The Princess Diaries

[Princess Arabia]

I love that Leo is exposing certain things about Reality right now. This way i won't sound so crazy when I do. I'm not as established in the field as he is and his words are taken as religion to some. Not sure how far he will go with it and of course some of it I don't agree with or see the same way but no two persons will see it exactly the same and, frankly, it doesn't matter. He has changed his stance on some things and in very subtle ways even contradict himself - very subtle - me too. That's the beauty of Nothing, it can be this way because there are no rules to it. This is very spontaneous, chaotic, raw and unrehearsed, very immediate and free.

Things seems ordered and structured but at the 'core' of it is utter chaos. It's beautiful, it's ugly, it's frightening, it's scary, it's unpredictable, it's mysterious, it's breathtaking, it's everything....Jesus, where did it come from; easy to say nowhere without truly understanding what that really means. Easy to say it's nothing and everything, easy to say it's boundless, free, limitless, timeless and all that...but is that truly understood, is that really grasped, do we really understand what this is. You'll say it's not understandable but do you really know why. Do we really UNDERSTAND. Are we penetrating this with full force, are we exploring it's depth, do we realize there's no depth, this is utterly and truly breathtakingly, miraculously, unfathomably, mind-fuckingly off the grid of anything we can imagine it to be and what's even more amazing is that it's all there is, everything is it. What are we afraid of. What are we suffering. Get real and stop being a narcissistic, psychotic, neurotic, egotistical son of a bitch and see that there's nothing in this for you. LOVE is not for anyone. It is everyone. Cut the crap and hear the cries of joy, the screams of ecstasy, the tears of sadness and sorrow is love crying out for itself. Do you really think you need an awakening to love. You are dead if you do. You're living under a rock if you do. I need to go and recoup from this post, I'm just crying all the way through, the love is overbearing what I feel.

 

Edited June 7 by Princess Arabia

[Princess Arabia]

The reason why humans (ego) will never feel totally fulfilled and always wanting for more, is because everything is empty and has no real substance to it. It clings to emptiness and wanting more emptiness. Fucked up thing is that's emptiness doing that. There are really no objects nor subjects but the appearance is as such. The appearance cannot be held unto because it is "ing-ing" or issing meaning a verb meaning it's kind of in action as in a wave in the ocean is "wave-ing". There is no wave all on it's own and a wave cannot be grasp or held unto it's the ocean being the wave. Similar to that analogy.

[Princess Arabia]

The only illusion is the person, the separate individual, the one thinking it makes decisions and has choices, that it has a life and free will and choice. Things appearing are not illusions. They are simply appearing. Nothing appearing as something. It's all empty and void but not illusion. The illusion would be the observer, if there's an energy that relates to what appears as in my this or my that. If there's a center and feelings of I'm here and everything is there and also sees others relating to things as theirs.

The illusion is space and time. There's none but a center creates the illusion of space and time. This is all nothing appearing as such and no one can see through the illusion because that would be the absence of the person so who's left to know that it's seeing through anything. 

Science is only an illusion because there's an observer relating to that. A someone that sees science as a thing that can be related to. A man or woman doing science is what's simply appearing to happen but with no one doing that and no one observing that. The illusion of science appearing to happen is the person seeing it as science and not just two bodies appearing to do whatever science is doing. This applies to every other ideology and anything abstract. They are all illusions but not their appearances. An ideology is happening and appearing as ideology but the illusion is seeing it and relating to it as someone with an ideology. That's where the illusion comes in.

It also comes in as a person writing this believing that someone is reading this. It's wholeness appearing as writing and reading and responding, but with no one behind it. One might ask then why write anything. That's also, if I believe there's actually someone behind that question and the person asking the question thinking there's actually someone writing this. It can't be avoided because no one is actually doing anything. The seeing and relating to this message as nonsense is also wholeness, nothing, God, The Absolute, freedom, liberation or whatever the hell it's called, it is being all of that. There's no escaping as it is all there is even the appearance of illusions. 

