Conservative parents are difficult to have a relationship with

[meta_male]

@Lyubov I can definitely relate. My parents got into a cult and I grew up in that environment. Everything was about control, fear, and following ‘the right way.’ Having conversations with them now is exhausting because they’re so stuck in their beliefs they're unable to see any other perspective. The ironic part: They didn’t want my sister and me to grow up in a toxic environment like they did – yet, in trying to protect us from the world, they built us a custom made straitjacket from hell. The other day, my mom even claimed she was the best mother in all of Switzerland because ‘we were the only children raised in the truth.’ Funny enough, our therapist doesn't agree.

Edited April 3, 2025 by meta_male

[Twentyfirst]

2 hours ago, Nemra said:

The following is weird:

It won't be easy to laugh when seeing how your parents are limiting, controlling, and gaslighting you, as it has a very direct effect.

I can see that clearly but I am not a softie 

2 hours ago, Nemra said:

Parents generally have delusional ideas about how their children have to be when they grow up. But when you confront them, they start to respect you because they don't want to lose you, even if they still want to convince you that they are right.

That's why orphans lead far more successful lives than people who grow up with parents lmao

[Elliott]

4 hours ago, Twentyfirst said:

What did Buddha and Abraham do? I don't know

I am sure later on in life they realized their mistakes. Not saying that guilt makes any sense though. It's all part of the path

Abraham wouldn't even let his son return to his ancestral land. So, buddha and Abraham leaving was "the path" but this guy's isn't?

Oh, please tell us more oh wise one.

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Kids should grow up in a loving home. But if a kid "understands" their parent at a young age it isn't exactly a good sign. A kid should understand a parents lessons later on in life when they grow up and realize the parent did what needed to be done. How the hell is a kid going to know anything anyway?

We're not talking about hating the parent, we're talking about being your own man instead of a 25 year old kid as you still call them for some reason. You're way off into projection.

Edited April 3, 2025 by Elliott

[Elliott]

1 hour ago, Twentyfirst said:

I can see that clearly but I am not a softie 

That's why orphans lead far more successful lives than people who grow up with parents lmao

Are you not Muslim? Muhamed was an orphan, Alexander Hamilton, Andrew Jackson, Simón Bolívar, Edgar Allan poe, Malcolm X, Roman Abramovich.

Edited April 3, 2025 by Elliott

[Elliott]

5 hours ago, Twentyfirst said:

That's a weird thing to bring up. 

There are skillful ways to navigate life and there are unskillful ways. Learn the enlightenment teachings and don't get too sucked into the human drama. Learn to laugh

What "enlightenment teachings" do you follow? Andrew Tate?

Buddhist monks go non contact with their family, even if the family is awesome.

 

Verse 43: Not a mother, nor a father, nor any other relative can do more for the well-being of one than a rightly-directed mind can.

 

329. If for practice one finds no friend prudent, well-behaved and wise, like king be leaving conquered land, fare as lone elephant in the wilds.

330. Better it is to live alone for with a fool’s no fellowship, no evils do, be free of care, fare as lone elephant in the wilds.

 

5 hours ago, Twentyfirst said:

John McAfee married a prostitute assassin sent to kill him and when asked about it he says "Nobody's perfect" 

Verse 61: If a person seeking a companion cannot find one who is better than or equal to him, let him resolutely go on alone; there can be no companionship with a fool.

 

 

Edited April 3, 2025 by Elliott

[Twentyfirst]

33 minutes ago, Elliott said:

Abraham wouldn't even let his son return to his ancestral land. So, buddha and Abraham leaving was "the path" but this guy's isn't?

Completing the path means returning to the ordinary world. And it's how you leave. There are respectful skillful ways to leave than there are loser ways

33 minutes ago, Elliott said:

Oh, please tell us more oh wise one.

We're not talking about hating the parent, we're talking about being your own man instead of a 25 year old kid as you still call them for some reason. You're way off into projection.

Idk what you mean by this. What I was saying it a 5 year old feels like his parent is a ruthless tyrant when the parent won't let him eat spoonfuls of sugar

30 minutes ago, Elliott said:

Are you not Muslim? Muhamed was an orphan, Alexander Hamilton, Andrew Jackson, Simón Bolívar, Edgar Allan poe, Malcolm X, Roman Abramovich.

Lmao. So you think orphans should be the standard and we should restructure society where parents don't exist as more than breeders

4 minutes ago, Elliott said:

What "enlightenment teachings" do you follow? Andrew Tate?

There is only one teacher. The one

There is only one student. The one

4 minutes ago, Elliott said:

Buddhist monks go non contact with their family, even if the family is awesome.

It's how you do it not exactly what you do although the latter is important too

4 minutes ago, Elliott said:

 

Verse 43: Not a mother, nor a father, nor any other relative can do more for the well-being of one than a rightly-directed mind can.

