lmfao

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  1. lmfao replied to lmfao's topic in Self-Actualization Journals

    Sat 12/12/2020, 23:00 ?LA VIDA SOLA VI VIVIRÁS , LA VIDA SOLA VI VIVIRÁS , ANGELS PLAYING DISGUISE WITH DEVIL'S FACES, CHILDREN CLING TO THEIR COIN, SQUEEZING OUT THEIR WISDOM?, god I'm obsessed with this song rn, AOT hype is real rn. Makes me wanna jihad. I fluctuate between high and low energy a lot, but this gets me pumped. --- Need to sort out my clothes and practice my eulogy for a funeral coming up next week. Oh and get a haircut. 1) What else. Email some university people, and do some uni work before Wednesday. 2) A lot on my plate for me, considering my sleep is shit, low energy and ssri come off. Today and 3 days for all that. Make that more like 2.
  2. @Javfly33 the tricky thing is that every idea or abstraction can be part of a story. Often, content of your ideas don't matter, what matters is the context they are in, the relationship you hold to them. And that meta element won't be so obvious to an outsider observer, although you can tell sometimes when someone is speaking from genuine experience. Delusion then is a function of structure, and not content. You replace one paradigm with another paradigm. I've had strong mystical experiences before, had some sort of insight I put into words. The problem is that the mystical experience was something in the past, it becomes memory and you act on whatever concepts mechanically. Yesterday's illuminating insight is today's bullshit.
  3. @meow_meow I was thinking the other day that I don't know what it means to surrender. I would give a theoretical answer but I'll spare that untill I manage to do it myself
  4. Cool analogy with the lucid dreaming and using the dream objects What do you mean developing 'faith' that nothing is real? Is faith a shift of the mind towards determination and intensity upon seeing something profound?
  5. That resonates to me. I think moderation is one of those things that can't fully be contained in some list of rules. Hence intuition and moment by moment judgement, correctly guided and not just someone abusing power. -- Having seen some discord servers. What strict laws/rules often do is that they prevent some wrong through preventing something that is neutral in of in itself, but that neutral thing can be used for 'wrong purposes' ( but also for some good purpose ) The more highbrow approach is to not ban those things, but use intuition and moment by moment judgement to respond correctly to when something arises. All that to say, yeah, I think it's tricky and I agree with an inclination towards situational judgement rather than some fixed set of rules. letter of the law vs spirit of the law. Upon operating from intuition and situational judgement as a mod, I'm sure you've seen yourself criticised or attacked for that a bit since people will complain that you have double standards from their POV. Everyone turns into a lawyer when these situations happen, for good and bad. -- All that said and etc, I still perceive the core of what I said earlier, a doublethink in myself and plenty others on this forum.
  6. @Preety_India Interesting. I don't know this situation about your ex, how you've tried moving on in the past. @xxxx gave really good advice I'll advise something that me be a bit bold, ignore it if you've done it before or you think it will be that detrimental. For the sake of your own growth and emotional healing, have a very honest, open and frank conversation with your abuser (this boy in this case). Have no shame or self-doubt in owning everything that you're feeling right now. And when you talk to him, be honest about how vulnerable and hurt you feel (rather than just expressing anger and hate without admitting your own sensitivity and hurt), whilst also not being doubt or shameful about the validity and worth of your feelings. Maybe you won't get a response from him that shows much remorse or concern. But the important thing is that for yourself, you were able to develop the courage to own your feelings completely and stand up to your oppressor.
  7. @BipolarGrowth How does Neo wake up?
  8. Brother Adeptus makes some good points. Eh, strong disagree there. --- To be honest, it seems as though operating on this forum requires doublethink. On the one hand, you want to remain openminded and honest about your opinions, and everyone conceptually agrees that you need to not believe anything and form your own opinion. On the other hand, Leo locks threads and everyone ridicules you if you deviate from some dogma. You can't simultaneously ask people to be openminded and not believe anything but then chastise people for deviating from your dogma slightly. Someone might try to give some "you're damned if you do, damned if you don't" in regards to policing/moderation, I wouldn't be able agree

