Claire Verlyn

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About Claire Verlyn

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    Indonesia
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    Female

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  1. i had bad acne..like really really bad acne....my face was full of small bumps....it's because i didnt wash my face. i know it may seem silly to you...but i was trying to get rid of my acne...and i found some posts that said that caveman regimen works wonders to many people who try to deal with acne. so i tried not to wash my face with any cleanser...and i only use water....at that time i didnt look at the mirror at all...i dont know how bad my skin was...i think it was so bad....really really bad...that my mom even said that my face was full of small bumps..but i still kinda believed in caveman regimen....and now i found that it was silly of me doing caveman regimen....long story short my skin is much better now after using some products of course...it's getting better and better...i can say that my face is almost clear now...but the past still haunts me in the present moment...the past in which i had very bad skin and i dont know whether my friends were disgusted but i think they may have been disgusted by my look...and now my skin is much better...sometimes i dont know if people who used to see my very very very bad acne now still think that im not beautiful enough even though now i can say that my face is almost clear and getting better and better....please help me...how can i deal with this feeling?? thanks in advance
  2. @Strikr @Caterpillar @Charlotte @Mu_ @Torkys i also feel like i cant be confident bcs i dont have instagram... i dont know whether people will think that this girl is so weird, not attractive, not happy with her life,... do you have to have instagram in order to feel happy about yourself and be confident in who you are? or can you still have many friends without having instagram? what if im not attractive to guys bcs of not having instagram?
  3. let me tell you why i feel like im a weirdo. i dont have instagram account. considering most of my friends have instagram account, i feel like sometimes it's hard for me to fit in with my friends. however, i still have friends when i'm at school. i dont feel really lonely at school. i still can have conversation with friends, i have some good friends, and if someone invites me to their birthday party, i still come, if there is someone asking me to go watch movie, i will go with them. it looks like i have a pretty normal life as a teenager. people might probably think that i have instagram. but, in fact, i dont have that. i feel shy when i tell them the fact that i dont use it anymore. i still feel like i'm a really weird person although i have reasons why i dont use instagram anymore. it's because i have other things that are way more important to do than scrolling through instagram unconsciously. i feel like if i have instagram, my life will be much worse because i will procrastinate more and not be able to focus and do things that i know i'm supposed to do. even though i dont have instagram anymore, i realize that i still like to procrastine by watching youtube and acting like a victim in life and feel the need to seek validation from other people...although i try to take baby steps to make several changes in my life. so my question is how do i have to deal with this feeling of not being able to fit in with society?
  4. i feel like i've been in a toxic environment. this has caused me in doing something in an unproductive way and not willing to take actions and oftentimes procrastinating due to the beliefs or ideas that they hold about how life works, how people are supposed to live, how society works, what is good and what is bad, how perfect life looks like, and so on and so forth. many people around me have limiting beliefs that make me incapable of being productive and passionate about something or harnessing my creativity and my intuition. i really want to move to another place, hoping to find positive and empowering people and surround myself with people who have high consciousness in their life and act like a creator, not a victim in their own life. but somehow i feel like it's nearly impossible. the first reason is that i'm still in high school, but next year i will go to another city to continue my education in college. secondly, i once had this talk in my mind, "do you think that such wonderful environment with passionate and conscious people can exist in this era?" i mean don't get me wrong. i'm not saying that there aren't any positive and empowering people in this world, but to find such environment with that kind group of people is really a challenge in society nowadays. so my question is how do you deal with toxic people in your life if you know that it's impossible to get rid of them?
  5. I already know that there is something deep down inside of me that says that i have to change. i feel like i have this kind of urge, a sense of calling to become a better, confident person. i always want to have confidence in who i am right now, accept and truly love myself. i also want to live by my own values. i dont want to search for someone's validation or approval anymore. part of me says that I'm done with it. i can't live by being dependant on what other people think of me. but, there is also something that really holds me back. and i've already realized that it's my past. sometimes there are images about the past projected in my own head. i once had very bad bad like really bad bad bad acne on my face. i felt like i was so ugly that i couldnt even look myself in the mirror. actually, before i had really severe acne, i also didnt think that i was that beautiful although many people say that im physically beautiful. and now im trying to look at myself again in the mirror and long story short, my face is much much better and clearer right now. im trying to