Frylock

Absolutely not I don't blame him. But societal conditioning, plus the ego's attachment to comfort zones, will lead to greater suffering down the road.

You have a lot of mental roadblocks, hurdles, and preconceived notions about sex, dating, relationships. Trust me, I know where you're coming from. Just relax... peel off all of those layers and ideas you have about the opposite sex. Work on your inner (self-awareness, mental barriers) and outer (style, conversation) game. A woman that you want isn't just going to be delivered to your house. Online dating is a game of near certain failure for men. You've gotta go and put yourself out there, physically. You're too young to give up on something you know you want. Don't waste years of your life like I did.

Leo's got that cult of personality. Not that it's a bad thing... Most people really don't care to listen to someone who doesn't have a charismatic persona. There's definitely a niche for someone who, in essence, brashly says "Wake the fuck up, idiot!" It's moving and inspiring.

Why does it take so much time and focus and effort to get that feeling? Why does it take a drug like DMT to get the feeling? Imagine a heroin addict wanting to get high, or alcoholic wanting to get drunk. No amount of inquiry or yearning will make them feel the sensations of an altered consciousness. That's how I feel about DMT. It so-called brings you together with infinity... but you've gotta extract it from some animal somewhere. And sitting around meditating for years ain't gonna get you high like a drug.

You can't trick yourself into actually believing something if you don't feel it. Rather than saying "I'm awesome!" and trying to believe it, just say to yourself something like "How would I behave if I felt like I was awesome? What would I do? And what's the alternative to not feeling that way?" At least that way you're not trying to deceive yourself. Rather, you're coming at it from an observant perspective.

Survival instincts are deeper entrenched than egos. If I were to theorize why we identify with our egos, I'd say it has to do with how our tribal communities evolved, and how we played specific and niche roles in a society. If you forget your role, you're likely not going to be able to act consistently in keeping the group's goals in-tact. But then, you're at the mercy of society and its expectations from you.

It all depends on what you want. Some guys and girls want to explore many sexual possibilities, others care more for a long-term relationship with one partner (which are difficult to maintain after several years, anyhow).

So then DMT is like a Starman? Temporary godlike power-up? But that's what psychedelics are... an alternative high state. One that supposedly can possibly make you realize the absolute. But who' to say that's the absolute? Why not drunk or high? Good post though. Thanks for sharing your experiences. I want to be able to relax in public too, so it gives me some hope.

No one became enlightened through happiness, right?

The only way to handle negative emotions is to accept them. Emotions are a physical sensation in the body. Shine your light of awareness on the physical sensation. Don't judge it or put a label on it, just be with it. This is how you process emotion in a non-toxic way. You'll never get rid of negative emotions, as they're part of being human. This is a trick I recently learned. I haven't found a better way of dealing with something like, say, a breakup.

To some extent, there is some levels of truth in RedPill's madness. However, instead of stepping outside of the boundaries of their comfort zone and actively working to adapt to understand women and psychology, they'd rather just be bitter about it. I don't think any type of community that festers such a closed mind about human relationships can be considered helpful in too many ways.

Yes I did. A lot, actually. I questioned reality, why I'm alive, who my parents really are. I felt like life was dream-like. My mom got into religion and made me go several times a week for almost a decade. That kind of killed the natural curiosity I had for a while, because I accepted it as "Oh, I guess it was God and angels and yadda yadda." Very stunting for my spirit, ironic since religions are supposedly to show the way. Anyways, I also got entrenched deeper in my neuroses, into distractions, society, education, and so forth. I lost touch with the soul I had when I was a child. When I meditate, I strive for the feeling of awe and wonder I had as a child. Being alive isn't as mundane as society wants you to think. Curiosity gets stripped from us from a young age. We get confined into a box, and that natural sense of awe gets diminished as we become adults. Anywho. I rambled enough. Yes, I did question who or what I really am as a kid. Although that feeling got suppressed, I'm re-embracing the questiond again decades later.

In a relationship? Not very much at all, because if you're in a relationship, you've already attracted the other person, and from there, below the surface level stuff can grow. In the context of attracting someone? Important. You don't have to be a stunner. Just need to be well groomed, dress well, and have good posture to be perceived as attractive. And even then, that won't be enough for some people. Numbers game, etc.

