Samurai Y

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  1. Fatigue combined with other things you've stated can indicate depression, or a current physical manifest of suppressed emotions that are 'negative'. They can morph into fatigue.
  2. @Azote No, no, it's not arrogant, it's great if it works out. I'm saying that 'star-kid' type of upbringing results often with neurosis in your adult life - you are not achieving enough - this is not good enough - I am not good enough - this is meaningless - I have no purpose. Multiply that with your perfectionism + missing the true mastery in the field, voila. Focus on the bigger picture & enjoy the process.
  3. Whoa. Good stuff, guys. I was just wondering - were you all brought up as "star-kids" by your parents? I feel like this thing "I want to become X" takes a lot of weight with it, and ultimately is the thing that keeps us away from enjoying the process itself and makes us unhappy. I am speaking as someone who already had several career changes - from the artist, to teacher, to marketer and a pr (for art). And although the settings were quite different, in my mind, everything came down to "this is BS". Now am thinking - how come everything I do appears as BS in the end? So many different careers, and one the same answer every fucking time? Let's say I even managed to raise the bar and become X in my latest career, and am so 'X', I'm exhausted with so many decisions I need to make. I started analyzing my decisions to b.c., and I figured out my first love were animals and animal rescue and my love for science. The reason for not pursuing these paths were...I guess I loved art equally as much. Languages and communication as well. I kinda loved everything as a kid. I loved learning things for its own sake. Speaking of changes, I've also changed several countries as well. And now I'm like - maybe online business run from SEA would be something for me... I am willing to grow and challenge myself, but in the end - I do not feel the fulfillment. Maybe at peak times. Why so? Speaking of 'leaving something to the world' - I kinda also figured out, that my artistic work, and especially teaching - did have a lot of impact on the people and kids around me. If you get the chance to plant love and kindness into their hearts, or point to some blind spots that will open them new horizons, multiply that with generations, your impact is huge. Isn't that amazing?! However, I might conclude that I was nothing but an ignorant fuck throughout the time of my adult existence, trying to "become X".
  4. Hehe, Kanye was reading Eckart Tolle He has a huge platform, great if he starts using it for these purposes as well...
  5. Thanks for being so selfless in sharing your wisdom. One love <3
  6. It completely opened up my blockages and raised my level of consciousness. Weed actually domino-effected me here. Sure, there could be different periods you're going through, but my overall experience is very positive.
  7. I guess once you find out - the vision will be clear, and you'll be able to plan and work strategically towards it - every small, short term thing you're doing will be integrated in your vision and will work for you. It's not that you lack planning or organizational skills, but the purpose to wrap them around it. Pieces of a puzzle are coming together, just be patient & keep up the good work, sounds like you're on the right track :-)
  8. I kinda feel it could be interpreted as 'opening up'. Your body is reacting to your mind ;-) When your neck is tense, head/chin position is lower than usual.
  9. Let's do this. Let's organize donation per city/territory. So you @Leo Gura could book the cities that raised enough (including Europe!:-) I can already see couple of Norwegian fellows invited you to Norway in this thread - so, there's definitely 'critical mass' here and this should be totally doable on our end. @art @MarinM Practical info - Norwegian is flying Oslo - Las Vegas, for as low as 350usd (return ticket) - it's only a bit more expensive than to fly within the States, so financially, nothing 'extra/too-hard' in it when you make a comparison in 'surrounding areas' and Scandinavia, e.g. Excluding us would seem like a deep, fat fried excuse, actually. Get out of your comfort zone I guess you want to keep it low-key and private at this point. If not, maybe putting up a YT video to spread the word would gain more traction - I'm here quite often and I missed this thread even it's been up for 2 months. 'Leo puts up a video on Tour and M&G on YT, and the life unfolds..."
  10. Here's mine, from the top of my mind. Interesting practice. I'm so focused on my work and career, and nothing of it in my vision board. Makes you think...
