Should I pay $4k for social skills coaching?

[Samuel Garcia]

Thanks everyone for the input. I think I will try other alternatives like finding groups, going alone or getting some cheap coaching to help push me. If those don't work out, then I will go with the coaching as my heart does feel a great alignment with the values and style of it.

I think I've avoided trying to avoid wingmen as I imagine I would not feel accepted by others for my anxiety but perhaps that is just my negative thinking (plus I want to improve social skills with everyone not just with women).

Although I do have depression and feel my life is dark, part of that is feeling lonely and disconnected. So getting the social side of my life tide down, rather than focusing on healing/therapy - I just never found an answer in therapy or even in spiritual pursuits after many years.

1 hour ago, mmKay said:

Where are you based? EU, US? Living in a good city is key for developing social skills. Do you have that going for you ?

I'm in the UK, about 1hr from London so have the opportunity to practice. 

[LordFall]

Find local people to practice with especially since you're near London as well as read the book The Likeability Factor by Tim Sanders, it's similar to how to win friends and influence people but way better IMO. Basically he says likeability has 4 parts friendliness, relevance, empathy, and realness and as long as you hit those 4 parts most people will enjoy spending time with you. 

 

 

Edited September 10, 2024 by LordFall

[manuel bon]

5 hours ago, Samuel Garcia said:

I have tried doing this stuff by myself recently, but I just feel so much fear and depression go talk to people. I just feel I could do this alone without needing the $4k coaching, but I am not doing it because there is so much neurosis and judgements from this fear of rejection. I would prefer to say "I did it" rather than have to pay for this workshop but I guess I need it at this point.

Anyway, what do you think? Is $4k a bit excessive? Or should I just go for it and stop being so attached to the money? Thanks for your help!

Yeah 4k is excessive... Also, not a single course will help you gain any kind of ability: you will have for sure more knowledge and strategies, but when you find yourself in the field you'll still have anxiety.

[something_else]

7 hours ago, Samuel Garcia said:

less socially anxious and overcome the fear of rejection. Like starting conversations with strangers, frightens me so much. Let alone, talking to a group.

This is exactly what you have to learn to do when you solo travel, but it’s far more socially acceptable. Approaching random strangers on the street is 95% of the time pretty weird thing to do, and you might actually make your problem worse if that’s what the course involves.

You want to find places where approaching new groups and strangers is socially acceptable and learn to do it there. Night clubs and hostels are probably the two best environments on the planet for it and you don’t need to pay 4k to just go to these places and push yourself to be sociable and chat to people.

Edited September 11, 2024 by something_else

[joeyi99]

@Samuel Garcia who is the coach?

[TheEnigma]

9 hours ago, Samuel Garcia said:

Hey all,

I have been struggling to make friends most of my life I am at the point - I just feel I don't connect with people for various reasons. Apart from most people not interested in the inner life, I think also I expressing my authentic self and feel very stuck in depression. I have been quite depressed since I was in university a few years back, but I really want to break free from it.

I found this social skills coaching which I really resonate with and it is for 3 days intensive where I get with an expert and they practice social skills, and go out and talk to strangers pretty much all day in various situations, and get lots of feedback as well as on going support after the programme to make sure I keep taking action and growing. Maybe I am being stingy as I have always struggled with money (with my depression, and not liking any job), but do you think $4k is worth paying? For me it seems a little excessive, and I am not even sure if I will fully overcome my social anxiety and massive fear of rejection. However I do feel a strong alignment with  the teachings and videos I have watched.

I have tried doing this stuff by myself recently, but I just feel so much fear and depression go talk to people. I just feel I could do this alone without needing the $4k coaching, but I am not doing it because there is so much neurosis and judgements from this fear of rejection. I would prefer to say "I did it" rather than have to pay for this workshop but I guess I need it at this point.

Anyway, what do you think? Is $4k a bit excessive? Or should I just go for it and stop being so attached to the money? Thanks for your help!

It depends on your budget. But there's gotta be better ways to use that money to improve social skills. You can just join a group therapy session, where you can share stuff with others, and most of the other people will share stuff with you, and they are not likely to judge you. And those are free. At least you can meet people there and share your challenges, struggles etc and at least get to hear other people face their challenges. And you can improve your social skills and go from there.

Edited September 11, 2024 by TheEnigma