 

 

[Princess Arabia]

Self-inquiry is an illusion. There's no self to inquire into. There's no one to know thyself. The practice is the noself practicing it's noselfness. There's no outside and inside of boundlessness for one to observe a true nature. It's the same "thing". This is not suggesting to stop or continue doing self-inquiry because there's no one doing that in the first place. I'm simply just writing.

 

[Princess Arabia]

The poor ego constantly working on itself to fix itself. It can't help it since it was built on false claims and it's in shaky grounds. Leo doesn't help by constantly telling everyone they're corrupt either. Now it's mission is to try and get along with other false egos. Those other false egos have to be fixed in order for the other ego to get along with it or to live in harmony with it. No sense fixing yourself to live with other broken egos. Are you fixing yourself to live with yourself and for yourself. If you were the only one on the planet you wouldn't give a flying fuck about fixing yourself. Now, you're living for other fake egos. Tell me if that's not neurosis and delusion.

Ok, ok, there's no one doing that. I'm not going to constantly keep saying that and playing devil's advocate like Leo in his videos......but Princess...you said no one is doing anything. Imagine every time I write I say but no one is doing that; now that'll also be a kind of neurosis and me trying to practice and keep eluding to that, that energy has to go. Imagine someone trying to practice noself. That's the utmost neurosis, the self trying to act like it doesn't exist. It wouldn't even know it wasn't there. Just as there's no one in these bodies but nobody knows that. The knowing energy is the person. When the person that isn't there is gone so is the knowing energy. Who's to know. This is why enlightenment can't be had. It's not something to gain. It's a loss and nobody is there to recognize the loss of oneself. It's a felt feeling. That feeling can fall away to reveal there was no one there to begin with and something can realize that as a felt sense also but it's not something someone does, did or can do anything about. Nobody says I am a self now and nobody can say I'm not a self now. 

Edited June 9 by Princess Arabia

[kbone]

@Princess Arabia Great stuff.

The absence in which it all appears...

 

I might add, self-inquiry is where the mind's deceit is seen and the not-knowing is noticed, which could be considered the burning away of ignorance. When deceit is seen, honesty arises as insight; when not-knowing is fully seen, wisdom/Knowledge emerges and the potential for Realization increases. When all has been reduced to ashes, only Truth emerges, absent the prison of the previous construct of (some permanent/separate volitional) self.

That said, one typically shows up in the world 'to others (who may not be Realized)' with a mask on... as the appearance of otherness to 'others'. As such, it might be said that self is illusory/impermanent/a mirage, while the inquiry simply happens. Purddy coolio. 

 

"To be in the world, but not necessarily of it"

“Wisdom is knowing I am Nothing, Love is knowing I am Everything, and between the two my life moves.” ~ Nisargadatta Maharaj

Edited June 9 by kbone

[Princess Arabia]

@kboneI'm just trying to see all this stuff on my own be ripping everything apart and starting from scratch. I take pointers from elsewhere but use them only if I understand what they're pointing to and if they fit into the deconstruction and not the construction; same thing, I guess, constructing a deconstruction.  I see Spirituality as another fools' game if not used wisely and is no different than any other institution that has potential to self-deceive, and because of it's nature, has even a bigger potential. I see most things in life as backwards as if when looked at through the mirror it straightens itself out and spirituality doesn't get a free pass on this. It's all in fun, though, and I'm also aware that I myself am delusional and self-deceived but i'm just having fun with this as nothing can disturb the truth of the matter and it's all the Absolute at play with itself.

[kbone]

@Princess Arabia

Yup, I getcha. As I said before, I recognize a similarity in the way you are expressing the perspective. As such, I sense you have SEEN somenothing and are now in the process of cleaning house, putting the mind in its place.... Awareness/Consciousness is primary, mind is not. The mind is where the delusion, the sense of self, and self-deception arise. Freedom from that prison, authentic Peace, is the putting it all out front and not being drawn in by its shenanigans. It's quite common for the mind to try and get a foothold, and maybe claw its way back to prominence.

