My 4-AcO-DMT Breakthrough: Dissolution, Love, and Losing Myself

[ROOBIO]

Hi everyone,

I wanted to share a powerful and honestly overwhelming experience I had recently with 4-AcO-DMT. It was a breakthrough trip that left me with a lot to process, and I’d love to hear your perspectives or if anyone’s gone through something similar.

The Setup

Before the trip, I was in a fairly good mental state and felt like I was ready to dive deeper into myself. I’ve done psychedelics before, but this was a whole new level. I took a solid dose of 4-AcO-DMT with friends I trusted, thinking I was prepared for whatever it might bring.

What followed completely shattered my expectations.

The Experience

At first, it was beautiful waves of color, the sensation of being connected to everything, and a profound sense of unity. It felt like my ego dissolved completely, and for a brief moment, I became one with the universe. There were no boundaries no “me,” no “them,” just existence in its purest form.

But then, I blacked out.

My friends told me I was still conscious, but I don’t remember anything after that initial unity. They said I became uncontrollable completely disconnected from reality, speaking and acting in ways that didn’t make sense. To keep me safe, they tied me up with rope and tape, which I only realized when I came back to myself.

Coming Back

When I “woke up,” I had no memory of who I was, where I was, or even who my friends were. It felt like being reborn into a reality that made no sense. There was no context for life just colors, sounds, and a floating sense of being. When I came back to full awareness, I was shaken. I saw the rope and tape and i broke out if it, and my friends were clearly upset and confused. One of them, in particular, was angry and wouldn’t let me leave the room. I didn’t know how to explain what had happened or what I had experienced because I didn’t even fully understand it myself.

I remember looking at one of my friends and, in that state, I couldn’t recognize him as a separate person. Instead, I saw him as a reflection of myself. This overwhelming feeling of love came over me—not a romantic or sexual love, but an unfiltered, universal love. I wanted to express that love in ways that, looking back, felt unusual and deeply vulnerable. I even tried to kiss him and had the impulse to masturbate in front of him.

This wasn’t coming from a place of sexuality or identity it was like my ego was completely stripped away, and all that remained was raw energy and a desire to connect with myself through him.

Aftermath

Since that trip, I’ve felt scarred by the memory. The lack of control, the blacked-out moments, and the vulnerable expressions of love that went far beyond what I’d normally feel—all of it has left me questioning:

What does it mean to truly lose your ego?

Was this experience trying to teach me something about love, connection, or boundaries?

Why did my physical body act in ways my conscious mind doesn’t align with?

Lessons I’m Trying to Take Away

I think this trip was a reminder of how little we actually control. When the ego dissolves, what’s left are primal instincts, raw emotions, and a deep desire to connect. But it’s hard to reconcile those instincts with how we live in the “normal” world.

It also left me wondering about trust both in myself and in others. My friends tried to keep me safe, but the intensity of the experience and their reaction added a layer of trauma I’m still working through.

I’m trying to process this without judgment, but it’s been tough. Meditation and journaling have helped, but I’m still searching for clarity.

Questions for the Community

Have you ever had a similar experience with ego death or blacking out on psychedelics?

How do you process moments where your actions don’t align with who you feel you are?

What lessons have you learned about love, boundaries, and connection from experiences like this?

Thanks for reading and holding space for me to share this. I’m open to any insights or perspectives you might have.

Edited January 13 by ROOBIO

[Clarence]

That's a very deep experience you've had. I'm sorry I can't give good answers to your questions, as I've not been through anything similar. I've never tripped with people around, and the only time I kind of blacked out was on 5-MeO-MALT. The only downside of this trip was that I couldn't remember much of it, but nothing weird happened. Since then, I've been taking lower quantities of all psychedelics.

Out of interest, as I also take this substance, may I ask what your dose and method of administration were? I also wonder how experienced you are with psychedelics and what your sensitivity to them is usually like.

[Leo Gura]

4 hours ago, ROOBIO said:

they tied me up with rope and tape

Lolz

That's a new one here.

[OBEler]

@ROOBIO have you asked them after why they did that to you?  

[ROOBIO]

58 minutes ago, OBEler said:

@ROOBIO have you asked them after why they did that to you?  

They told me they did it because I had no control. I would walk into things, pretend they weren’t there. From my perspective, reality had become completely hollow. There was no physicality, no substance, no solidness. I felt like I was just a collection of empty colors, sounds, and sensations floating in a void.

This was just before everything slipped away, and I couldn’t remember anything. When I finally woke up, my hands were tied behind my back, bound with ropes, and I was completely shocked.

I don’t trust them anymore. When I woke up and saw my friend's face, I didn’t even recognize who he was. Reality outside of the phenomena was nonexistent to me. My friend was really angry. I then just ripped my hands out of the rope and tape

Edited January 13 by ROOBIO

[ROOBIO]

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

Lolz

That's a new one here.

Yeah was fucking weird

[ROOBIO]

2 hours ago, Clarence said:

That's a very deep experience you've had. I'm sorry I can't give good answers to your questions, as I've not been through anything similar. I've never tripped with people around, and the only time I kind of blacked out was on 5-MeO-MALT. The only downside of this trip was that I couldn't remember much of it, but nothing weird happened. Since then, I've been taking lower quantities of all psychedelics.

Out of interest, as I also take this substance, may I ask what your dose and method of administration were? I also wonder how experienced you are with psychedelics and what your sensitivity to them is usually like.

It was 35mg, and oral.

Yeah I am only going to trip solo from now on. I never trip with people. I am just worried i will blackout and still be moving my body. 

Its the first time this every happened. 

I have had about 20 trips in my life

[Jowblob]

Yeah i also had experiences where you really want to connect to others deeply, but you will be only connecting with yourself and your imagination haha. That's why your loving actions in outer world that reflect the love back at you create nice imagination within you that you can play around with

Edited January 13 by Jowblob