

If you had 50 percent real men you would be scared for your life at all times so be happy you have man children.

 

Edited May 22 by Hojo

[BlueOak]

@Hojo

A far better approach is to wait till you are calm, then punish them. This teaches the child discipline, not anger, which is a quality that will propel their life far beyond anything else you could offer them. Then give a proportionate response to whatever they did so they learn.

Having experienced the complete opposite to what I describe, I can tell you the results leave someone in fight/flight/freeze and reactions which don't differentiate between leaving an item out of place and being truant, or as an adult, receiving an offhand comment and someone throwing a punch. Failing a grade on a test or crashing your car etc.

But discipline, focus and understanding who they are is everything in life, and if you can teach them those three things, their entire life will be beyond what I can describe.

Edited May 22 by BlueOak

[Alexop]

10 hours ago, Hojo said:

 

If men were left to their own with no guidance they would automatically become men or die.

 

This is why I became a man, because my situation was so dire that I either became a man or die. And this si why 99% of men are not men, because this not happened to them. 

Anyway, I don't expect them to know what I know or follow my personal development journey, I just want to have fun, not to feel like I die of boredom around them. I could do that with machos, because they were carefree and had social skills, not like these Swedish wimps who rot in front of a PC all day. With these guys I just politely try to avoid them as much as possible and aim for the girls.

Edited May 22 by Alexop