Witness The Unthinkable

[ivankiss]

She said: why are you doing that, that's my job

And I knew right away we were gonna get along really well. 

 

[ivankiss]

Last night, she had an excruciating toothache. You know, the kind that makes you wanna jump out of the window, from the 8th floor.

It's the worst. 

Super intense experience. Far more for her, of course, but for me too. I was having a really hard time seeing her in so much pain, and not being able to do much of anything. Other than speak to her softly words of encouragement and hold her in my arms. 

Pills barely did anything. She struggled a lot, the poor angel, and my stomach was turning constantly, but somehow she finally fell asleep. Then she woke up 3hrs later and went babysitting. 

Yup. She's a rockstar. A warrior.

I don't really belive in accidents. This experience definitely brought us much closer, overnight. We got to know each other on a very deep level, fast. On a soul level. 

I saw how she bites the pain. I saw how she handles hopelessness, devastation, suffering. And it was beyond humbling. It brought me down on my knees. 

This girl... is stronger than a thousand armies.

I pray that she stays out of pain, until she fixes the damage. So far she's been feeling good today. And I'm able to take a full breath again. Hope it stays that way. 

 

[ivankiss]

Polish ex gangsta friend is back from Germany, wants to hang. 

Sure, what the heck, why not. I could use a good friend or two here. And he has proven himself up until now. He has remained respectful and loyal. I appreciate that a lot. Even though we are coming from two different worlds and are probably going in two different directions, I think it's safe to keep him around for now. I do not see him as a threat anymore. I'm far more stable now. 

[ivankiss]

It still keeps getting better and better... 

[ivankiss]

And another giant level up.

She's holding on for dear life. I'm leading, of course. We're both feeling the shift and are coping in our own ways. 

It's a lot and it's fucking fast as fuck. 

[ivankiss]

But it also feels right, natural, steady. 

It's not forced, over the top, or imbalanced in any way. It's great. Just fucking intense. Thrilling. Exciting. Scary. Awesome. 

 

[ivankiss]

In other words: maximum acceleration initiated. 

[ivankiss]

Tomorrow is my off day and we're going out looking as hot as it gets, times 7.

And yes, don't worry, I'll throw you some pictures soon, I promise. 

[ivankiss]

Also, we are running, stretching and exercisezing every morning, and every night. Mostly thanks to her. 

It's fucking great. I feel like a beast!

[ivankiss]

It's getting hot in here... 

 

[ivankiss]

A new fucking era. And just how epic. 

I have achieved more with this girl in a single week than with others in months or even years. It's just working. And we're heading up towards the sky, fast. 

I still don't really know exactly who she is or was, and I don't want to examine her past. What matters to me is that we're rocking it now. That we're staying true. Loyal, committed, devoted. 

There was a match, then straight away mirroring and growth. I don't know how high she can follow me, but she's more than willing to just drop everything and go. She's ready for a new life. A good life. I can tell. 

And that... kind of makes me wanna buy a ring. Yes. I cannot belive I'm saying this, but it feels right. If things stay this awesome for the summer... I'm pretty sure I'm doing it. She's already dreaming about it, I know... 

[ivankiss]

Of course it's better than I can imagine.

[ivankiss]

First fight was yes. 

For you amateurs out there, I'll let you know, in order to have a happy and long lasting relationship, it's not enough for you to just say that she's right and that you're sorry. Oh no. You must also know to explain to her why she's right and why you're sorry, in great detail. 

[ivankiss]

It's working because now she's vacuum cleaning the apartment in a mini skirt and no panties on. 

[ivankiss]

Jk never apologize it's for the weak. 

[ivankiss]

I'm a good demon I swear. 

[ivankiss]

Yesterday she had 3 seizures. At some point she stopped breathing, and my heart nearly jumped out of my throat. I had to breathe into her. 

Fuck... I don't know if I really wanna sign up for this... 

[ivankiss]

I bow to no man and no God. Only hot, crazy girls. 

[ivankiss]

Lots of baggage... Heavy stuff... But oh so understandable. I'd like to see you not going nuts after learning you have cancer. 

Can I love this girl and take care of her? Would I? Yes. But do I really need that in my life now? Would it slow me down, or exhaust me too much? Would it break me? I don't know man... Let's give it a bit more time... 

[ivankiss]

If you think this is because I still have some unresolved mommy issues, you're wrong. I was abandoned and neglected not just by my mom, but by both of my parents. Yup. I'm that kind of fucked up. And by that I mean badass.