The Princess Diaries

[Princess Arabia]

Oooooooh, Leo is working on his book. Ma baby, writing a book. Can't wait.....just because.....for it's own sake. 

I'll be like...BUT LEO. Hehe.

Maybe he'll ask for my address and send me an autographed copy but deliver it personally. Does that sound too culty....i'm not a fan just an admirer. Don't hate. Leo be like"BUT PRINCESS". He's used to my antics. He ignores them. Good.

Edited yesterday at 12:11 AM by Princess Arabia

[Princess Arabia]

I'm not even going to argue with anyone (much, lol) about their take on God/Reality/Existence/Absolute. I might say something in opposition or disagree or something of the sort, might; but as far as I'm concerned, it's all wrong and right or not the exact picture including what I have to say about it. It's nothing, even though it's a "something" nothing, but every and everything anybody has to say about it will be perspectival and all perspectives are false because that's looking at it from an angle and there's no separation. 

I'm not saying no one is close or have great insights or have an idea or can speak on it or whatever. Shit, i'm doing that in this whole journal, pretty much. It's what I've understood it to be from the knowledge i've acquired, my own experience and intuition. None of it is Absolute because language is dualistic, limited and relative; relative to the one speaking it from their perspective. All perspectives are false. All. Perspectives are illusory. The person speaking is illusory. No one knows it all. Can't. No separation and it's infinite and limitless. 

The self is illusory. If we want to call the Absolute the SELF, then so be it. That's all there is. So why argue with the Absolute. Sure, arguments and debates and pov's, etc., are welcome and is to be expected, but none of it is total. This is totality already, so everything said is total. If I say "hum", that's everything. If I say "dog" that's everything. Everything is everything. If I say everything is not everything, that's still everything. If I say it's not infinite, that's everything. 

Nothing is being everything so some hogwash explanation of reality is still nothing saying that. Nothing can't be wrong in the Absolute sense since it's nothing.

One might argue and say how do you know it's nothing. Well, i don't, but it's the only explanation for everything. Infinity is nothing. No-thing. Can't get something from something. The initial something has to have a Source. Trace back and there's no end. Nothing has to be what existence is or else there couldn't be anything appearing. 

[Princess Arabia]

The thing that's on my mind a lot lately is the senses. I've been delving into that and thinking about it. It's my new curiosity endeavor. How can two seeming separate people hear the same thing from different ears. Insert any sense there. Smell the same thing with different noses, see with different eyes, etc. 

Say I'm in a car and passed a dog on the sidewalk. The man behind me in his car sees the same dog with his eyes. We are two different people seeing the same thing with a different set of eyes. How's that even possible. I'll say my eyes belong to me and he'll say his eyes are his, but we can see the same things. I hear a bang, and he hears a bang, different ears. I smell bacon and he smells bacon, different noses. The common denominator is the thing being sensed. 

If someone slaps me, he's not going to feel it, I will. So, he can see the same things I see and hear the same things I hear but can't feel for me. I mean, he can indirectly, but you know what I mean. In a public transportation, everyone looking out from a different set of eyes but seeing the same things. The only common denominator is the thing being seen yet separate people born from a different womb, with different DNA, cells and make up sees the same thing. How's that possible. In non-dual circles it's said that seeing is just happening but by no one....hmmm. The more I investigate this shit, is the scarier it gets. Hello, anyone there! Lol. Yeah, ok, sure answer me you Absolute you.

Edited yesterday at 04:29 AM by Princess Arabia

[samijiben]

Hola Princessa,

This is fucky territory.

I also don't know how it is possible that you exist. And I exist too. You and me, forever and ever? Babe? No? Maybe so? Could it be? And so it is!

[Princess Arabia]

If we really pay attention, we can see the total inconsistencies in life, the anarchic nature of it. Really. It's there. Very subtle, but it's there. I'm not even speaking about wars and the obvious things that makes no sense or spontaneously happening but small, little details and things that make one go, hmm. Pay attention, without judgements and you'll start to notice them. See things for what they are and take your ideas and opinions out of the picture; iow, get out the way.