  9. Immortality

    lmfao replied to SS10's topic in Personal Development -- [Main]

    Death gets closer and closer. Every breath is one breath less, every minute is one minute less. -- Each time your cells replicate, for each and every miniscule shift in your energy, you age in some way. It's natural. I'd be amazed if such an omnipresent force like physical aging could be overcome. It would be like trying to stop entropy, trying to stop brownian motion. Death as a property of reality is inherent, regardless of lifespan. Flux and impermanence is death.

  10. lmfao replied to lmfao's topic in Self-Actualization Journals

    Thursday 10/12/2020 16:53 This is obviously a weird low point and rut of mine. My body is chronically fatigued and low in energy to do anything. If change can't happen through addition, perhaps it can happen through demolition and subtraction, but that will be a lot more painful and slow. If I forcefully deprive myself of habits and coping mechanisms, well something will have to happen. The question is, how can I get myself to take such a journey when the coping is all I know and consumes my entire day. How do I take those first steps. I want to unattach from technology, one problem being that I still have to interact with technology for the sake of my work, even in the ideal case. ---- I still forget about actuality. Yesterday I realised that I don't know what it actually means to surrender, I just knew the word. --- Part of this will involve making a plan and ruthlessly executing it. And of course consciousness. But also "surrendering" and letting things be
  11. Supposing this alien business is true, which I reckon it might be. It seems as though national governments have been taking the approach of slowly dripping more and more info and hints about aliens into the populace, so that it is slowly normalised and grows in the unconscious, so that everyone isn't as shocked whenever it's confirmed. Because let's be real. How many of us will think "eh, I kinda already knew" when all of this gets confirmed? Whatever information we're given about aliens, it's being given very slowly and gradually. It makes things less exciting and dramatic when they do this strategy of very gradual acclimatisation and hints.
  12. I remember in high school this girl was open with everyone that her boyfriend was like 28 when she was 17, maybe her family and stuff were okay with it I have no clue (this is in the UK). No one said anything about it like it was weird, I just found it odd but never said anything.
  13. @SQAAD Evangelion mood
  14. @Blackhawk fair. You do have a point about it being fear or random sentiments.
  15. @Gesundheit If you're asking why Leo says reality isn't a simulation, I think it's because he was addressing theories about all of us literally being hooked up in machines like the film "The Matrix". The simulation theory that many materialistic Elon Musk followers are a fan of. Criticising the metaphysical implications of simulation theories on ultimate/absolute reality , rather than saying it isn't a possibility for relative truth ( maybe he did criticise it as so, Idk, but I would guess that he didn't. I haven't watched his video.) Not that I think this simulation theory is absurd or something as a possibility (I just haven't thought about it much, and I imagine there a several variants you could come up with). We might try to scientifically make the claim that the brain causes/runs/is consciousness, and that sort of thing has been discussed here a lot (the idea of brain and etc is arising in consciousness). Well now the claim here is that a computer built by some aliens or other humans is causing our consciousness, or "contains" our consciousness. Perhaps if this was thoroughly looked at it, it would be no conceptually different in general structure from the claim that brains cause consciousness. Saying that our brains are simulated in computers kinda just passes down the buck to one level of abstraction further, without changing any general principles. And then this is playing a game of causation, where it's "turtles all the way down"