In a poetic way, 'we're out here' in the mindsphere talking about what 'we' actually are, that simple Awareness in which the movements of Consciousness,  like the mind and the world, appear. In the Plotinus model, you've transcended 'up', realized 'The One' (aka, the Void, Nothing, God, Awareness/Consciousness, whatever you wanna call it), and you now SEE all that is emanating within/as The One.... THIS, transrational simplicity and perfection. I don't know if that sounds like nonsense to you.... just sharing an expression that might mesh with your mind's. 

It's great you're having fun in this massive amusement park. It is purddy funny, in an amazing way, though the mind might still sense 'others' suffering as they identify with the self construct 'trapped' in the delusion/ignorance born of the self-deception.

Peace, Sista.

[Princess Arabia]

13 minutes ago, kbone said:

though the mind might still sense 'others' suffering as they identify with the self construct 'trapped' in the delusion/ignorance born of the self-deception.

This was the main reason why I had to take another look into spirituality and it's teachings. One of, anyway. Without getting into it, I've realized that suffering is a by-product of separation and cannot be separated from the dream of separation, UT is the dream itself. 

 

18 minutes ago, kbone said:

In a poetic way, 'we're out here' in the mindsphere talking about what 'we' actually are, that simple Awareness in which the movements of Consciousness,  like the mind and the world, appear. In the Plotinus model, you've transcended 'up', realized 'The One' (aka, the Void, Nothing, God, Awareness/Consciousness, whatever you wanna call it), and you now SEE all that is emanating within/as The One.... THIS, transrational simplicity and perfection. I don't know if that sounds like nonsense to you

No, I would probably just word things differently like "within" as there's truly no within and without and maybe to recognize that awareness is also a part of the dream of I am; but sure, sometimes we use words when pointing to things and sometimes one will see something differently than another while it's all the one at play with itself. No need to or not need to get technical about it, it's all the same energy being all there is. What fell away here, was a need to get it all right and to see it all as a play of the one.

[kbone]

3 hours ago, Princess Arabia said:

1- This was the main reason why I had to take another look into spirituality and it's teachings. One of, anyway. Without getting into it, I've realized that suffering is a by-product of separation and cannot be separated from the dream of separation, UT is the dream itself. 

 

2- No, I would probably just word things differently like "within" as there's truly no within and without and maybe to recognize that awareness is also a part of the dream of I am; but sure, sometimes we use words when pointing to things and sometimes one will see something differently than another while it's all the one at play with itself. No need to or not need to get technical about it, it's all the same energy being all there is. What fell away here, was a need to get it all right and to see it all as a play of the one.

1- Yeah, going back and taking a look to see what stands up to Truth (or what survived the blast) is likely and healthy. What's realized doesn't make sense to the previous, consensus trance paradigm. Agree completely about the suffering. That's why I sometimes bang on about mind a lot of the time, hehe; people have heard and/or get it conceptually, but often express stuff that is direct conflict with what they say they understand, hehe. The expression you share seems more authentic as there's a consistency to it, which is what drew my curiosity. 

2- Right, all language is dualistic and typically refers to the relative world, but that's all we got for communication on a forum! So, words like 'within', consciousness, levels, freedom or even truth can never express or point to it directly. Thus the poetic license was asked for. All appearances are 'out front', and almost all seeking of Truth tends to involve mind, which immediately steps in the 'wrong' direction. Yes, it's all lila, all play, and all of the same ____, but until the concepts used in communication are actually penetrated and realized, there's likely some more unconscious hide-n-seeking at play. Happy you're made it through and are clear of the mindfield! 

 

Enough carrying on and on. Enjoy your day.

[Princess Arabia]

@kboneThank you, you too.

[Princess Arabia]

Ever stop to think why you have to learn how to be in life when you never asked to come here in the first place. I keep referencing the "never asked to come here" bit because, for me, it says a lot. Just the fact that most people aren't even concerned with this says a lot. That it's not the main topic of discussion in life period. I may have heard this about two times since I've been alive. Two times and that's pushing it, maybe once. There's a guy on yt ranting about this all day everyday, but apart from him, nobody else that I've heard brings this up. 