 Verse 329 says that one should live alone like the king who gave up and left the country he had won, and like the elephant Matanga roaming alone in the forest. Verse 330 states that it is better to live alone; there is no fellowship with a fool. 

 

Verse 61: If a person seeking a companion cannot find one who is better than or equal to him, let him resolutely go on alone; there can be no companionship with a fool.

 

 

Ya but you can find more verses about the important of parents so cherry pick all you want

[Nemra]

2 hours ago, Twentyfirst said:

I can see that clearly but I am not a softie

Being tough or soft is your choosing.

2 hours ago, Twentyfirst said:

That's why orphans lead far more successful lives than people who grow up with parents lmao

I see that you have inherited the gaslighting genes.

FYI, delusions work.

Edited April 3, 2025 by Nemra

[Elliott]

28 minutes ago, Twentyfirst said:

Completing the path means returning to the ordinary world. And it's how you leave. There are respectful skillful ways to leave than there are loser ways

Lookup how Buddha left.

Abraham wouldn't even let his son return to Abraham's fathers land.

You're moving goalposts, you said it was foolish for @Daniel Balan to leave his parents.

I'm pretty sure you're just making stuff up out of nowhere.

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Idk what you mean by this. What I was saying it a 5 year old feels like his parent is a ruthless tyrant when the parent won't let him eat spoonfuls of sugar

We're talking about a 25 year old. He didn't say or imply that he left because he was treated poorly at 5, they didn't even raise him.

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Lmao. So you think orphans should be the standard and we should restructure society where parents don't exist as more than breeders

You're moving goalposts again.

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There is only one teacher. The one

Your teacher seems to be terrible, teaching you deceit?

Quote

 

Ya but you can find more verses about the important of parents so cherry pick all you want

Show me even one of a 25 year old following his parents. They teach manliness, being a man not a manchild to your parents your whole life. You help them when they're decrepit, that's it.

Edited April 3, 2025 by Elliott

[Twentyfirst]

23 minutes ago, Nemra said:

Being tough or soft is your choosing.

I never said to be tough. I said don't be soft

23 minutes ago, Nemra said:

I see that you have inherited the gaslighting genes.

FYI, delusions work.

If I wanted to manipulate you. Believe me I could. People who are easily offended are easy to influence 

[Twentyfirst]

15 minutes ago, Elliott said:

Lookup how Buddha left.

He left without saying a word IIRC

15 minutes ago, Elliott said:

Abraham wouldn't even let his son return to Abraham's fathers land.

Okay. I guess it's fine to tell your parents you will wipe your ass with their holy scriptures then

15 minutes ago, Elliott said:

You're moving goalposts, you said it was foolish for @Daniel Balan to leave his parents.

It is

15 minutes ago, Elliott said:

I'm pretty sure you're just making stuff up out of nowhere.

I'm not

15 minutes ago, Elliott said:

We're talking about a 25 year old. He didn't say or imply that he left because he was treated poorly at 5.

Even more reason to act mature 

15 minutes ago, Elliott said:

You're moving goalposts again.

Not really

15 minutes ago, Elliott said:

Your teacher seems to be terrible, teaching you deceit?

All gurus come from the one source. And the student is that guru in another form. The guru is the student and so on

15 minutes ago, Elliott said:

Show me even one of a 25 year old following his parents. They teach manliness, being a man not a manchild to your parents your whole life. You help them when they're decrepit, that's it.

You guys were the ones who brought up religion in the first place, which is a conservative thing to do 

[Elliott]

5 minutes ago, Twentyfirst said:

 

If I wanted to manipulate you. Believe me I could. People who are easily offended are easy to influence 

Do it then, make us believe you should stick with toxic parents as an adult.

[Elliott]

6 minutes ago, Twentyfirst said:

He left without saying a word IIRC

He left his children and kingdom without a leader, with no notice. That's a good way to leave to you, but Daniel telling his parents why he's leaving is immature?

Quote

 

Even more reason to act mature 

Letting your parents disrespect you is very mature.

Quote

All gurus come from the one source. And the student is that guru in another form. The guru is the student and so on

So, you believe in Andrew Tates teachings?

Quote

You guys were the ones who brought up religion in the first place, which is a conservative thing to do 

Moving goalposts, again. 

Edited April 3, 2025 by Elliott

[Twentyfirst]

4 minutes ago, Elliott said:

 

4 minutes ago, Elliott said:

He left his children and kingdom without a leader, with no notice. That's a good way to leave to you, but Daniel telling his parents why he's leaving is immature?

Before he became enlightened he was faced with all the things of his past that haunted him and how he left was one of those things. I forget the name but he called it mara or something

4 minutes ago, Elliott said:

Letting your parents disrespect you is very mature.

Grow thicker skin. Roll with the punches. As if you are some special being exempt from all human discomfort 

4 minutes ago, Elliott said:

So, you believe in Andrew Tates teachings?

Which teachings? He teaches everything from money to politics to women to society 

I agree with some things but obviously not all. Just like with anyone else. I am not 100 percent in the cult and I am not 0 percent in the debunking every single word he says just because he says it in a controversial way

Why are you asking about what I believe?