  16. The logic you've been spouting in this thread is far from comprehensive or complete. For many scientific innovations, e.g. medicines, drugs and foods, the "burden of proof" is often on those companies to test that it is safe before they allow all humans to use it. I'm not asking that the same standard be applied be here, but to show the room for error and gaps in your thinking. ---- This isn't me saying I think or know they cause harm. To my personal intuition and "common sense", it isn't a large "leap" to think it's possible that lots of electromagnetic waves in the advent of technology may have an impact on the human biology, possibly in a negative/perturbing way. What seems like a plausible leap or plausible concern to me might seem like an irrational leap to you, and vice versa. Everyone has "common sense" or "gut" concerns, but everyone has different ones. It's quite relative and tricky to navigate. You can't do away with the problem completely by labelling all these hunches as hogwash either. Since we all have correct hunches for things that might be bad for us even if we aren't scientists with studies on hand to prove it. But I have no idea if they do cause harm. It's already known that using technology changes your brain and psychology due to interacting with the content of technology in a particular way (social media, addiction, etc), but that's not the same as saying that these waves inherently cause physical harm. Maybe some studies out there sufficiently 'debunk' the idea, I don't know.
  17. @vinc3nc Good post, I can relate to what you said with my current experience in life. No need for psychedelics though in my case, meditation gives me enough existential terror. Maybe it's the pain of our worlds falling apart that's obfuscating joy. Just continue on with it and see what happens. I don't think it's an easy solution, and these things can't be resolved without a complete dive in. Also very strongly relate to this complete turning inwards as your own source of knowledge and authority. And at that point, seeking spiritual advice from gurus and seekers seems like a complete farce or game to play. You can temporarily push down all the realisations and fears in order to function in life as you did before, but it's simply lodged in the back of your mind, never leaving. It inevitably comes back. It's an unavoidable bullet, it feels as though. One of my favourite quotes: "Your head is already in the tiger's mouth. There is no escape" Once you've gone past a certain point unexpectedly, it will keep gnawing away at you and coming back at you no matter how many times you try to push it down and forget, and resume normal life.
  18. @Galyna What is your relation to "solipsism" now? That I cannot experience or verify other POVs existing, I can't figure out what the meaning of that is. I may logically try and think of hidden meanings and non-dual narratives behind it, but it doesn't amount to anything. I've started meditation again recently, and I remembered (once again) the reason I stopped. It was fear of going insane, emotions which surfaced again. My experience of other people being limited to another perception within my experience. And my mind feeling confused in general from instability. This really all is the overlooked obvious. The experience of oneness means that there's ultimate loneliness and existential dread. I freak out, being completely alone is insane. I have a pattern of stopping and starting again spiritual work because I get scared every time I approach something deep.