We have spiritual teachers telling us who we are, how to be, what we're not and all sorts of things concerning this topic. I know I've spoken about this before, but it's on my stupid mind once again. I'm not the mind, they say. Isn't that fucking obvious. I'm not the body, well that's not so obvious but they say don't identify with the mind. Who the hell identifies with the mind. What does that even mean. To identify with the mind. Listen to it? Do as it says? How does one identify with the mind. You're me, ok mind. Is it to not identify as the mind. I am the mind. Well, who is the I. I am a female. I identify as a female. Am I the female, is the female me. If I chop off my breasts and take hormones and have a sex change will I still be female. I will identify as male then. The mind is still there, presumably. The mind is there regardless if I'm male or female.

No one says don't identify with your sex, but they say don't identify with something that's there regardless if I have a sex change or not. So don't identify with the mind, do I identify as female. Identify as awareness. Identify with the witness. See that there's something witnessing the mind and thoughts and the body. You are that. Jesus Christ i'm supposed to identify with a phantom, something I cannot see. That's me. Why the hell do I need someone to tell me that. Why the hell am i hiding from myself. What's the point.

This what I'm talking about, all this mystery and confusion. Someone is at an advantage over someone else just because another person tells them who they are. We say most people don't even know who they are and will die not knowing. Well, they didn't inquire enough. They didn't ask another stranger who they were. I wonder if it's because it doesn't fucking matter.

Edited June 9 by Princess Arabia

[Princess Arabia]

Everybody is scrambling about. Moving on in life. Doing things, being a certain way. Worried about this and that - just to die. We fight and kill each other - just to die. We have to keep this thing moving so we invent stories like reincarnation, previous lives and future lives. We can't accept that there's just one life and that's it. Even if it means, not knowing in the next life that you were here before. What's the point in believing in reincarnation if you won't even know that you've been reincarnated. This life is where reincarnation matters, not the next. It has to be a thing now or it doesn't matter to the believer. The only way reincarnation is of any value to those who believe in it, is if it's believed in in the present life. If not, it's of no value. I die and come back but I don't know of my previous life, what good is that. 

They say some remember their previous lives. The same person will say there is no time and space. The same person will say they are God. The same person will say it's God living through all the lives. The same confused person will say life is a dream. The same neurotic person will say death is an illusion. The same delusional psychopath will say, there's only the present moment. There's at least one person right now that believes all of these things at the same time. That they are God, reincarnation is real, time and space are illusions, life is a dream, God is living through all lives and that death is an illusion. All of that held as a belief simultaneously. If you challenge those beliefs, they'll be able to come up with more believable stories to match up with that and challenge some more, even more bizarre stories that you yourself may start to believe because they sound so good and believable.

 You'll start to doubt your own stupid beliefs. You'll start to doubt who the fuck you are when they're done with you. You'll be asking for anyone with a course on the matter. You'll take a class and watch all the yt videos you can find on reincarnation, time and space and dreams and God. You'd be more confused than you were before it all started. You'd be searching out quotes from the bearded man on the throne or the dead guy that everyone worships and whose body is filled with maggots and bones eating itself. That's who you'll entrust your spirituality to and now form another belief system when you tire of the existing ones. It's the fucking cycle and goose whipping, tail chasing of this thing called spirituality you'll end up in and will not know your ass from your front by the time it's done with you. I just love me some life. It's so fucking filled with drama and that's how I got here to begin with from nothing. Who wants to be nothing forever. That's dull and boring. Give me something, please, even if it's a fucking lie and a fucking dream. At least i can feel fucking alive. Doesn't matter if I'm swimming in a pool of nonsense, I just want to feel alive. No one cares that they didn't ask to come here, everyone just wants to feel alive. Something outta nothing is better than nothing itself.

 

[Princess Arabia]

I will not take seriously (Spiritually) any book, teaching, video, or anything that has been boxed up, grasped, understood, known, spelt out and chewed out for an audience. I will still indulge but it will only be for the purposes of knowledge. Like I've always said, I love this stuff, but I also understand that the trueness and rawness of it is in the appearances. Not some book or teaching. If a book on the teachings appears, it's what's appearing. That book is not going to give me anything or tell me anything that I'll gain and can take with me to apply and accomplish anything with. It is novelty. 