  11. Long story short: Female, single child of over-protecting and pretty controlling parents, especially my mother (they got me after 6 babies lost). In lack of any other, I became their life purpose. Heavy. I started exploring my sexuality at the age of 12. I had boys, but I was equally curious about girls. My mom discovered I was kissing/dating a girl at the age of 14, told my dad, and that action of mine caused all sorts of bans and me ending up not wanting to 'go there' cause it's something 'unacceptable and shaming'... Sad. I am almost positive that this affected me having my first sexual experience with a male later on, and not with a female, which was pretty much what I was rooting for; maybe cause it was more of a comfort zone at the time, maybe cause it totally wasn't, I cannot figure it out. FF to today, I'm 30yo and I'm with a person that had many women in his life. We're 5yrs together and our sex life was awesome from the beginning, but I was always somewhat aware that he was enjoying it way more than I was. I had my first 'eureka' moment couple of months ago, and when it comes to sex, I realized I was never trully relaxed/accepting/giving during the act (while I was convinced I was not sensual/sexual enough). Realizing that, my libido skyrocketed and if I may say, I never felt the act more as a circulation of the energies and (infinite) love as I'm feeling it now. It's almost mind-blowing to me what was hidden underneath for this entire time without me realizing it. Anyways, I was never a jealous person and those couple of times when I did sense jealousy, I considered it extremely degrading and not something I want to be a part of. Ever since I had this raise of awareness, I really started working on myself, trying do accept every bit of me, not victimize, not project, non-needy, contemplate what my true nature is, have only love and acceptance for myself. Figured out it was always about being free, open, exploring and learning. Applied to sex, this 'true nature' realization and love & acceptance led me further to realize that I am excited for my partner when I sense the energy between him and another woman. It's an undenieble part of his nature as well - exploration. I think I reached the point where I'm able to be excited and happy for whatever makes him blossom, simple as that, does not matter if it's sex with another woman or if he climbed Mt.Everest, if you get my point. By sharing this with him, I could sense him being even more loving, connected, borderline mind-blown, and I guess all - just because he's reaching new levels of acceptance from my side. However, my dilemma here is the following: is this higher-me meeting the compersion, or my ego is trying to pull a trick on me by satisfying itself by adding the missing puzzle to the picture, i.e. a woman that I've never had? Or a 'limbo' between these two? Tried to search 'compersion' topic here, but couldn't find anything. Any other 'fellow-perverts' that would like to contribute?
  12. @Shin It crossed my mind several times it might be the case. But then, when you have a tumor that needs to be operated, you make sure your blood tests are ok, you're not underweight, you do the preps and you make sure you can handle it, and then you go under the radical treatment, right? I am 31y/o and I had my first introspective three months ago, where I realized I was pretty much on auto-pilot for my entire life. Psychology was never a point of my interest, not to mention spiritualism, and here I am now. Doing transactional analysis on daily basis, reading it, absorbing it and connecting the dots for myself. One of the first ideas with my journey now is actually to stop lying myself. I don't think I'm justifying myself or finding excuses when I say - I'm learning how to walk, and you're asking me to run marathon. I really feel I'm telling you the truth. @Ilya depends on the amount of work I invest into it, but I think it will take me about 2 years to master my psychology and to trully understand everything behind it and get back to the guide. @Leo Gura How to throw your life away without throwing the people that are part of it as well? This gives me the same feeling as when I think about the universe - everything else seems so pointless afterwards. How to maintain your motivation for 'ordinary life things' afterwards and balance it all, keep up with your job you love, let's say, and not maybe talk about enlightenment all the time? Is it even possible to keep up with daily things without seeing them absurd, when you know 'the secret' and when you're so aware of everything? Apologies if I sound ignorant. I'll comfort myself with the idea it's perfectly normal and allowed at this stage of self-development. :-)
  13. @Ilya No, but I think I should neutalize my insecurities, fears, victim roles and all that stupid things that go on repeat first. Those basics before I really tap into non-duality. Do the homework, educate more, declutter and gradually set the cybernetics for the final destination.