Anyone Want To Fast With Me This Weekend?

[eskwire]

@Shin

Whooooooa I didn't know this existed. That sounds all kinds of fantastic. 

Sun is going down where I am so my retreat weekend begins now. ?

[alyra]

I began it this morning :3 first day of fasting was... well, I was hoping to make it last longer, but my sis was returning from her visit overseas so I wanted to be energetic for that instead of at the end of the fast. I fasted for about 17 hours in total, tho this is counting the sleeping hours last night, and pretending I didn't eat a clementine this morning - I had a snack for breakfast before I realized I'd be doing this

I didn't have much planned yet, so I didn't have time worked into my schedule for meditation, but I did take an opportunity to contemplate what hunger is for 20 minutes. I aimed for 30, but... like I said, I am not practiced in meditation sessions yet in my progress. I am currently focusing on more, directly pragmatic things, as I need to actually rebuild my life's structure right now. I confess that I've been kind of unemployed for a while so my priority is in becoming more active each week, taking action. when I work on mindfulness it is During activity. However, To keep with the theme of our makeshift retreat, I will aim for two 20-minute sessions for the remainder of the weekend. Just because I want to not make it a daily habit yet, doesn't mean I can't make it a short term habit every once and a while

 

also.. unfortunately, upon further reflection, I've realized that it would be counterproductive for my sort term goals for me to fast right now. I need extra food intake actually, as I am trying to build my body's health and my general activity up more quickly now than I have been in the recent past. Just, this current 4 to 6 week period (this has been the 1st week)  I actually intend to prioritize ramping it up, every day. But as I said, I'll take the meditation half of the retreat, and report such activity here as my form of journalling... surface-level review. But I would be certainly up for a more dedicated participation if we decide to do this again  also I take it others may be dedicating more time to meditation than I will this week. but even a little bit is a good start In fact, I might, for my own self, do a meditation "retreat" each weekend - as I said not to focus my daily habit on meditation just yet, but hey, I can practice lengthening my sessions with 2-4 sessions each weekend. No promises yet just a thought. 

 

I talk too much lol Pardon Me. hehe

[Shin]

Looking at my dog eating right now:

[eskwire]

It's only been about 18 hrs since my last meal so no hunger yet.

[alyra]

I'm having difficulty understanding the neti neti method  I'm watching leo's video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oq4NDMNDzSs&t=3s and honestly it seems as if Leo keeps trying to tell us that there is something which is there, and... um, well. um, idk what to say. there's nothing to say... 

 

there are a few things which... traditionally, in certain circumstances I've used in some way to identify a self that is there just as a manner of reference. but I've honestly never held a "true" concept of self. I've literally just never imagined a self in the world. I imagine the world but it is not with a self. if there is anything which could be called a self, it is kind of like... a dimensionless camera that looks outward? lol what a description tho. there's just no holding onto this as a concept. 

 

and I just... It's such an obvious thing in my oppinion, that I just can't believe that this is what we're supposed to find. there's really nothing exciting about it. it's kind of dumb really, and useless. why are there all these people like leo and random enlightened monks who act as if there's some glorious realization to be had? it's... not that... lol... idk.. what to say... there's nothing to really say about it. 

 

and the thing is it isn't just in the self either it's kind of.. every where. some not-thing which isn't really there but there's... "space" for it. it's a weird thing I try to capture sometimes and get amused at its... nonbeing.. it shows up most often when you try to separate things apart really. idk. 

 

anyway, I'm not gonna try the neti neti method after all, because I just don't understand what it is. "not this not that" what is the point of trying to imagine this or that if it's already obviously not this and not that? in fact by doing the method itself you imply there is something... really it seems as if the only real way to do the neti neti method is to not do it 'cause it certainly isn't that lol. it isn't "it" either. eh, I guess I can understand why monks seem to find... amusement.. but idk. doesn't seem that amusing to me. 'cause it isn't amusing lol.  - I guess the neti neti method could be fun in this way lol. 

 

but still it's like... Idk. Idk what to say. so maybe I shouldn't say. 

 

[eskwire]

@aryberry Wasn't obvious to me at all. It helped a lot and really shifted things. I was very fully in "The Self Matrix."

[alyra]

It's  interesting that trying to capture "this" in words -  or even in concept - is kind of like a game. an infinite experiment. you con only win if you capture the win in some way, but it's just so slippery... you keep grasping it and then realize that it isn't there after all. 

[eskwire]

@aryberry Yeah I think that's the point of Neti Neti. You play a game of whack-a-mole when a false concept of self comes up until the realization happens that there is no correct mole. Dig it.