A spiritual teacher is nothing more than a talking head with words spewing out from nowhere and from nothing. A man teaching me how to bake a cake and I apply that knowledge and bake the cake is an achievement. Insert any life's achievement there. Build a house, how to do whatever.....that's different. 

When it comes to spiritual stuff, it's already done, this is home, it's already complete, so there's nothing to do, nowhere to go, nothing to get and nothing to hold unto. No book can ever come close to this and can never hold within it anything that is alive, boundless and free. I don't need or not need a reference to this. It's just simply how I feel right now. I've heard enough, seen enough, read enough and talked about it enough to understand it's all nothing. It's all empty. No substance.

I will enjoy a teaching or a book for it's own sake. Not to try and apply anything said or written. I don't need to or not need to watch movies but I still do. Same with anything else I do that's not related to making money to pay the bills. This is what's serious to me. Not making this serious. That's how serious it is. If I make this spiritual stuff serious, I have lost the wonder and the joy of it. If I read a book on it and try to apply anything, I've lost the awe, wonder and natural curiosity of it, if I take a course on it, I have lost the innocence of it. 

This stuff is so pure, beautiful, raw, direct, playful, spontaneous, truly magnificent that no words can even come close, why should I limit it to a book or a teaching. I always say I didn't ask to come here.....there's no I that is here. I didn't ask to come here but there is no I and there is no here. Jesus Christ, if you don't dig deep, you'll never discover this shit out. If you're constantly doing practices and rituals, you'll never discover this shit. if you're relying on quotes from dead people and reading books, you'll never discover this shit. If you're searching within, you'll never discover this shit out. You discover this shit by not trying to discover this shit. Be curious, child-like, explore, observe. It is not you and you are not it. It is not even an it. There is no you to be it and it is not an it. How the hell can I spawn from something that's not even a something. No one asked to come here and there's no one here. Jesus, how could I not see this before. Of course I said I, I've been saying I for eons. I feel like an I but I don't feel like i'm here anymore I feel like I'm nowhere just sitting on a couch. I feel like a person but I don't feel like i'm situated anywhere. I don't feel located. 

 

 

 

[Princess Arabia]

When I log on and look at this forum, all I see is a bunch of words. Names of people attached to comments, threads and responses. I don't hear any voices or see any real faces, just words, videos and pictures. I hit on a topic and all i see is a bunch of words and read it to myself as if someone actually said those words. Day in and day out, just a bunch of words, phrases, sentences, remarks, questions and answers. All inside this computer. On a screen. Dozens of people talking about different stuff and all it takes is a tap of the finger and a scroll of the thumb to see life happening all on a dumb screen. Jesus, if that's not magic, I don't know what is. There's magic everywhere.

I think I have too much time on my hands. I need a baby. Too much nonsensical chitter chatter going on in my head. I need silence. Silence to think about more jibber jabber. Goodnight.

 

 

Edited June 11 by Princess Arabia

[Princess Arabia]

This is the void that's why we feel the need for things, circumstances and people to fill it. It's like an empty, hollow 'place' filled with nothing. It feels empty even though it seems full. We are living in an empty void of nothing. Don't believe me? Check yourself. Open your eyes. Observe your ways. See for yourself how you cling to stuff, trying to hold unto beliefs, things, people, places and things. We need to put people unto pedestals, say that so and so allowed me to be stable, flourish and become something. We're like floating in mid air so-to-speak, on rocky ground. It feels unstable, empty and without meaning and purpose and direction, so we dream up all this stuff to feel like we belong, to feel like home, to feel like a somebody, to feel, feel, feel, feel, feel, feel, feel, feel, and feel some more. That's what feelings are. It's important for us to feel. Doesn't matter what that is, as long as we feel. We hurt ourselves on purpose to feel something, we avoid love to feel something, love cannot be felt, the unity, oneness, inseparable, boundless, timeless love that's all there is, cannot be felt, so we go out of our way to try and feel the love that penetrates. We're searching for the love that we are. Boundless, timeless, unlimited, unfathomable, unknown, untouched, everything love, energy, freedom that's free to become whatever it wants and that's language being limited and dualistic trying to convey a message to itself that cannot be heard or conveyed because it's not anything to be conveyed. 