feel pretty just the way i am right now. i have realized that i have to accept myself and love myself even though i had bad acne. but at some point of my life, i still feel worried about what other people think of me, especially my look. that really makes me insecure every time i try to look at the eye of a person when i'm talking to that person. there's also part of me that says "why do i even have to change myself? i mean what if other people say something about me when they see me change and become a confident person? what if other people think that im weird bcs i used to be extremely shy? what if people say something about that? what if people say something about how i looked in the past when they see me change? what's the point of making changes in my life? what's the point of trying to become confident?...." there are tons of reasons and excuses that my mind always tries to come up with...i also feel like whats the point of living? i dont want to live..but i also dont want to die....how can i find something that can be a trigger for me to change myself? how do i have to think about other people's opinion? how can i have willpower to do personal development? how can i have passion in life again? i know its a very long writing...but here im trying to say something that i have kept for a long time...i really appreciate your help...thanks in advance...
  6. i have been thinking about it for a while, i guess. i keep asking myself "what if there will be no one notices your death if you don't get married?" my mom keeps saying that a person who doesn't get married won't be happy in the future bcs they will eventually be very lonely and then no one would even notice them if they die because they don't even have a husband/wife/children/grandchildren/ someone else that cares for them... but don't get me wrong.. this doesn't mean that i don't want to get married though... I'm just afraid that what if no one will be attracted to marry me or what if no one likes me? bcs sometimes i feel like I'm the odd one out among my peers and other people...i know it may sound irrational to you..but please give me advice..thanks in advance...
  7. i often feel anxious about almost everything in my life. i am always afraid of something bad happens or bad outcomes that might happen to me in the future. and when that bad things happen, it is always hard for me to get over that bad feeling. i suddenly realized that my problem is that i am always anxious about something bad that might happen in the future and if that happens, it will be hard for me to just keep staying positive and doing the right things that i have to do. sorry if i am being too repetitive in this post..you can just read the underlined sentence.
  8. @BobbyLowell yeah but i have been really tired recently..do i really have to push myself so hard by keep studying??
  9. is it wrong if we sometimes don't do things told by our parents? for example, this is a real story of my life actually. I am a 11th grader currently. I am so busy that I don't even have time to relax or do something that i really like. i feel like my mother doesn't really know that I am very very tired due to school tasks and exams. my mother ever said that if she has a child that always get good grades in school, she will be so happy and proud. while I actually have interest in some subjects only such as English and math, I sometimes get bad grades in some subjects. and recently, i have been really busy and tired due to school tasks and exams. i feel like that my mom thinks that i still don't struggle enough. she keeps telling me to study and study. if you really want to know how crazy my school is, we have always been given tasks and exams lately and even on Sunday, i still have to study! i don't have a single day to just relax! what should i really do? do i just have to keep studying to make my mother happy although i have been so tired??
  10. well, let me start my story. to be honest, i actually don't really like doing exercises in group, such as volley, soccer, and many more that require teamwork. But, this causes problem because when i am forced to play in a group (actually all the students have to play too), i don't have any joy or excitement in playing so i feel like people think i am just an useless person that is unreliable in the group. but i don't like doing sports that have to be in group of people too. well, it's not only sports, though. sometimes when the teacher tells us to make a group to present a drama, i think people just treat me like i am just a burden to people in my group because i know that i don't like it and therefore, i can't because i don't have passion in doing that. because of that, i feel like i piss people off. i more like doing things or exercises alone. well, actually i also ever experienced some kind of traumatic event in the past. when i was watching my friends playing chess, suddenly a ball hit my head hard. i also ever ran so fast that i fell and it really hurt. but as i said before that i actually don't like doing sports in a group too. i more like solving math problems alone than doing things in group. is it i who have to change? is it normal if i don't like doing things in group? well it's really hard for me to pretend that i like doing it in groups though...
  11. @InfinitePotential can i still eat rice less than usual and more vegetables?
  12. @InfinitePotential so do you mean that when i fast, i shouldn't eat anything and drink even just water???
  13. @InfinitePotential i think it's impossible for me to do fasting because my parents will definitely forbid me doing it..i ever lost consciousness so my parents will be really mad at me if I'm doing it...by the way, i'm still 16 years old..maybe hormones can't really be controlled??? or i can cure it by positive affirmations and self love everyday????
  14. @InfinitePotential by the way, i eat raw honey everyday. but my family says the protein shakes is good for your overall health..because i'm so skinny..