I Dont Like Living Anymore

[street19]

This world fucking sucks. The way its set up. Financially, ethically, etc. Just all of it is bullshit. Im sick of it..

Before you say "oh just meditate",  Logically I get that "I" am not "me", and am literally nothing and everything at the same time, and i've come close to experiencing that.. but so what? At the end of the day its back to my shitty job, around shitty people, in my shitty world, with my shitty habits, shitty relationships, shitty feelings etc etc. Ive been trying to make it better for YEARS now. I've just lost hope.

 

I wish it would all stop for a while. I just want to sleep... For a long time.

Edited May 13, 2017 by street19

[street19]

5 minutes ago, Captain Flint said:

Plan of action:

1. Forget all this spiritual bullshit about "I don't exist", "I don't have free will", "I must be happy in the moment", etc. Because this is just crap. You are "literally nothing and everything at the same time"? WHAT???
2. Get your life back in control. What things do inspire you? Do you want to have lot's of money and girls? GO FOR IT! Screw this forum!!! Or get on your Life Purpose track. Once you get this "man on a mission" feeling - you for once become to see your shitty job as a nessesary step on your mission (if it is really nessessary). 

And only after that may be get back to spirituality. Because what's the point of knowing the core of your very existence while working the job you hate?

Thanks for the reply. Nice to know someone cared enough to reply. 

 

The way I feel about this though.. is just.. why? why would I want to chase any of those things? whats the point? its all pointless..

[Leo Gura]

1 hour ago, street19 said:

why? why would I want to chase any of those things? whats the point? its all pointless.

If it's all pointless, why are you making such a big point of it?

Notice that your theories and your actions/emotions are totally out of wack.

Spiritual theories will not help you. In fact, they'll only make the gap wider, creating more suffering. You have to actually start practicing spirituality. ACTUALLY. Not logically. ACTUALLY.

The fundamental problem here is that you're out of touch with reality. You're living inside a conceptual cage. And of course you feel like a slave and want liberation. But you're confused into inaction and apathy.

If you don't like your life, you can always start over. Go join an ashram, monastery, etc. What have you got to lose? Your life will be thousand times better in a good ashram.

[street19]

12 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

If it's all pointless, why are you making such a bit point of it?

Notice that your theories and your actions/emotions are totally out of wack.

Spiritual theories will not help you. In fact, they'll only make the gap wider, creating more suffering. You have to actually start practicing spirituality. ACTUALLY. Not logically. ACTUALLY.

The fundamental problem here is that you're out of touch with reality. You're living inside a conceptual cage. And of course you feel like a slave and want liberation. But you're confused into inaction and apathy.

If you don't like your life, you can always start over. Go join an ashram, monastery, etc. What have you got to lose?

Thanks Leo. Im making such a big point about it because honestly, im scared. Its messed up. I know im not supposed to feel like this, but whatever I do, it doesnt change, in fact it usually ends up digging me deeper into the hole. Im at the point now where I just want to give up. Quit my job, declare bankruptcy, forget about all my debt (which may or may not be legal), throw away my electronics, leave the country etc... But I really dont think that will "fix" anything... Or maybe it will, but either way its just to frightening.. Im stuck, as you said, in a cycle of inaction.

 

Im only 22 btw. Joining a monastery is something ive dreamt about, but im not sure where I would even start... It just seems like a huge change, which, I know I NEED, but god its frightening man!!

Edited May 13, 2017 by street19

[Leo Gura]

@street19 Yes, it's frightening. But again, what have you got to lose?

Where do you start? Google your nearest monastery. They take new people all the time. Easy-peasy. I'd do it myself if I had nothing going for me.

A healthy environment can change a lot. It won't do the inner work for you, but it can put you on track so you can start doing the inner work.

Your only real problem is that you've lost touch with yourself, nature, and with BEing. Mainstream society has discombobulated you. That can fixed faster than you'd think if you really put your heart into it and exit mainstream society for a while.

[Truth Seekah]

 

[Guest username]

@street19  You might want to talk to @Sri McDonald Trump Maharaj. I believe he joined a monastery for a while.

[eskwire]

2 hours ago, street19 said:

Ive been trying to make it better for YEARS now. I've just lost hope.

People often say this and the reality is they haven't done much of anything to change.

Look at how afraid you are to go live in a retreat. You're scared of a RETREAT. Makes it pretty clear you haven't actually tried anything all that intense or crazy or probably anything with real seriousness. 

Nobody asked to be born. But you're here. Welcome to the Terrordome - go fucking look at the beautiful sky. That's the point. 

[AlwaysBeNice]

A healthy environment is really important. 

People are consciousness transmitters and receivers (with all their being/beliefs-thoughts/words and action).

For evolutionary purposes people are used to wanting to fit in really badly, so if you are not careful and or are ruled by unconsciousness (to various degrees), your attention could wander to pretty much about anyone in your environment and try to copy them (to a small or eventually large degree), perhaps not for your benefit, although a more consciousness (more harmonious/higher frequency) should override negative patterns, but there are more things at play like being used to be a follower and taking on that role.

If you don't feel like you are surrounded by higher beings, ignore or lead. If you want to stay with yourself, do self-inquiry/mantra(-/breath meditation), body awareness.

[AlldayLoop]

@AlwaysBeNice Great response, really resonated with me. As a person with Asperger's syndrome, I wanted to especially really fit in in high school. But I always gravitated towards the more unconscious side of the spectrum (few friends, but low quality) because it made me feel comfortable. Kind of like confirming that my negative behaviors were normal or ok.

[pluto]

Only a small amount people in the world are actually living, most are merely existing.

When we merely exist we suffer, when we truly live we thrive!

You are in control, this is your creation.

Ultimately

Edited May 13, 2017 by pluto

[eskwire]

On 5/12/2017 at 9:17 PM, Captain Flint said:

You are "literally nothing and everything at the same time"? WHAT???

It's true tho. 

Edited May 14, 2017 by eskwire