It is longing for itself. It is not somebody doing it doesn't know itself and can get lost in it's own freedom of expression. It isn't looking for anything but can appear to be. It isn't really being anything but can appear to be. It isn't moving nor staying still, those are positions, but can appear to be. It is what I've fell in love with, it is what I crave, it is what I long for, it is what I want to become, it is what I cradle, it is what I dream of, it is what I miss, it is what I yearn for, it is what I desire, it is what I think about. IT IS the yearning, the craving, the missing, the longing, the loving, the thinking, the everything i so dearly want, desire, love and hope for.

I cannot grasp it, I cannot hold unto it, it keeps escaping me, it keeps evading me, it keeps making me feel unfulfilled, needing and wanting, it makes me addicted to things, reaching for objects to try and fill the fucking empty void I feel inside. There is no inside or outside, there are no boundaries, there are no points, no limits, no direction, no hope, all despair. It has made me neurotic, needy, desperate, lonely, it has made me suicidal, sick, crying, laughing, happy, sad, suffer, miserable, angry, mad, in love, and so much more. It has made me me. A me that longs to not be me. A me that seeks for things that can never satisfy me. A me that sees itself in others. Others are others because of me. Then I despise, love, hate, want to be, cherish, hold unto, reach for others whether things, people, or circumstances that aren't me to try and satisfy me. Try to make me feel whole and complete. I despise because I love. I long for because I love, I dislike because I love, I yearn for because I love, I do everything because I love. I love because I'm love itself. I'm love itself because I'm inseparable, whole and complete. That's love.

I don't know that. I don't know anything. I want to know. I'm knowing itself. I'm the knowing and seeking energy that arose in this body. It feels like it's in this body but it isn't. I don't know that. I feel that. It's the feeling that matters. I won't feel unless there's something that makes me feel. There's nothing here to feel so I feel because of. If there was something here to feel, I would feel regardless. I need something to feel. The only inherent feeling is the feeling energy that arose with the me. The me that's not even there. I only feel because of feeling itself. Energy is boundless and free, free to feel, free to become feelings. It's an illusion, though, it appears as feelings to ground itself. To make it feel as if it's something. It's nothing. Jesus, help me, I'm losing control. I'm losing ground, I'm becoming empty, empty of any and everything. I don't want to feel empty, I want to feel full and vibrant, I want to want, I want to desire, I WANT TO LIVE yet I want nothing. I'm forced to want if I want to live. I don't want to die, yet I feel dead inside. I'm trying to hold on, but it's slipping away. I don't need anything to feel differently, I don't want to feel differently, I just want to not want. I just want to be nothing. This way, I can be everything. It's an impossible feat. I want to live so bad, I'm dying. Dying to live. This is death to me. 

P.S. I'm OK. Incase there's anybody reading this post and thinking I'm losing it or ungrounded. Quite the contrary. I realize that I'm not grounded in anything and im not trying to be. That's being grounded in a way. It's just love expressing itself in the moment. It's beautiful. It's all beautiful. 

 

Edited June 11 by Princess Arabia

[Princess Arabia]

Going to paradise with Eddie Money tonight. I've waited too long.

 

[Princess Arabia]

The knowing energy (humans) fears not knowing, fears the unknown. This is fear in it's essence. The fear of the unknown. This is why we're riddled with fear. The knowing energy fears it's absence and this is why death is the #1 fear; it is the ultimate 'thing' not known.

[Princess Arabia]

When Leo talks about Reality on his blog, like in his most recent post about Math and Reality, and I look at it from the dream perspective and cognize it from that angle, it fits perfectly. It's like he's talking to the one that thinks it's a human being (the me). The separate self, the person, the separate energy that arose within the body and thinks it's separate from everything else. The dream itself. Experience itself. 

The mention of the words world and reality leads me to my world, my reality, my experience, my knowledge.....but without the my. It's like he's talking about how it was all formed, how it seemingly concurred. When I envision the mind part and the imagination part, I see it as Absolute nothingness being 'me' and how 'me' is dreaming up my life and everything around 'me' but not what the Absolute itself is being. 

