Using Enlightenment to Avoid Love?

[BlessedLion]

 

[Natasha Tori Maru]

HAHAHA oh my gosh! But isn't this just so true and applicable in this little corner of the internet? Some forum members are GUILTY

This is a great interview touching on the subject in great depth - a confluence that I listened to this, and then came across your post

 

[BlessedLion]

@Natasha Tori Maru What a synchronicity!

Yeah, unfortunately there seems to be truth behind the humor. Pursuing God can sometimes be easier than finding and maintaining a healthy and conscious relationship that not only last long but remains engaging and exciting. Even some of the greatest spiritual teachers who have mastered consciousness, have dealt with divorce, infidelity, and dissatisfaction.

 

I find it for myself as well if I'm honest, and sometimes question if dating and long term monogamy suit my personality. I sometimes feel that relationships as we do them now are actually somewhat unnatural.

 

Romance is a whole other beast!

[BlessedLion]

1 hour ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

HAHAHA oh my gosh! But isn't this just so true and applicable in this little corner of the internet? Some forum members are GUILTY

This is a great interview touching on the subject in great depth - a confluence that I listened to this, and then came across your post

 

Love what he says about "subtraction", i find that so true

[Natasha Tori Maru]

Absolutely, I agree!

I listened to the entire conversation. He had many ways to illustrate spiritual growth & progression in ways I had not thought of.

I particularly give Cory respect for how vulnerable he was willing to be regarding his trepidations regarding marriage and his relationship. Most especially as it is a frequent topic on these forums for men (and women) who do not see the value/point/intention behind marriage. 

I myself fall prey to many of these thoughts regarding relationships. Romantic partnerships have a way of really showing you your S H I T - right to your face!

The one aspect of romantic partnerships that always has me turning to them in favour? Genuinely wanting to share and contrast my experience with another soul. Physical, mental, spiritual. Very very difficult to find another who meets you eye to eye in a multifaced way. Not to mention I personally find conflict and mediation a great avenue for growth. I do not shy away from it, rather, I turn into the storm head on

[Leo Gura]

Using love to avoid truth is more common.

[Natasha Tori Maru]

13 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Using love to avoid truth is more common.

Definitely.

Women fall prey to this more commonly in my experience

[Puer Aeternus]

Very interesting!

 

A long term personal issue I've had is it feels like getting into a relationship will just further dick twist me deeper into material reality to provide for someone else's survival needs. The money, the socialization, etc.

 

Which I'm not necessarily super interested in on my own, I'm more so interested in living out my own values and curiosities. I'd be happy live under someone's staircase like Harry Potter and eat bread loaves and milk for the rest of my life if I could do just that. To me it does seem like the two are at odds, and a romantic relationship would be very detrimental in many ways. And I do focus on that more than potential positives.

 

At the same time, I do want to experience what it would be like. For some reason. I've somehow managed to juke wanting status, money, and children- but not this! Booo! Where do I even find someone who could tolerate such a boringly crazy person like myself bumbling about in the wild. 

 

I wonder how much I am bypassing versus being true to myself. No damn clue, guess I'm just trying to figure it out!

[Natasha Tori Maru]

17 minutes ago, Puer Aeternus said:

At the same time, I do want to experience what it would be like. For some reason. I've somehow managed to juke wanting status, money, and children- but not this! Booo! Where do I even find someone who could tolerate such a boringly crazy person like myself bumbling about in the wild. 

 

I wonder how much I am bypassing versus being true to myself. No damn clue, guess I'm just trying to figure it out!

The bolded above... THE ENDLESS QUESTION.

The question is less present and has less imperative if kids are out of the equation. I myself have never had the inclination. I do have a large family though, so I am socialised to an extent I do not see so much these days (in modern gentrified society). I have had hands in assisting my family in child rearing of all ages.

I have found, with regard to 'bypassing', there are issues you will unravel within yourself that can ONLY be realised in the friction of a romantic partnership.

Perhaps you will reach a phase where you want this, as you have exhausted your ability to explore yourself, with only yourself

All this is very contingent on age - your wants are certain to change!!! Change is the only constant 

Edited Thursday at 06:15 AM by Natasha Tori Maru

[Puer Aeternus]

8 hours ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

The bolded above... THE ENDLESS QUESTION.

PFFFF. So true. The universe really likes to troll me in the most random, extreme, and unexpected ways sometimes though.

 

So who knows 5 years maybe God will have chefed up basically me with a vag in the cosmic kitchen and will just toss her at me for a truly what the fuck moment. I never know! 

 

I must admit hearing people talk about wanting to have families makes me feel like I'm at the Pinnacle of autism sometimes. So many questions around it, so many behaviors that just confuse me to no end. Maybe you know more yourself, since you've been closer to it all! 

 

It is indeed, probably true though. I did fall in love once and it smacked my soul with a thousand life lessons, ow.. it hurt a lot. Because I was a big silly idiot and I needed it. 

 

Which definitely raised my standard- and makes it harder to repeat the process again. I suppose it probably will happen again, sometime. Definitely need to live more life first though! 

[BlessedLion]

17 hours ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

Genuinely wanting to share and contrast my experience with another soul. Physical, mental, spiritual. Very very difficult to find another who meets you eye to eye in a multifaced way.

I think this should be the point of relationship. 
 

 

I don't really vibe with the whole "challenging each other to grow" thing because I've done that enough to myself and I don't need a life coach who triggers me "to grow". If i was to be with a woman it would be for support, feminine energy, sex, fun, and depth, not to "work on ourselves together" or "work through our triggers and childhood trauma" 

Done enough of that, I'm ready to enjoy life. And I def don't want to make a romantic partnership some self-help project. 

[Eskilon]

Enlightenment is Love. It could be said that Enlightenment is big Love.

Human relationships is just refined selfishness.

Why do you love your partner so much but not you chair, or some beggar on the street?

Edited Thursday at 08:49 PM by Eskilon

[Yimpa]

On 5/11/2025 at 1:56 PM, Yimpa said:

You are Love, no matter what state you're in.

14 hours ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

Where do I even find someone who could tolerate such a boringly crazy person like myself bumbling about in the wild.

[Puer Aeternus]

50 minutes ago, Eskilon said:

Why do you love your partner so much but not you chair

I think I could love my chair a little more if I drilled big enough of a hole into it.

[Natasha Tori Maru]

2 hours ago, BlessedLion said:

I think this should be the point of relationship. 
 

 

I don't really vibe with the whole "challenging each other to grow" thing because I've done that enough to myself and I don't need a life coach who triggers me "to grow". If i was to be with a woman it would be for support, feminine energy, sex, fun, and depth, not to "work on ourselves together" or "work through our triggers and childhood trauma" 

Done enough of that, I'm ready to enjoy life. And I def don't want to make a romantic partnership some self-help project. 

I am with you here.

I think this is touching on outlining what a conscious relationship would be

[BlessedLion]

On 5/15/2025 at 8:35 PM, Natasha Tori Maru said:

I am with you here.

I think this is touching on outlining what a conscious relationship would be

For sure