Hafiz

I was in a similar situation but I chose to leave my parents house because I knew I wouldn't get off my ass "find my life purpose" if I stayed at home and just binged watched youtube all day. Luckily I still live in the same city as my family and they are a good support system. Have you considered moving to a bigger city? You might find a wider and more plentiful source of jobs there. And yes, it will suck, but what if you work 2 jobs for like a year, save up a bunch of cash and then really take some time to sit down and sort out your life purpose. Also, meditate. You always have time to meditate.

"It is just straight up the uprooting and destroying of your belief system and ego to the point that you die and don't identify with anyone or any role anymore" How does this translate into how you behave and act in the world?

I've listened to the "comprehension has many levels" video a number of times now, and I really am intrigued at sitting with this question and seeing what comes up. Here is a short list of responses: I'm a pussy. The girls have a inherent distrust in a guy that is not confident. I'm not doing well financially. I have nothing to offer, I can't have fun for hours on end with a girl without going for sex. I would be a terrible father. What do you think of my list?

I am also on Nofap, so this would be my first real 13 day streak of being porn free. I really do believe my anxiety and body shakes during vipassana were due to coming out of the addiction that has plagued me for so many years. What are some suggestions for riding this energy out, besides just to keep with the daily meditations. Also, do you guys have some insight into how to make decisions after a Vipassana retreat. I feel like I have infinite options for my life at this point and I am having trouble just sitting with the overwhelming choice of paths to take.

www.dhamma.org

I am so damn anxious. Mostly this is due to me doing Nofap, and only being at a 2 week streak. I think porn has been my biggest sticking point for a long time. Will this retreat change me? Will I just use it as an excuse to "fake it til I make it". I have been meditating on a chair for awhile now, so I am going into the retreat with the intention to ask for a chair. I would do a cushion, but I was watching a movie cross legged the other night and my legs fell asleep. My legs falling asleep is even a problem when kayaking. Do you think this is enough justification for using a chair, or should I use a cushion in the lotus position.

Yes, it was fun. I don't see how it could be unsafe.

Final Fantasy 6 I've played that game a couple of times in my adolescence, and at the time it was more than just a game. I was IN that world and the story was so engrossing. It don't think I was the same kid after playing that game. I replayed the game during a very depressed period of my life in my mid twenties. Still had the same vibe. If you never play any other RPG or Final Fantasy game, play this one.

There are slots open near my dhamma center. My biggest concern is giving up 10 days of income from my job.

UPDATE: I am signed up from Nov 29 - Dec 10. The most important thing I think right now is to change my daily 15 minute meditation to 25-30 minutes, to build up some sort of momentum going into the retreat. I don't know how I will get through the strong determination sitting.

@ryan_047 "What is happiness?It just an emotion,and what does an emotion is?" What you state here is not accurate. Happiness is not an emotional high. Why am I doing what i'm doing? Because I intellectually understand the truths Leo speaks about but I haven't experience/brought them into my being. There is a quote by Adayshanti, "To know, and not to be, is to still not to really know." So ya, I might know some stuff, but if i'm still a piece of shit to this temporary universe, it indicates that I don't actually know anything.

Who would do this? $49000 USD. Who's go the cash and the balls. http://www.kcc.org/article/sealing-scols-first-three-year-retreat

I did. If you go through the website to apply, it specifically says they have separated cloisters for men and women. I think it just so happens for this 3 year retreat it was all women.

I don't think I am myself at all and I don't know how to start. You know how it goes in social relationships, you talk about jobs, career, dating, the news, entertainment, music, anything except Truth. I hide the fact that I've read dozens of books and have seemingly spent thousands of hours contemplating this stuff. I know that I am simply a perceptual functional apparatus no different fundamentally than an amoeba. What if in all my social relationships I only talk about this fact and nothing else? What would happen? Do I HAVE to do this?

Ya'll come across this guy yet? http://advaita.com.br/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/1-I-Am-That-Nisargadatta-Maharaj-Resumo.pdf To those of you who are far enough along the path to understand what he's talking about, how are you pragmatically applying what he is saying? How do you actually "do the thing". To those of you who haven't heard of him, I am really jealous, when I first read I AM THAT it was a really wonderful experience.

@fuse I want you to know that even though I am an internet stranger, I am sending you good wishes and that you may find some solace soon. Try going for a walk everyday, start with the BARE minimum.

The peak of LSD comes on at about 3-4 hours. You won't be tripping hard for the entire 12 hours. I feel like DMT is so strong and so quick, that when I did it, it was almost instantly forgotten by my brain. It was just like a dream, or like someone just put on a VR helmet on my eyes and then took off 3 minutes later. Work your way up the psychedelic chain, let your brain be strong enough for what you will see/feel. Stop trying to rush enlightenment.

LSD. DMT will take to too far into another dimension. Baby step your way up there. Have you gotten really high on edibile marijuana yet?

@thinair I don't think so. I mean, going down the rabbit hole of enlightenment kind of shines a lot of light on just how neurotic I am. I have some addictions and soft addictions for sure, that get in the way of my life, but not enough to warrant medication. I used to be an alcoholic, and I am now clean. I'm in a pretty stable life situation.

If what you say is true, that you aren't afraid of experimenting, then you are in the unique position of having overcome approach anxiety already, something that I still struggle with. Try talking to 3 strangers, guy or girl, a day, and get your mindset ready to meeting new people.

I don't want to identify with this particular image. I definitely used to be a hippie, but not so much anymore. What do you guys think of this term?

"You'll find someone special one day" What if you find them the day before you die?