Smells have the most powerful nostalgia effect. I know for me, I played a lot of video gamed as a youth, so the smell of those old school plastic manuals and cartidged and whatever really trigger my nostalgia. I know a lot of my memories and childhood experiences that I've long since "forgotten" will pop up into my conscious awareness from time to time. I see this as a good thing, like my mind is trying to tie up loose ends that have affected me emotionally. The memory can be something as simple as fishing with my dad by the lake.

Living is hell.

But also incorrect at the same time?

Think of it from her perspective. Why would she say you only want her for her body? You're probably only projecting a sexual intention, and not focusing on building a genuine, true, emotional connection with her. Women can tell when you're present with them, but they can also tell when your mind is off in other places and not really with them. They can also tell the fuckboys from the gentleman lovers. Her needs also need to be met, you can't just focus on yourself, or a relationship can never blossom out of that place of selfishness. Develop some empathy. Take the feedback you get from women. Learn how to emotionally connect with them, instead of just view them as a sex object for your pleasure. I'm not saying sexual projection is bad, because it's a good thing, but it sounds like you're leaning too heavily on that and you're coming off as a sleazy creep. Learn to back up and create space, and read how she responds to your words and actions. Obviously if she's putting up resistence, you need to recalibrate and adjust to the situation. And don't wait on any woman. That's not empowering behavior.

Leo says beware of being a Zen Devil... I don't really know what all that entails, but it sounds more interesting. Can you explain more on what a Zen Devil is and why it should be avoided?

Aww I thought it was something cooler... no one likes an asshole.

You don't need to be an extrovert to be charismatic. There's this divide that we have in our minds of "Oh, I'm an extrovert, so I can't be like this." or "Oh, I'm an introvert, so I'm not comfortable when doing this." If you want to be a well balanced human, you'll realize you're not a label, and that you're comfortable in certain areas that others might be in and vice versa. Quiet/low energy/calm people can be charismatic, because they can be perceptive and good listeners. Not everyone wants to be around a comedian or class clown. Those people wear on you after a while. Your job is not to entertain people, but to build connections.

Who's "they"?

I don't believe in God, or even like to use that word. Life is dream-like, though.

Hi all. I practiced meditation/awareness a couole years ago, and noticed my dreams every night were becoming more vivid. I stopped meditating, probably out of complacency and laziness. However, I've been back on the daily mindfulness/awareness thing, and I've once again noticed that my dreams are becoming more vivid, and I'm able to take a clear message from them after I wake up. Does anyone else have this experience? Why is it that becoming more aware of sensations in our body creates a less clouded subconscious, to where I'm able to remember my dreams better? I guess it should be obvious.. but the fact that becoming more aware in our conscious body has a direct impact of what's happening underneath the conscious level is interesting.

@see_on_see I agree with what you've said! The most intense levels of emotion I feel seem to be in my dreams, particularly when it comes to awe, fear, and joy. Last week I had a dream where I was in a dark room looking at my hand. It felt so vivid and intense, that I was in a blissful state of awe just looking at my palm. Suddenly, I realized I was dreaming, and I had an intense feeling of fear. I've had lucid dreams plenty of times, but they usually end with me waking up in a panic state due to sleep paralysis. It's like my sleeping body wants to move like I am in my dream, but activates the paralysis so that I don't wander. Dreams are wonderful things that connect you to your deepest emotions, sometimes suppressed feelings that we've buried away in our waking life. We get so caught up in our minds, that we lose the feeling of sensations and being alive. I think dreams can help reinvigorate that.

I would say that practical meditation only has one primary objective: moving your awareness outside of your head and into your body. And not just your body, but all sensations within your sensory field. Being more keenly aware of external and internal stimuli is beneficial for many reasons: you learn how to better respond to your emotional reactions, you become more aware of your posture and stress points, and you become more present with people and the world around you. Once you establish an awareness habit of at least 20 minutes a day, the results can be instantaneous. Your whole day can be one big awareness practice, and you can choose to be in this state at all times. Most people walking down the street are stuck in their heads and aren't really aware of what's going on around them. They're hunched over, seem disengaged, etc. People who are keen on awareness have a more present and natural feel to them. I hope this helps Charlotte.