Catanio

Yes, I'm trying to do something similar as well. I like to build up each by noting see, hear, and feel individually and then back up and combine them all together. Very powerful!

@MelanieWalker I can really relate to this post. I'm curious as to what kind of meditation you practice?

You are not alone in feeling physical pain during self-inquiry/meditation. In my first year of meditation I remember numerous times telling myself I would never meditate again. I had constant doubts whether this practice was helping me or actually hurting me. When you start to feel these things, whether it be physical or emotional pain during this process of purification, it's not what we would have hoped it would be. I think we all have many expectations that we bring with us on this path and these expectations will inevitably have to be challenged along the way. I think most people who pursue enlightenment focus on what they will gain and ignore what they will inevitably lose. Physical pain is part of the purification process and all of us on this path should learn to see it as true progress. But of course that doesn't mean we have to torture ourselves either.

True nonviolence is actually a position of tremendous strength. The easy thing is to answer violence with more violence. It takes courage to turn the other cheek.

I've taken the Myers Briggs personality test many times and almost always get INFJ. I just finished reading MLK's autobiography and he was without a doubt a true INFJ. I was very inspired personally of what he was able to accomplish in a relatively short life (assassinated at the age of 39). Now I'm making my way through Gandhi's autobiography, who had a considerable influence on King's philosophy of nonviolent direct action. Should be a good read hopefully. It's actually kind of scary how accurate those tests are.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wDUcfw1n9Nw I recently just watched this presentation that Shinzen Young made at a Buddhist Geeks Conference. It was extremely profound and inspiring. He describes how a cross-fertilization between contemplative experience and modern science could potentially alter the course of human history. Its a long video but I think well worth your time if your interested in enlightenment topics and like to think about these things with a scientific perspective.

Is the fifth guy the "ego"?

@Avi yeah man. I get the same thing happening to me. In fact I felt pretty depressed about it today. These are just egoic reactions I believe. They are always temporary but expect them to keep happening as you progress. Enlightenment is some scary shit.

Vipassana retreats are really good. I just finished my first 10 day course and it changed my life! However I would only recommend attending one if your intention was to learn that specific technique.