I look at it as, what's appearing, is the Absolute being whatever is appearing, and that's real. What I'm dreaming about is all mind and imagination and that I'm the dream itself and also imagination itself (the ne), but the Absolute isn't a mind nor imagination. I also look at it as the Absolute being whatever is appearing through mind and imagination, but the latter can't be since the Absolute is everything there is. Meaning the Absolute/God isn't dreaming or imagining anything, I am. 

When I put myself in his words as the dream, as the experience, as separate from reality it fits perfectly but not in an Absolute way because the Absolute is the 'one' talking to itself, writing those words and being Leo himself. So, I see it as the Absolute/God talking to itself but referring to the 'me', the illusion. It fits perfectly then but not what the Absolute/God/Nothingness is actually being, but is also being but only seemingly and appearing to. For example, it is being a bird, but the me is seeing that bird separate from me and the dream is that which sees a separate bird because the dream is spacial but not really occurring. The sense of separateness and the dream and imagination are one but it's not really real since it's only a felt sense.

Let me stop here as I think I'm confusing things a bit, not myself but the way I'm wording it to make it make sense. I'm fascinated with this exploration and will continue to explore more of this and will keep seeing if his words match up to this sense of separateness and if it resonates to the dream and illusory world and existence that i take myself to be in or is itself. I have to also keep in mind that Leo himself is also a 'me' that I see as a separate person, entity, being and how I relate to that energetically. Is he only there because I am (here), and I'm taking him to be someone actually trying to convey a message, or us he just a figment of the imaginary dream I've concocted up that I call Reality. I see the Reality he speaks about as the me's dreamlike reality that's not really there.

I don't know, we'll see because I don't really see a reality, I see people, places, circumstances and objects(things), but there aren't any really since it's all nothing being everything and appearing as such and the stories and ideas about all that appears is the dream of separation. Dunno.

[Princess Arabia]

The me is a sense. Just as tasting, touching, smelling, seeing, hearing. A felt sense. A person can lose their sense of sight, sense of taste, smell and hearing; not sure about touch. The sense of me can also be lost. There's actually no one seeing, smelling, hearing, tasting and touching. They are happening on their own, apparently. The lost sense of me is not really lost just as a sense of taste is not really lost when the person can't taste anymore. The person wasn't tasting to begin with, tasting was just happening. The me sense was never there to begin with so it isn't really lost. 

If there's a sense of me, then everything is in relation to that sense. Just as if there's a sense of smell, what I smell is what the I smells. Another person cannot smell for me because the other person isn't smelling either. Notice none of the five senses can be felt by another for you. They are strictly felt by you. There's no me, and the me isn't smelling anything so when the ne cannot smell or taste anymore, that sense fell away to reveal the truth of the matter that it wasn't there to begin with. So, it's not really a loss.

Same with the me, when it falls away, it's revealed that there never was a me but no one knows that. A blind man and a deaf man is no different from you. The only difference is in the appearance. You cannot see nor hear just as a blind man cannot see or a man cannot hear. It's just the Absolute, being everything, is also being blind and deaf or able to see and hear.

What arises with that me sense is all the characteristics of what it feels like to be human. Separate, owning everything, in relation to everything including awareness. That's the I AM sense. I am here sense. This is developed shortly after birth. It's the same energy. When you see someone and see them as a someone, it's a projection. The me projects everything onto reality. There's really no reality but for the me. There isn't even a real existence. Existence is nothing. There are no objects, the me projects that. It's a fucking mess, yet there's nothing wrong and nothing needs to be any different than what it is. The 5 senses aren't needed for the body to function, only for the me to have the illusory experience of being a me. Without the me there are no senses. All those senses are of the same energy. One cannot choose to lose their senses, the loss happens all naturally and on it's own - same with the sense of me. No amounts of meditation, retreats, silence, or practice can make the me fall away. It's a natural process that happens to no one as the me isn't there already and no one to know about it's absence. It's hopeless.

 

 

 

 

Edited June 13 by Princess Arabia