  19. lmfao replied to lmfao's topic in Self-Actualization Journals

    @MuadDib Yeah glad to see someone else going through the same thing haha. Very relatable. Only recently am I starting to appreciate the importance of organisation, conscientiousness, planning, etc. I have to form my own routine, signals and cues to work. Right now, my physical environment is disconnected from the reality of having work to do, because it's all compartmentalised to online. The fact that I'm actually supposed to be studying and doing a degree is abstracted away, since my physical environment is just chilling at home,.

  20. lmfao replied to lmfao's topic in Self-Actualization Journals

    Sunday 06/12/2020, +1 00:58 Today has not been good, double whammy of bad news in regards to my university work. I'm probably gonna fail a module or two. Working from home is very difficult compared to normal. The SSRI withdrawal is starting to act up. I have vertigo, chills, "brain zaps", dissociation, I have anxiety and unfinished tasks. I'm not having a panic attack but my stress is high. I still have to prepare some things for a funeral coming up as well in addition to this uni work. I can still chin up though, the emotions are strong but I'm able to not engage a complete emotional avoidance and lockdown. I know one thing I need to do today, but it's not gonna be fun. But "thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven" , as they say. I have felt tinges of my natural/normal self returning to me since my dose was severely cut until mere scraps now. Dimensions of old emotion returning. My libido has gone up. I also feel particular flavours of anxiety I haven't felt in a while. Whilst it is uncomfortable, I prefer it this way. And it's not so terrible that I have to run away from it. Better to be a human neurotic than to be a neurotic with anhedonia who's locked from growing. I don't feel completely fucked though, somehow. In the past I would have panicked and shut down more in a situation like this. --- So many factors and forces coming together, it's an incentive to redress my life. How I spend my time, how I waste time. Steps I can take that for too long I've not taken. Every excuse and justification to not grow is fear.
  21. Making this post because I have a lot of problems with this idea of "karma" and seeing many people holding it in a delusional way. Randomly reading ' A Course in Miracles' was the spark which made all these things in my mind click. Notions of "karma", a branch of that being "sin", engenders fear. "Karma". Within all the undifferentiated myriad of associations and ways you can hold this idea, I see an underlying false thread which you can get caught in. ------------------------------------------ Extending from karma, a notion that you have "sinned" somehow to get to where you are. That Eve ever sinned in the garden of eden is a lie. What this view of karma leads to is a few things. You think you have sinned against god, "fear god's wrath" , and hence you see the world as a form of vengeance which will strike you at any moment. You walk around thinking the world always has strings attached. Zero sum game attitude. You are stingy, on guard and non generous , because fundamentally, you are scared of being hurt. But it can go deeper than just fear of being hurt. In it's ultimate conclusion, the thread can lead to a dark place. The notion of "sinning" in a dark twist can lead to shame and guilt about one's own existence, thinking that you are unworthy of anything good, and you think you deserve to be thrown in hell. And so your mind creates your own hell. A tangible manifestation of the things I'm talking about are found in Fundamentalist Abrahamic religions. They contain projected/channeled material that show delusional worldviews you project onto reality/truth ----------------------- EVE'S ONLY "SIN" WAS IMAGINING AND MAKING UP THE STORY THAT SHE EVER SINNED IN THE FIRST PLACE. Eve thinks she's in duality and fears she killed non-duality but there was never duality in the first place. The great contradiction/paradox.
  22. @InterruptReQuest There are indeed multiple facets to experience you can penetrate and have mystical highs from, or that you grasp with an insight. But there is no objective categorisation of such a thing. Everyone will rationalise and explain what they experienced in their idiosyncratic way. We will each have our own stories and narratives as/after it's happened. All sorts of shit and narratives get projected onto mystical experiences. I think all people interested in this work should take the time to reflect and unravel their psychology and beliefs. I could give my own story about how "no free will" and no-self was my first mystical experience, but that makes no difference to someone else if they hear it. As for methods. Just what everyone on this forum talks about. Meditation, yoga, etc.
  23. Jordan Peterson has brought Hitler quite a few times in his lectures, interesting points of view if you're interested in listening to JP. I don't have the interest now to watch JP, but I used to and I'm glad I did, picked up a few random things. So some people will find value. I only remember this lecture in particular where Hitler came up unexpectedly when talking about conscientiousness. Disgust sensitivity, Immune system against pathogens, authoritarianism, putting the world into boxes, etc. Interesting stuff. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3641067/ So the hypothesis here. Prevalence of infectious disease pathogens (a particular type of threat to survival) -----> More authoritarianism. Also wanting to mix with out groups less (e.g. another race or foreign civilisation, fear of the unknown ) Here's a random example which partially illustrates "why" fear of outgroups might exist as an evolution mechanism. ---- Hitler always described the jews using medical terminology, like they were a pathogen. "Disgust" being a key emotion in all this. I suppose in this case of Hitler or such normalised genocide, disgust was marketed and riled up in people somehow.
  24. This sounds about right. In the UK, and I'm presuming most of the world, they're cutting short the scientific testing and trialing time that is usually needed before a vaccine is officially deemed safe. I'm not worried about catching covid myself. I'm worried about giving the virus to others though. But I'm particular about letting random things into my body. It's not a conspiratorial thing.

  25. 3 YEARS on this Forum

    lmfao replied to Preety_India's topic in Personal Development -- [Main]

    ? So with sadness in my heart I feel the best thing I could do Is end it all and leave forever ..... IT ALL RETURNS TO NOTHING, IT ALL COMES TUMBLING DOWN TUMBLING DOWN TUMBLING DOWN ? Just kidding