Your Deepest Fears, Share Them With Us

[Vaishnavi]

Mediocrity has to be my biggest fear.

Apart from that, my brother ending up mediocre, not being able to live and explore life, not being able to read all the books I do want to read, not being able to find the truth, dysfunctional relationships, death, loss of loved ones and.. snakes!

[jse]

4 hours ago, MsNobody said:

Before actualized: Death, loneliness, acceptance (aka fit in society models) poverty, so many
After actualized: Live an ordinary life, fall back asleep and dive into Maya, lose my motivation to seek Truth

2 hours ago, username said:

@MsNobody

Don't bullshit yourself. You're still afraid of death.

@MsNobody gave us her serious personal views on a significant question.

@username even if you happen to be on intimate terms with @MsNobody , that doesn't necessarily give you the right to belittle or disparage her point of view, specially in an open public forum.  Adding a smiley to the end of your comment doesn't make it appear any less vacuous or controlling.

[Loreena]

6 minutes ago, jse said:

Adding a smiley to the end of your comment doesn't make it appear any less vacuous or controlling.

It's good you pointed it out. I can't imagine how many people are doing this same thing on the forum. Writing really disparaging comments and then adding a smiley as though it was not meant to hurt. At least be open in your intentions and not be a coward/closet with a smiley. Especially that particular smiley with that weird wink (this one )which is obviously not funny or not even meant to tease, just acting superior. Like get off your midget horse already. Stop acting like you know more than others. 

And the irony of it all is that this is a spiritual forum. And I have seen so many doing this same thing, saying something really crass, insensitive and mindless and then trying to offset the effect by adding that hopeless unfunny smiley at the end... 

They think they're being too smart. I don't even use that smiley anymore. Stopped it long time ago after seeing how people are abusing that smiley here. 

[Guest username]

@jse @Loreena I'm sorry my comment seemed inflammatory, belittling, or disparaging in anyway. That's not my intention at all. 

 

I don't think of myself as anyone's superior and I'm not sure if I come across that way in general or if this particular comment seems to have any sort of malicious intent. 

 

Based on the comments I'm getting I see two possibilities:

1.My intentions weren't communicated adequately.

2.I'm actually being narcissistic and aggressive but other people are more aware of my real intentions than I am.

 

Unless I am deeply, deeply unaware of my motives I can assure you it was the first. I apologize that my intent wasn't well translated online but I didn't even consider that it would come across as condescending or rude. I've been on this forum for a while, so I figured people would get a sense that I'm not one to try to hurt others.

 

Thanks for the replies though. I can see that I'll have to be more careful about what I say in the future as it can be easily misconstrued. 

 

Edit:  Just to clarify, I wasn't joking either. I do think she's deluding herself (I'm not claiming to be omniscient; I could be wrong). Leo calls us out on our BS when he sees it. I figured it would be appropriate for us to do it with each other. I'm open to people doing the same to me. Perhaps I don't have his credibility so I'm perceived as a troll instead of crass self-help guy.

Edited May 6, 2017 by username

[electroBeam]

2 hours ago, Lai said:

And I also think you would not be as rude in a face to face conversation.

If you really weren't afraid of death i.e. enlightened, would you get offended by some stranger you don't even know, and never seen before?

See, this isn't projection, its just deductive reasoning. It could be wrong, but unlikely.

[jse]

12 minutes ago, electroBeam said:

If you really weren't afraid of death i.e. enlightened, would you get offended by some stranger you don't even know, and never seen before?

See, this isn't projection, its just deductive reasoning. It could be wrong, but unlikely.

@electroBeam no fear of death and enlightenment may not necessarily be the same.
Note also that pain and death are two different experiences.  A painful death is something to be truly feared.

[Guest username]

49 minutes ago, Loreena said:

It's good you pointed it out. I can't imagine how many people are doing this same thing on the forum. Writing really disparaging comments and then adding a smiley as though it was not meant to hurt. At least be open in your intentions and not be a coward/closet with a smiley. Especially that particular smiley with that weird wink (this one )which is obviously not funny or not even meant to tease, just acting superior. Like get off your midget horse already. Stop acting like you know more than others. 

And the irony of it all is that this is a spiritual forum. And I have seen so many doing this same thing, saying something really crass, insensitive and mindless and then trying to offset the effect by adding that hopeless unfunny smiley at the end... 

They think they're being too smart. I don't even use that smiley anymore. Stopped it long time ago after seeing how people are abusing that smiley here. 

I'm not sure if your observations were directed toward me, but my intentions have never been like that, nor honestly have I come across people here that fit that description. 

I'm not being combative, but I'm curious what you're seeing.

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@jse I'm not an enlightenment expert, but isn't it supposed to entail transcending all fear or something?  I'm not sure how that works with survival and all that or how one avoids death without fear.

[Loreena]

@username Cool. It was meant as a general statement. I particularly avoided mentioning you for the same purpose because I thought you would take it personally. If you think you have hurt someone, you can apologize and be done with it. If you think you haven't and there is no reason for anyone to believe so, then forget it and be cool. 

[Guest username]

@Loreena I'm asking because I don't know how I have been coming across in my posts; I figured it may be an opportunity to gain some self-awareness. I wouldn't be offended. Thanks for the feedback.

[Loreena]

@username  I have never come across any insensitive stuff in any of your posts at all. You're always very kind. 

[jse]

20 hours ago, username said:

 I'm not an enlightenment expert, but isn't it supposed to entail transcending all fear or something?  I'm not sure how that works with survival and all that or how one avoids death without fear.

@username death fearlessness is not synonymous with awareness or enlightenment.

For every Thich Quang Duc...

... there are countless of mostly irrational people who take their own lives, and do so without any fear.

 

Do you really need to be enlightened to sleep at night?   Death just happens to be a similarly natural process of life.  The real fear comes from the unknown, specifically with regards to the potential suffering for yourself and others.

Death fearlessness is really about accepting the inevitable.  There is no real reason to either seek or fear death.  When death finally calls, enlightenment is not necessary to accept it.

 

Edited May 7, 2017 by jse
too many words