4 minutes ago, Elliott said:

Moving goalposts, again. 

Sure

7 minutes ago, Elliott said:

Do it then, make us believe you should stick with toxic parents as an adult.

Children without parents always lack emotional control lmao

[Nemra]

25 minutes ago, Twentyfirst said:

I never said to be tough. I said don't be soft

Again, being soft and tough depends on your situation.

25 minutes ago, Twentyfirst said:

If I wanted to manipulate you. Believe me I could. People who are easily offended are easy to influence 

Don't assume.

This whole conversation started because you didn't like how someone can be tough on their parents. Who is the offended and the soft one here?

You are literally derailing and gaslighting.

Edited April 3, 2025 by Nemra

[Elliott]

21 minutes ago, Twentyfirst said:

Before he became enlightened he was faced with all the things of his past that haunted him and how he left was one of those things. I forget the name but he called it mara or something

Andrew Tate's version of that Dahmmapada must be very unique.

21 minutes ago, Twentyfirst said:

Grow thicker skin. Roll with the punches. As if you are some special being exempt from all human discomfort 

 

Letting people disrespect you is so manly and mature.

What do you do Master, go to your mom's, whenever she tells you to of course, and just sit there letting her go on? That's important, to give that to your mother? Or should we beat our parents when they act up, that's what we need!

Edited April 3, 2025 by Elliott

[Twentyfirst]

34 minutes ago, Nemra said:

Again, being soft and tough depends on your situation.

Don't assume.

This whole conversation started because you didn't like how someone can be tough on their parents. Who is the offended and the soft one here?

You are literally derailing and gaslighting.

The people who run away from toxicity are actually the most likely to get trapped into toxicity. They are also the least likely to see the toxicity within themselves. Compared to someone who is less impulsive and less judgmental and more accepting of human behavior. Whatever you resist persists. There is some truth to the whole you deserve better thing only problem is that truth is hijacked to make a quick buck off you and all of a sudden you didn't do anything wrong, they are the devil, and cutting ties from them will create a utopia 

[Twentyfirst]

30 minutes ago, Elliott said:

Andrew Tate's version of that Dahmmapada must be very unique.

I don't know about Andrew Tate but we all go through a mara before full blown awakening. Which is the point of that part of the buddha story. It's not unique it's all pretty similar actually

30 minutes ago, Elliott said:

Letting people disrespect you is so manly and mature.

Not all people but your long term acquaintances or parents. Kids are biologically hardwired to seek approval from their parents even if their parents are disrespectful 

30 minutes ago, Elliott said:

What do you do Master, go to your mom's, whenever she tells you to of course, and just sit there letting her go on? That's important, to give that to your mother? Or should we beat our parents when they act up, that's what we need!

If you can't be a good student you will never be a good master. The whole "I will never treat my kids like my parents treated me" is such a delusion. You'll probably be worse to your kids than your parents were to you. You will be very selfish and the kids will feel it even though you will have a nice smile on your face they won't appreciate it

[Twentyfirst]

1 minute ago, Daniel Balan said:

Just to clarify things. I didn't left my parents because I never lived with them. I was raised by my maternal grandparents since I was 7 months old. And my mother left and went to live abroad with her newly found lover as soon as she was done breastfeeding me. 

So I never left my parents, They have always had separate lives from me. I just cut all communication with them because I deemed that they have nothing to teach me. And I felt that both my mother and father are backward primitive people from whom I can never learn anything. I was the man of the house since my grandpa died when I was 7 years old, and I consider myself as a very mature person. A maturity I developed without ever asking my parents for a dime!

Sounds like your mind is set. I won't try to convince you. But I still stand by what I said that eventually you will come to regret this decision. That's not for manipulation but just my prediction 

[Daniel Balan]

@Twentyfirst Bro! What do you want me to do? Go to my mom and ask her to make me cookies? If they ever need help with something I will help them. I just don't want to speak to them the same way you don't want to hang around bums. I feel like I communicate too much with them I will become a dumb right winger. And that is the only reason I avoid talking to them. Plus I was never the kind of guy who likes to bother people unnecessarily. I don't like to talk that much. I'm a very quiet and I like to be a loner. I avoid people in general. 

[Elliott]

1 hour ago, Twentyfirst said:

 

Not all people but your long term acquaintances or parents. Kids are biologically hardwired to seek approval from their parents even if their parents are disrespectful 

That's feminine, Immature. Definitely not "enlightened" like you imply.

Do you just sit there and listen to your parents? Why?

Is that why you denigrate people on the internet, to get out the repressed rage and shame?

You should just tell your mom the truth, man. That's why you were so triggered by this topic. Buddha says the only way to repay your parents is by getting them to enlightenment, not by babying them. Being soft like that isn't always a good thing.

 

 

 

 

Edited April 3, 2025 by Elliott