When one limits their biases and judgements, isn't self-absorbed and doesn't care about right and wrong, it gets easy to see. The reason why most people can't see certain things is because they care if they live. When one doesn't care if they live or die, not in the suicidal sense or depressed sense, but could also be happy with life when one truly sees or understands this is simply magic happening, nothing is serious and it's all made-up shit, and that no one is really alive and kicking, this is all a miracle and nothing bad can happen to anyone really, they can truly see life as it is. Spontaneous and free. Bring in the neurotic self, the selfish ego, the brainwashed, fearful and only about me, me, me, life then becomes a thing to survive and the self a thing to defend and the veils are on and now, it's all contracted and wants to get, get, get, get, looking for value and ways to sustain itself, these things closes one off to the rawness of life. It's very chaotic and free. 

[Princess Arabia]

4 minutes ago, samijiben said:

Hola Princessa,

This is fucky territory.

I also don't know how it is possible that you exist. And I exist too. You and me, forever and ever? Babe? No? Maybe so? Could it be? And so it is!

Lol. You so crazy!!! Love you.

[Princess Arabia]

7 minutes ago, samijiben said:

Hola Princessa,

This is fucky territory.

I also don't know how it is possible that you exist. And I exist too. You and me, forever and ever? Babe? No? Maybe so? Could it be? And so it is!

Like I said, chaotic and free. Anything can appear without notice and with notice. Doesn't matter. Planned or not. Expected or not. All appearing out of nothing. 

[samijiben]

1 minute ago, Princess Arabia said:

Like I said, chaotic and free. Anything can appear without notice and with notice. Doesn't matter. Planned or not. Expected or not. All appearing out of nothing. 

Everything is appearing out of nothing. Fine.

But I have a question. Where does my experience begin and your experience end?

I cannot stomach the reality that I am hallucinating you & my mother & all others into existence. 

This is one of the biggest unresolved conundrums of Mind. (For me)

[samijiben]

You mentioned the bacon thing. We can both smell the same bacon. But only YOU can FEEL the sensation of, say, getting punched in the gut..

I have pondered this too many times. It is such a mindfuck. This duality between you and me, self and other, is one of the trickiest goddamn things, man. I just don't get it!

[Princess Arabia]

10 minutes ago, samijiben said:

Everything is appearing out of nothing. Fine.

But I have a question. Where does my experience begin and your experience end?

I cannot stomach the reality that I am hallucinating you & my mother & all others into existence. 

This is one of the biggest unresolved conundrums of Mind. (For me)

10 minutes ago, samijiben said:

Everything is appearing out of nothing. Fine.

But I have a question. Where does my experience begin and your experience end?

I cannot stomach the reality that I am hallucinating you & my mother & all others into existence. 

This is one of the biggest unresolved conundrums of Mind. (For me)

You are hallucinating yourself into existence so everything now to you is real.  I AM, so therefore everything is. I am here so therefore everything else is there. It's an illusion. There is no you there and me here, it's all timeless energy being both with no where going, started or finishing. It's like a night dream. Seems in the head but it's nowhere timeless, boundless, no space and it's all not really happening. It cannot be applied or lived or experienced. It's like an illusion trying to figure itself out. It can't because it's not really happening, it's an appearance like a shadow is an appearance and a rainbow and the sun's rays. Get rid of the source and they're gone. You are the source, youre gone and everything's gone.

Edited 23 hours ago by Princess Arabia

[Princess Arabia]

12 minutes ago, samijiben said:

You mentioned the bacon thing. We can both smell the same bacon. But only YOU can FEEL the sensation of, say, getting punched in the gut..

I have pondered this too many times. It is such a mindfuck. This duality between you and me, self and other, is one of the trickiest goddamn things, man. I just don't get it!

Duality is also non-dual, neither really exists. Only totality does which is nothing. All I'm doing is exposing the totality. Kind of deconstructing the duality. Exposing the illusory nature of it all. 

Edited 23 hours ago by Princess Arabia

[samijiben]

Yup, that's the answer I was looking for.

Goodnight.

[Princess Arabia]

2 minutes ago, samijiben said:

Yup, that's the answer I was looking for.

Goodnight.

2 minutes ago, samijiben said:

 

Nite, nite. Going to bed myself. ❤️

[Princess Arabia]

Thing is, everybody is looking for shit to make sense. 'It doesn't make sense to me if so and so is this and so and so is that". Does it make sense that your poppa looked at your momma in lust, momma had you and now you have to figure out life. (one scenario out of many, make your own up here, doesn't matter) Does it make sense that you were a fucking embryo at one time and you made it through some woman's birth canal and womb and she had to carry you for 9 friggin' mths and pushed you out of her vajay jay, with some strangers looking down her pum pum hole while they say push, push, then you come out screaming like a little whimp with hands and feet all free flowing and not tied together with some rope then a friggin' cord was cut to free you from the fuckin misery and pain you caused her.......only to come here on earth to suffer yourself and want to seek enlightenment. All because some man couldn't keep his little teeny weeny in his pants, you have to suffer.......DOES THAT FUCKING MAKE SENSE. 

On top of that ALL THAT JUST TO DIE.

Go ahead with your sense-making thinking that you got shit all figured out. If you weren't born into this shit, it wouldn't make sense to you either. 

If it's not familiar, it won't make sense. Only reason things make sense to you AS THE FUCKING KNOWING energy that you are is because it is KNOWN. Whatever constitutes for that to make sense you already know. So it makes sense. You have constructed it from the known. You are a dreaming machine that is constructing the dream from scratch. From you were a somebody. From when you knew yourself to be a self. From whatever age that was 4-7yrs old. The energy that arose within the body that contracted from your mommas contractions and now you know yourself to be one and others many. 

Life started to make sense then. Whatever causes that energy to seemingly contract that made it seem like you know anything and now you've eaten the fruit of knowledge from the tree and now you've ostracized yourself from the rest of the world and trying to make sense of it with the illusory senses that you think you possess.

No, no,no, no, no, nothing makes sense. From your so-called birth to your so-called death you've been defending that sense of self while you think you can figure shit out to make a life for yourself. Well, I have news for you. You borne yourself and that's it. Now, make that make sense.

Edited 15 hours ago by Princess Arabia

[Princess Arabia]

Oh yeah, that makes sense to ME. Do we ever say that makes sense to everybody, to that man down the street, to that lady crossing the road. No, we say, that makes sense to friggin' ME. Who's the me. We don't even know who we are, yet we say me. Why don't we say, oh yeah that makes sense to God. Yet we say we're God. Is God me. Did God call itself God. Did the me call itself me. Didn't we hear everybody say me and I and that's why we say me and I.

Oh yeah, that makes sense. Don't we already have senses. Why are they there. Let them do the work. Why are we trying to make sense for the senses. Isn't that what they're there for. The 5 senses. Or 6 or however much.

 That makes sense. What sense is that. What sense did we make there. What's it called. That makes sense to ME. Which sense is it. The make-it-make sense? The sense we invented. I don't know. The sense that had to be made up. That makes sense.

The thing that makes sense to me might not make sense to you. How's that? The same thing. The same circumstance makes different sense to different people with the same sense constructs. Hear, smell, feel, touch and taste, hears, smells, feels touches and tastes differently to us all. Some the same, some differently. I taste the sour of a mango but to you it tastes sweet. I smell rotten eggs, you smell dog shit. I hear someone crying, you hear someone laughing. That thing made me feel shitty, same thing made me feel good. Yet we say experience is king. What experience, for whom, you, when we experience the same things differently. KING FOR WHOM. My experience or yours. DIFFERENT KINGS. I say that sucks, you say yeah yeah I like that. Which one is KING. Both. So, experience is king for who is perceiving it, experiencing it. Does a king only rule over whomever calls him King or for everyone under it's rulings. Does a king say you have to experience me first before I can rule over you? No, it just rules. It's king for all. All under it. So, experience is king, but only for my rulings. What I say. How's that of any power. How's that go for me. King for you but not for me. That experience is only king for you.

[Princess Arabia]

A rant to the Absolute:

I'm angry at the Absolute/God. I'm angry because you left me in the cold to figure this shit out. You left me not knowing anything from birth and now you gave me parents that knows nothing either. You left me to fend for myself. You made a world filled with suffering and hate and only love when we feel like it. We feel our way through this shit hole. Maneuvering our way through hell. Lots of money is hell, lots of sex is hell, lots of food is hell, lots of friends is hell, abundance is hell. We only want more and more and more and more and more. Having nothing makes us want. Having lots makes us want even more. It's never enough. Then they tell me it's so we can surrender and come to you. When we've been through the hell, then we can truly be in heaven. 

Then we have this thing called dis-ease. Almost everyone will catch one or the other in their lifetime. Then we grow old and gray and diseased up some more before you finally have some mercy on us and suck the last fucking dis-eased up breath from us as if to say, here my baby, I relieve you of your suffering now. Come home to poppa. What kind of loving is that. Suffer before you die. Suffer from your mistakes and greediness and selfishness, you horny bastard you say. You make men weep for sex. You put them through misery after you thrush down their throats a bunch of testosterone and make their bodies crave something they have to suffer for. You make women with holes that have to bear the pain of birth and to bear the pain if someone stick it to them the wrong way. Everything in life is about pain. We have to figure ourselves into happiness. The default is fucking pain and misery.

Then you place strangers in our lives to tell us who we fucking are. We have to listen to a man or woman we don't fucking know and who makes money from our ignorance while sone remain poor and jacked up looking for food, while the stranger to us tell us how to fucking meditate and do kriya yoga just to not suffer and to reach you.

Who the fuck do you think you are. Why the hell is all this happening. Children are starving and the homeless are doing drugs to cope. Then society doesn't give a shit about them and call them feins and drug addicts and you make them suffer more because you designed a fucking body that gets addicted to the substances you created. What kind of shit is this. Even the so-called rich are killing themselves and overdosing on drugs and killing themselves because they still feel empty inside. Looking for fucking you. Why the fuck do you keep hiding. Is this a fucking joke. Well, no one's laughing. 

You give us shit just to take it back. Then you give us more shit and take it back again like some hide and friggin seek prank. Then you design us to be selfish because that's the only way to survive this hell of a hole. Notice how there are holes everywhere. Hell hole, vagina hole, ass hole, holes in logic, holes in truths, holes in the ear, loop holes, holes galore. Is that where you're hiding. In the sewer hole. The hole of the gutter. Making us suffer while you laugh and say, here, here, come find me you bunch of whimps. You whining son of a bitches who complain about the torture I bestow upon you. Man up. Woman up. Even children suffer, not to mention the poor defenseless animals. Then you torture them to death just so we can eat that filthy dead flesh.

Is that why you brought us here. Or is it. Are you living all this yourself. Being all this your fucking self just to get to know yourself. Is this all you. Is this unconditional love. Is this what you are. Is it? Is it fucking it? Tell me goddamitt!!! Don't leave me to guess anymore. I read all these fucking posts and cry my eyes out when I read the pain in the hearts of mankind. I don't care if I suffer. I've done suffering. I've had efuckingnuff. I don't suffer anymore. My body crashed and cancered up to no more suffering. It's just playing itself out waiting to die. I care about the ones that suffer. The ones that want to be happy. The ones that are truly gifted and want to shine but suffer and cannot shine because they don't know how. You make me cry tears of hoplelesness for mankind. I see no hope.

Is that all you. Is that you, I ask. Tell me. Are you being everything. Am I you. Do I even exist. All I have in my heart is love for you and you leave me hanging on a rope. Well, the love I feel ain't going nowhere. All this ranting and raving is out of love. All I do is out of love. So if this is what love is, if this is what you are, if this is infinity at it's finest, then I'll take it. I'll stop being a whining bitch and take it all. I don't care about me. I don't care to make anything any better for myself or anyone else. I don't want anything from life, I don't want luxury and riches. Give me the filth, give me the suffering, give me the hell hole. If this is what you are give it all to me, because all I want is to be you. If this is all you, bring it on. 

I'm happy now, I'm well again, I'm delighted because in writing this you have shun your light on me. You have shown me you. You revealed yourself to the one that doesn't exist and made yourself seen. I LOVE YOU AND I AM YOU BECAUSE OF NO OTHER REASON OTHER THAN THERE IS NO ME. There can't be. Never was or will be. Thank you for revealing yourself to me. This has truly been a revelation. Now, I'll go back to the world of hell that appears but not when I'm asleep and you shine. I'll look forward to sleeping now. It's my only relief and you are there to hold me when I disappear. Thank you.

Edited 14 hours ago by Princess Arabia

[Princess Arabia]

Somebody just gave someone advice that they asked for 6yrs ago. You tell me this isn't anarchic chaos. These are the subtleties I say to look out for. One example. Still trying to make it make sense?. Lol